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2009-03-05 Home Front: Culture Wars

How Soccer is Ruining America: A Jeremiad

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Posted by Mike 2009-03-05 11:49|| || Front Page|| [1 views ] Top

#1 Yes, Virginia, soccer does suck. It's a lowest common denominator sport. Sports facilities and equipment cost money, but any third world shit hole has enough open space to kick a ball around (or lacking that, an empty can or even a rock). So, of course, the multiculturalists love it.

And, having attended a couple of games at the World Cup in Palo Alto a few years ago, I agree that it is a miserably boring sort to watch. What was entertaining was the Cameroon royal family sitting in the stands behind me. They brought musicians and obviously know how to have a good time anywhere, anytime -- even at a soccer game.

Posted by Iblis 2009-03-05 12:26|| 2009-03-05 12:26|| Front Page Top

#2 And dodgeball is the cure.

Posted by ed 2009-03-05 12:43|| 2009-03-05 12:43|| Front Page Top

#3 Soccer, the official sport of socialism.

You're dead on Iblis. Ever watch a foreign soccer game broadcast? The sport is so boring, people get engaged in cheers and shouting that has literally nothing to do with the action on the field. They have to, to stave off passing out from boredom.

And this business of the short haired, fat assed soccer mommies and their candy-assed metrosexual 'husbands' putting their kids into a league where nobody keeps score is so unrealistic and dysfunctional it oughta be outlawed.

Dodgeball is a good start. A few days at the range is even better.

Posted by no mo uro 2009-03-05 13:55|| 2009-03-05 13:55|| Front Page Top

#4 Organizied soccer has contributed to the pussification of America.

Ed and no mo suggest "dodgeball' is the cure.

In my day we didn't call it "dodgeball". We called it Artillery. You can look it up.

Posted by MarkZ 2009-03-05 14:01|| 2009-03-05 14:01|| Front Page Top

#5 And to pussify it even further, in the little kids leagues, they don't even keep score. No winners, no losers. Everyone is equally mediocre.

Posted by tu3031 2009-03-05 14:20|| 2009-03-05 14:20|| Front Page Top

#6 I suppose this isn't the time for me to admit that I coached my daughter's AYSO soccer team for two years.

We did keep score. Well, I did.

Posted by Steve White 2009-03-05 14:35|| 2009-03-05 14:35|| Front Page Top

#7 Yeah, soccer sucks. The only good thing about it is on the Spanish stations, when the guy shouts "GOOOOOOAAAAALLLL!!" for three minutes whenever someone scores. Too bad he's only gotta scream it once or twice per game.

Posted by Cornsilk Blondie 2009-03-05 14:52|| 2009-03-05 14:52|| Front Page Top

#8 The riots are pretty good though. The games are so boring, they gotta do something to make people watch...

Posted by tu3031 2009-03-05 15:09|| 2009-03-05 15:09|| Front Page Top

#9 I'm no fan of soccer, more commonly and universally known as football, but this thread is a very funny illustration of cultural differences. I can see flaws in football, ESPECIALLY in professional football, but seeing it as pussified and boring and possibly even elitist is a riot, since I can't imagine a more popular and 'common people' sport. But, as I wrote, it's a cultural difference, it's very entertaining and interesting reading this thread, re pop culture, trends, and all. Football IS a girl's sport in the US : what a funny thought! Even the Sopranos had a bit about that one, with the paedo coach...
I wonder how the RB resident britons, who probably are actual fans, unlike me, will/would react to the comments above. I think you can expect to be headbutted (signature move of the street tough who does this a lot playing football), metaphorically speaking.

Posted by anonymous5089 2009-03-05 15:10|| 2009-03-05 15:10|| Front Page Top

#10 Soccer is the only sport I know of that generated a war. Small as it might be there is something special about the Soccer War (and the movie Victory was entertaining as well for a lightweight geat escape).

Posted by rjschwarz 2009-03-05 17:05|| 2009-03-05 17:05|| Front Page Top

#11 5098: The piece is not entirely serious. Speaking just for myself, both kids played soccer when they were a bit younger and they had fun doing it. I don't find it very engaging, and if my kids hadn't played, I probably would never have watched a single game straight through from end to end.

I don't get basketball, either. Give me hockey, baseball, and the NFL.

Posted by Mike 2009-03-05 17:29|| 2009-03-05 17:29|| Front Page Top

#12 Football/soccer is the most popular sport in the world bar none!!!!!

Only in America can you have a world series with only one nation in it.If you are not world champions you are not interested!

American football sucks as most players dont touch the ball,Baseball is played by a few contries like Cuba and Japan and Basketball is a chance to get out of the ghettos!

Strange how only USA dont like football/international sport must be like the USA news only interested in only one country ie the most insular nation i have ever visited!!!!

Posted by Paul2 2009-03-05 17:53|| 2009-03-05 17:53|| Front Page Top

#13 If you are not world champions you are not interested!

And the problem with that is?

American football sucks as most players dont touch the ball

American football players specialize; each contributes to make the team score or prevent the other team from scoring (like rugby). And as comedian George Carlin put it, it's a pretty good metaphor for war (which we in the US are also good at).

Posted by Pappy 2009-03-05 19:02|| 2009-03-05 19:02|| Front Page Top

#14 Paul2,when did Toronto join the US?

Posted by Deacon Blues 2009-03-05 19:16|| 2009-03-05 19:16|| Front Page Top

#15 Re Paul2's comment:

Back in the days of the Clinton presidency, John Cleese was on David Letterman and pointed out the differences between the US and UK.

He said:

1.) We speak English better.

2.) When we host a World Championship, we actually invite other nations to participate.

3.) When you meet our head of state, you only have to get down on one knee.

Posted by JDB 2009-03-05 19:17|| 2009-03-05 19:17|| Front Page Top

#16 ie the most insular nation i have ever visited!!!!

Bummer! Give us another 100 years or so to repair and come visit again.

Posted by Besoeker 2009-03-05 19:21|| 2009-03-05 19:21|| Front Page Top

#17 First, it's called football, thank you.
Second, it's as "boring" or exciting as American Football. I've sat through extremely boring games of American Football when suddenly that last second kick off return touchdown changed everything.

Same with football. Watched a match yesterday that had:

No goal in the first half.
Then 3 goals for one team.
Then 2 goals for the other team within 2 minutes.

Then a mad tush and the match upside down.

In the last minute the first team scores a 4th goal.

That's football. Ask ANY European boy whether he finds football boring and you'll get a blank stare from 95% of them.

Now don't let me start with baseball.

Posted by European Conservative 2009-03-05 19:37|| 2009-03-05 19:37|| Front Page Top

#18 I don't watch any sports at all, EC.

Once upon a time I used to pay attention to baseball and basketball (even played basketball - badly - in high school and college), but that was when the players actually played the game instead of getting into fights and/or dancing around like idiots every time they ~~do the job they're being paid for~~ score. I want fights, I'll turn on boxing.

Nowadays, I'd sooner watch oil paint dry - it's a much more productive use of my time than watching "sports" - including football (either kind).

Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut 2009-03-05 19:50|| 2009-03-05 19:50|| Front Page Top

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