[Babylon Bee] SACRAMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom has released new guidelines for California's counties looking to reopen their businesses, saying that counties may only begin to lift their lockdowns once a cure for death itself has been found.
"Once we have beaten the last enemy, death itself, we can slowly begin to reopen over a 40-year period," Newsom said at a press conference Tuesday. "Counties that report even one death for any reason will be forced to keep closures in place indefinitely, until we have answered the eternal question of how to reverse aging and ensure no one can die ever."
"We can't be too careful -- we must all cower in fear until death has been conquered."
Newsom says acceptable markers for counties to slowly begin reopening would include discovering a mythical fountain of youth, inventing an immortality serum, or collecting all the Infinity stones to bend reality itself in order to end death itself.
At publishing time, Newsom had clarified that, of course, his own winery would remain open regardless.
#1
Unfortunately, this article is one of those that almost believable.
I am beginning to be convinced that we will never see the end of the COVID restrictions.Governors and health commissioners are having too much fun playing the tyrant.
Posted by: Rambler in Virginia ||
09/02/2020 9:57 Comments ||
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#2
In the meantime,wife and I are getting our Senior Flu shots (Double dose).But we are not interested in the Covid vaccine.
We both skipped the Hong Kong Flu vaccine in 1968 as we caught that flu before the vaccine was made.
Yes,we believe that this article is true,at least in California.
#4
SAN DIEGO (KGTV) -- When entering most newly reopened businesses in San Diego County, customers will need to sign in with their name and phone number.
The change only applies to businesses now offering indoor services; the county’s public health order was updated to reflect the changes now in effect for the following sectors:
Hair Salons & Barbershops
Personal Care Services
Gyms & Fitness Centers
Restaurants, Wineries, Bars, Breweries, and Distilleries that serve food.
[Washington Examiner] NORTH LIMA, Ohio — Ron Spickler is sitting on the front porch of his modest Mahoning County brick home eating dinner and watching the world drive by the busy little state routes that intersect and pass his front door.
On his lawn are a variety of signs that tell the story of Spickler — at least, the political story. There is a Trump-Pence 2020 sign, a Trump flag, a Trump Country sign, and an Ohio for Trump banner. There is also a sign thanking healthcare workers for their service and, of course, a "Beware of Dog" sign for good measure. Spickler says children come by — he assumes they are children by the videos he has of them — and take his signs down constantly. He puts them right back up "just to mess with them."
Spickler was a lifetime Democrat. He voted for Barack Obama, then switched to Donald Trump in 2016. He cannot wait to show up to vote for him in November and is quick to note the divide in this country. He hopes whoever wins will try to repair it.
[THEHILL] While the election isn’t until November 3, it looks like lots of people and businesses are, in a sense, "voting" early — with their feet.In pre-pandemic January, I wrote here about the blue-state exodus in which thousands of blue-state residents, fed up with high taxes, heavy regulations and "woker-than-thou" policies, are fleeing the sinking blue ships and moving to red states. Now it appears we are seeing a blue-city exodus as well.
Begin with the fact that virtually every large city in the country is run by liberals. World Population Review lists the 20 most liberal U.S. cities, with the Socialist paradise of San Francisco ...where God struck dead Anton LaVey, home of the Sydney Ducks, ruled by Vigilance Committee from 1859 through 1867, reliably and volubly Democrat since 1964... leading the way, followed by Washington, DC, Seattle, Oakland, Boston, Minneapolis, bankrupt, increasingly impoverished, reliably Democrat, Detroit ... ruled by Democrats since 1962. A city whose Golden Age included the Purple Gang... and New York City. reliably Democrat Chicago, aka The Windy City or Mobtown ...home of Al Capone, the Chicago Black Sox, a succession of Daleys, Barak Obama, and Rahm Emmanuel... comes in at 11 and Portland at 12.
According to the Review, liberal cities tend to place "greater value on social justice, ensuring access to healthcare, regulating economic activity, and social equality." And, of course, higher taxes.
Noticeably absent among liberal-city priorities is peace, safety, order and respect for private property.
Posted by: Fred ||
09/02/2020 00:00 ||
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#1
Hopefully they will leave their old voting habits behind as well.
#2
Blue babies reviving! Soon, hopefully,
They'll be in the pink, and thrive. Hopefully?
I'm sure they'll think twice
Once fresh air makes 'em nice.
Then we'll all vote Republican... hopefully.
#4
I recently had a new internet provider install a system up in Cherokee County, GA. He had an obvious NJ or NY accent, no smiles, a definite transplant. Got to talking to him briefly about available channels, cable content, etc. His closing comment below:
"Yea,about all you hear nowadays on the tube is Trump, Trump, Trump."
Posted by: Bob Grorong1136 ||
09/02/2020 7:53 Comments ||
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#7
^ That's because the right people are not commies.
Posted by: Abu Uluque ||
09/02/2020 11:21 Comments ||
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#8
The funny thing is the commies always assume they'll be the ones to survive to tinker with peoples lives making Communism work this time, when most likely they'll be first against the wall.
People have been talking about the Curley Effect, wherein the most productive, smartest citizens are driven out of a city, leaving only the parasites and the sub-average.
This increases the grip that mayors like DuhBlahZero have on their cities ("Reign in Hell" and all that)
At first blush, we might all have a little chuckle about that, as we revel in these blue cities’ self-inflicted miseries.
One small problem, though.
There’s an election coming up, and there are several “swing states” where the vote could be determined by just a few thousand ballots.
Imagine blue (or blue-ish) city mayors with a stronger than ever grip on the ballot collection and vote counts, thanks to the BLMexit.
What will they do when Tom Perez calls and says “We need your state to go to Biden. Do what you gotta do.”?
Now, you’re going to say “But charger! They’ll do that anyway! So what’s the big deal?”
The big deal is that the Great Vote Robbery of 2020 will be on a far larger scale and by more multifarious means than ever before.
And unless there’s a plan to deal with it, this “cleansing” of the cities will make it even easier for the left to pull these shenanigans.
The next question will be “But charger! This is happening in blue states! So it’s a wash! So what’s the big deal?”
They’ve been putting this show on in their own nests, but that doesn’t mean they won’t take it on the road to the metropoles of low population density pro-Trump states.
Even if it wasn’t all part of some grand design, we shouldn’t ignore the opportunities for stealing the election that these circumstances provide.
#10
One thing I forgot to mention in my little essay is that the stakes are bigger than ever for these Mayors of Disaster, because they're all going to want massive bailouts from you and me.
That's much more likely to happen with a Biden win.
Which is why I think the cheating and theft will go way beyond anything we've seen before.
It would be a gross failure of imagination and dereliction of duty to assume that the left will merely do what they've always done.
Sadly, the Right is very prone to failures of imagination ("Surely, no one would ever do that?!")
#11
It's not 'coming', it's already here. Boston will perhaps come back in a few years but places like NYC, Portland, Seattle and Minneapolis, however, are truly and royally fucked.
[PJ] In yet another of the seemingly endless string of jihad attacks and plots in the United States that the media almost universally ignores, Tnuza Jamal Hassan pleaded guilty Wednesday to federal terrorism charges. Back in January 2018, the winsome Ms. Hassan set a series of fires on the campus of St. Catherine University in Minnesota, after exhorting Muslim students to "join the jihad in fighting" and join jihad terror groups such as al-Qaeda, the Taliban, or al-Shabaab. Students at St. Catherine University were shocked: but their school is "diverse!" How could this possibly have happened to them?
Hassan herself gave numerous indications that she was a hardened, convinced jihad terrorist. She said that she had set the fires in revenge for supposed American atrocities on "Muslim land." She wrote a letter to her roommates that police said contained "radical ideas about supporting Muslims and bringing back the caliphate." She told investigators that "she wanted the school to burn to the ground and her intent was to hurt people." There was a daycare center in one of the buildings where Hassan set fires; eight adults and 33 children were there at the time.
One student said: "I never expected it. She was a first-year student, too, and that is especially scary." Why would a first-year student setting a series of fires around campus be scarier than a third-year student setting them? The student did not explain, but if St. Catherine University is as much of a far-left indoctrination center as other universities and colleges are today, maybe the explanation is self-evident: by the third year, students are fully indoctrinated in hatred and violence.
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
...home of Al Capone, the Chicago Black Sox, a succession of Daleys, Barak Obama, and Rahm Emmanuel...
[PJ] In yet another of the seemingly endless string of jihad attacks and plots in the United States that the media almost universally ignores, Tnuza Jamal Hassan pleaded guilty Wednesday to federal terrorism charges. Back in January 2018, the winsome Ms. Hassan set a series of fires on the campus of St. Catherine University in Minnesota, after exhorting Muslim students to "join the jihad in fighting" and join jihad terror groups such as al-Qaeda, the Taliban, or al-Shabaab. Students at St. Catherine University were shocked: but their school is "diverse!" How could this possibly have happened to them?
