Archived material Access restricted Article
Rantburg

Today's Front Page   View All of Tue 10/12/2021 View Mon 10/11/2021 View Sun 10/10/2021 View Sat 10/09/2021 View Fri 10/08/2021 View Thu 10/07/2021 View Wed 10/06/2021
1
2021-10-12 -Great Cultural Revolution
New Superman revealed to be bisexual, global activist in DC comics
Archived material is restricted to Rantburg regulars and members. If you need access email fred.pruitt=at=gmail.com with your nick to be added to the members list. There is no charge to join Rantburg as a member.
Posted by Fred 2021-10-12 00:00|| || Front Page|| [3 views ]  Top

#1 Fabulous!
Posted by Raj 2021-10-12 00:45||   2021-10-12 00:45|| Front Page Top

#2 When The Message™ is far, far more important than entertainment
Posted by magpie 2021-10-12 01:00||   2021-10-12 01:00|| Front Page Top

#3 Down $1(.25)
Posted by Patriot  2021-10-12 01:15||   2021-10-12 01:15|| Front Page Top

#4 What? He/She/It isn't Bisexual as well as trans-sexual?
Posted by CrazyFool 2021-10-12 01:29||   2021-10-12 01:29|| Front Page Top

#5 ^ he was before that tranny buggered him with a stick o' kryptonite. Happens every time.
Posted by Patriot  2021-10-12 01:31||   2021-10-12 01:31|| Front Page Top

#6 Might explain his suicide.
Posted by Besoeker 2021-10-12 01:58||   2021-10-12 01:58|| Front Page Top

#7 
An they shall corrupt the foundations of everything they touch.
Posted by NN2N1 2021-10-12 08:35||   2021-10-12 08:35|| Front Page Top

#8 There's a saying from old Hollywood:

If you want to send a message, use Western Union.

Posted by Rupert Jererong3366 2021-10-12 10:41||   2021-10-12 10:41|| Front Page Top

#9 Pronounced Yawn.

That's just pop art on the wall by the billiard table at The Blue Oyster quality. The proportions all all off, that is Yawn's shoulders imply a human who is 5'4 and 100 pounds. His nose is through the glasses. No Adam's Apple on Perrpal, and what's with the elf ear? Purrpal appears to be sitting, so even less physical?

Timms artwork is shit, even with the crutches of photoshop apps. Look at the window, the perspective is all off. Had to use a green screen in a computer art sketch? Just awful. What is that in the top right, a vent hood? Lighting highlight is terrible, there be at least a hint of shadowing.

This isn't art any more than big titty women being drawn in shop class textbooks. Except, shop class is useful.
Posted by swksvolFF 2021-10-12 10:47||   2021-10-12 10:47|| Front Page Top

#10 It's a turd! It's a pain! It's Pooperman!

These people contribute absolutely nothing. FFS man, at least put Purrpal in a onesie or something. The next generation is going to wipe the floor with your nose.
Posted by swksvolFF 2021-10-12 10:52||   2021-10-12 10:52|| Front Page Top

#11 Never really got into comics. Why read comics when there's Pournelle, Niven, and so many other good books to read. A comic book MIGHT last 5 minutes...a book at least generally lasts me 2-3 hours.
Posted by Silentbrick 2021-10-12 11:20||   2021-10-12 11:20|| Front Page Top

#12 Somehow I see a surplus of Superman Halloween costumes 11/1/21.
Posted by Vespasian Ebboting9735 2021-10-12 11:25||   2021-10-12 11:25|| Front Page Top

#13 ... and it continues down the drain! I'm glad I got to read them in the Golden Age.
Posted by AlmostAnonymous5839 2021-10-12 11:44||   2021-10-12 11:44|| Front Page Top

#14 Archie and Veronica were better drawn than this garbage
Posted by Mr Wetherby 2021-10-12 12:02||   2021-10-12 12:02|| Front Page Top

#15 Why is Yawn's esophagus going into his ear? Could explain the bag under his eye. Just shit quality art style.

Its like Timmsie has a crush on some dude at gay coffee shop, but dude is necking with some other dude, so Timmsie goes to watch and draw pictures on an ipad. But everyone else at gay coffee wondering who the creep is with his hands under the table, apparently doing something in his lap.
Posted by swksvolFF 2021-10-12 12:41||   2021-10-12 12:41|| Front Page Top

#16 My Mom wouldn't let us read comics. She said they were trash. She took us to the library at an early age and introduced us to the wonderful world of literature. I haven't stopped.
Posted by Deacon Blues 2021-10-12 13:51||   2021-10-12 13:51|| Front Page Top

#17 P. S. I don't necessarily agree with Mon. If you like comics go for it. I have no interest in them but a lot of people do. Read what you like.
Posted by Deacon Blues 2021-10-12 13:54||   2021-10-12 13:54|| Front Page Top

#18 Ref #16: Well, if they weren't "trash" back in the 50's, they certainly are now.
Posted by Besoeker 2021-10-12 16:33||   2021-10-12 16:33|| Front Page Top

#19 As suggested in the essey Man of steel, woman of tissue, his super-sperm would be like bullets.
Posted by ruprecht 2021-10-12 17:37||   2021-10-12 17:37|| Front Page Top

#20 his super-sperm would be like bullets

'Robot Chicken' did a skit like that about Superman several years ago.
Posted by Mullah Richard 2021-10-12 17:56||   2021-10-12 17:56|| Front Page Top

#21 I think there is a type of kryptonite that takes away Superman's powers temporarily.

He could impregnate Lois during this time without killing her.
Posted by Lord Garth 2021-10-12 18:29||   2021-10-12 18:29|| Front Page Top

#22 Yeah, she puts that rock on his finger, bam! Superpowerless. He's doing the laundry. Losing fights about the dishwasher loading. Folding sheets crooked. Towels aren't right. Its always his fault the microwave is dirty even though he just watched Lois boil over the oatmeal. Before you know it, he's building a shed in the backyard.
Posted by swksvolFF 2021-10-12 18:45||   2021-10-12 18:45|| Front Page Top

#23 Ends up he slept with Crazy. She's coming back from work, "Heard at the desk *somebody* faster than a locomotive was out last night, and I'm like, Oh, I know who THAT is. Who were you with huh? And don't give me that Luther story again, heard it three times this month already. Who is she? Tell me, or I'll hit you so hard you'll feel like you are back at that diner, Son of Kal-El. Son of a bitch is more like it."
Posted by swksvolFF 2021-10-12 18:52||   2021-10-12 18:52|| Front Page Top

#24 I think ya got something there, swksvolFF. "I Love Lucy" meets "The Man of Steel" with a touch of "The Honeymooners". Have your people call my people!
Posted by SteveS 2021-10-12 19:06||   2021-10-12 19:06|| Front Page Top

#25 Well, the relationship gets more and more oppressive and we find Lois is actually a 2nd wave feminist, and he has to wear the ring just to prove he isn't cheating on her. In reality, its a way to control him.

Eventually, Lois gets pregnant. One night when the big game is on, she needs pickles like right now. He takes the ring off, goes to the store, and is back before the commercial is over. Even brings back a pint of Rocky Road. Lois flips at the loss of control, tells him never again with taking off the ring. Clark starts going to the liquor bar and becomes a lush, which is ok, because it means he doesn't have his powers, and can get yelled at when he gets home.

Eventually the sympathetic bartender (Woody Harrilson) convinces Clark to get a fake Kriptonic ring, and Superman wears this instead of drinking, just to feel normal. Still, his crime fighting days are over as this would give up his game.

One day he uses his x-ray and discovers the kid will be a boy. Now he is really nervous and closes down, further fueled by Batman stories and how Superman's glory days are over. He has since left his job at the Planet so he can have some space from Lois, and takes up a job selling shoes. Hilarity ensues as he has to pretend to be drunk when he comes home, nearly getting caught time and again with the fake ring on.

Child is born, and expectedly Lois is pissed its a boy. She harangues Clark incessantly, threatening to expose his secrets in the news - his alter ego, where the Fortress of Solitude is, how Kyrptonians love bits resemble those of pigs, that he has Brie Larson toes, everything. So he has to take it.

His son Yawn grows up watching this, becomes a 3rd wave feminist because that is how men should be treated, especially this 'drunken bore'. Naturally this leads him to The Blue Oyster where he meets Freddy Mercury's unknown son, whose own mother raised him wishing she had an abortion.

Levity occurs as he tries to build his cuckshed as Clark instead of Superman, and eventually has to give himself another altar ego as a crime fighter, dresses strange and nerfs himself, tags onto Batman as Robin, and has to suffer that indignation from Batman's constant slurs against Superman being past his prime.

Just can't win. The laugh tracks make the show funny, framing him as a doddering fool.
Posted by swksvolFF 2021-10-12 21:46||   2021-10-12 21:46|| Front Page Top

#26 Super fudge packer soon to play for Green Bay?
Posted by Woodrow 2021-10-12 23:05||   2021-10-12 23:05|| Front Page Top

#27 la la "Suck Joe Biden"
Posted by Woodrow 2021-10-12 23:09||   2021-10-12 23:09|| Front Page Top

23:39 Blackbeard Barnsmell6454
23:12 Skidmark
23:09 Woodrow
23:07 Skidmark
23:05 Woodrow
23:01 Woodrow
21:46 swksvolFF
20:55 Frank G
20:53 Frank G
20:19 SteveS
19:48 Frank G
19:39 Frank G
19:39 Bill Pelosi9116
19:06 SteveS
18:52 swksvolFF
18:51 Blackbeard Barnsmell6454
18:45 swksvolFF
18:39 Blackbeard Barnsmell6454
18:38 Patriot
18:37 Patriot
18:29 Lord Garth
18:21 jpal
18:21 SteveS
18:06 Procopius2k









Paypal:
Google
Search WWW Search rantburg.com