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2010-01-08 -Signs, Portents, and the Weather-

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Posted by Mike 2010-01-08 16:35|| || Front Page|| [2 views ] Top

#1 This is to the tune of "The Scottish Soldier" or Grunter's parody, "The Cyber Soldier"

LOCH NESS MONSTER

(Traditional; Arr., Iain C. MacKintosh/Hamish Imlach)

There was a monster, a Scottish monster
Who lives in far Loch Ness, a very fine address
All the hoteliers and postcard selliers
Are making fortunes every year

Folk see her cruising when they've been boozing
In the pale moonlight - what a fearful sight
And if you get fu', you might see her too
What a tale to tell your wife

I sing of a monster that lives in Loch Ness
She makes the headlines in the national press
Perhaps she's employed by the Daily Express
To separate tourists from money

And from England, France and Germany and places far and wide
With their cameras they hide behind the trees
Every year a new invasion's coming from a foreign nation
They crawl about the banks on hands and knees

And they've got submarines and diving-bells and all the latest gear
They come to hunt our Nessie with high hope
They go diving in the water but till now they haven't caught her
And she's down there laughing up their periscopes

They couldnae get a picture, a picture, a picture
They couldnae get a picture, she wouldn't put her head up
They couldnae get a picture, a picture, a picture
They couldnae get a picture, she wouldn't put her head up
They couldn't see the hump o' her, they couldn't see the rump o' her
They couldn't see the hump o' her, she wouldn't put her head up

There was a student, a Scottish student
Who blew up rubber tyres and strung them all with wires
He set them floating and sat there gloating
While folk took pictures by the score

And the whole world heard Nessie's name again
And the Tourist Board played its game again
Please don't tell them you heard me sing this song
And her name will live forever more

Posted by Alaska Paul 2010-01-08 16:56|| 2010-01-08 16:56|| Front Page Top

#2 IIRC HISTORY CHANNEL/DISCOVERY > Presuming that NESSIE is indeed real, its ability to survive may had been severely hampered due to local construx of various small locks-n-dams leading into, out of Loch Ness, effec locking Nessie permanently in the Loch = vital external food sources.

Also, Nessie may had survived the eons due to inbreeding, which in turn would've reduced her natural genetic ability to survive environ stresses.

BUT HEY, IFF SAMPLES OF SO-CALLED "EXTINCT" ANIMALS CAN STILL BE FOUND IN THE WILD, + RADIC ISLAMIST ZOMBIES, "NESSIE" PER SE MAY STILL LIVE!

Posted by JosephMendiola 2010-01-08 17:32|| na 2010-01-08 17:32|| Front Page Top

#3 Meanwhile, inexplicably, prices have been slashed for Mahi-Mahi in Tesco stores throughout the UK.

Posted by Anonymoose 2010-01-08 19:58|| 2010-01-08 19:58|| Front Page Top

#4 ...I for one shall always believe that Nessie will forever swim the waters of the Loch, and only those who believe in her will see her.

Mike

Posted by Mike Kozlowski 2010-01-08 19:59|| 2010-01-08 19:59|| Front Page Top

#5 BUT HEY, IFF SAMPLES OF SO-CALLED "EXTINCT" ANIMALS CAN STILL BE FOUND IN THE WILD, + RADIC ISLAMIST ZOMBIES, "NESSIE" PER SE MAY STILL LIVE!

Whoops! I certainly didn't see that coming, JosephM!

Posted by trailing wife 2010-01-08 21:41|| 2010-01-08 21:41|| Front Page Top

23:59 JosephMendiola
23:59 JosephMendiola
23:57 JosephMendiola
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22:57 Old Patriot
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22:40 gorb
22:40 abu do you love
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22:24 SteveS
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