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Chechen boom babes were roommates
Today's Headlines
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-Short Attention Span Theater-
bride and groom of doom
A South African man who shot his pregnant fiance dead before killing himself will be posthumously married to her at the weekend.
When he sez "I do," that's gonna empty the hall PDQ...
Police Captain Mohale Ramatseba said David Masenta shot 25-year-old Mgwanini Molomo after a quarrel before turning the gun on himself. But Johannesburg's Sowetan newspaper said family and friends wanted to remember them as a happy couple destined for a happy life together.
"Like they had until he... ummm... blew her away."
The groom's corpse would be dressed in a cream suit and his bride's in a gown for the ceremony, at which a priest in the rural village of Ceres in Limpopo will bless the union before the two are buried after a two-week honeymoon in Jamaica, the Sowetan said. "In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul," said cultural expert Mathole Motshekga.
"... and the point where decomposition begins."
"It is also important because the families are married together. This does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down."
"Only that they're titzup."
Posted by: muck4doo || 08/30/2004 15:48 || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Oh, where to begin?

"In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul"

You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to.

"This does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down."

No, but the bride and groom soon will be.
Posted by: BH || 08/30/2004 16:37 Comments || Top||

#2  who says the bride wants to marry him now??
Posted by: Frank G || 08/30/2004 16:49 Comments || Top||

#3  "This does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down."
It's just been put on hold... permanently.

I guess I can forget a thank you note for the toaster.
Posted by: Dar || 08/30/2004 16:49 Comments || Top||

#4  How could the family of the "bride" have invited the murderer to become part of their family after her murder?

There are certainly sick folks in this world.
Posted by: jules 187 || 08/30/2004 16:51 Comments || Top||

#5  Best man's speech is going to be a real side-splitter, I'll bet.
Posted by: Bulldog || 08/30/2004 16:52 Comments || Top||

#6  Best man's speech is going to be a real side-splitter, I'll bet.

Depends on the progress of decomposition.
Posted by: Robert Crawford || 08/30/2004 17:26 Comments || Top||

#7  All the same I think I'll pass on the 'Kiss the Bride' part myself. Either during the ceremony or in the reception line...

What happens when they get to the 'till Death do us part' section?
Posted by: CrazyFool || 08/30/2004 17:49 Comments || Top||

#8  Mucki's been all over this.
Posted by: Shipman || 08/30/2004 18:25 Comments || Top||


Lawyer Accused of Stealing From Poor
Whoa! Stop the presses!
Posted by: Fred || 08/30/2004 2:56:09 PM || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Isn’t lawyer a synonym for stealing?
Posted by: Cyber Sarge || 08/30/2004 17:42 Comments || Top||


How drunk is that? Man decapitated in bizarre wreck, driver kept going
A Cobb County man is charged in a car wreck in which his passenger was decapitated. Police say John Kemper Hutcherson, 21, was driving under the influence of alcohol Saturday night when his truck struck a utility pole. His passenger, Francis Daniel Brohm, was partially ejected. His head was severed by the pole's support wire, police said. But police say Hutcherson continued home and went to bed, covered in blood. A neighbor walking with his baby spotted Brohm's body hanging out of Hutcherson's truck about 8 a.m. Sunday, said Cobb County police Cpl. Dana Pierce. Hutcherson was treated for dehydration before being booked at the county jail. He is charged with vehicular homicide.
Posted by: Frank G || 08/30/2004 2:49:07 PM || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Man, that hadda hurt! Briefly.
Posted by: Fred || 08/30/2004 14:56 Comments || Top||

#2  I've woken up with a regret or few, but... that... hell.
Posted by: Bulldog || 08/30/2004 14:59 Comments || Top||

#3  He told him to STFU. And when the buddy didn't...
Posted by: Chuck Simmins || 08/30/2004 20:19 Comments || Top||


California man's HIV diagnosis turns out to be wrong
A California man who once tested positive for the virus that causes AIDS has learned the diagnosis made eight years ago was mistaken and he was never infected. Jim Malone spent years battling depression and losing weight, expecting to die at any time. He attended support group meetings and accepted free meals from an AIDS charity.
Tonight, he's getting laid... Four times.
Malone's main physician, Dr. Richard Karp, acknowledged the error in an Aug. 4 letter to the Department of Veterans Affairs clinic where Malone was treated. "As his primary care provider, I take full responsibility," the doctor wrote.
"Go ahead. Gut my bank account."
Malone, who is gay and has lost friends to AIDS, said he is relieved but angry at his doctor. "He told me, 'We made a very big mistake. We did not do our job,"' he told the San Francisco Chronicle. "I said, 'You mean to tell me that all you have to say is you are sorry? Sorry that I lived for all this time believing I was going to die?"'
You will eventually, guaranteed. Think of it as getting a few more years for free...
The Oakland Department of Veterans Affairs is investigating. The error may have occurred because Malone arrived at the clinic in 1996 with lab results from a testing firm showing he had HIV, said Karen Pridmore, spokeswoman for the VA's Northern California Health Care System. The clinic performed its own HIV test on Malone to confirm the first set of results and it came back negative, but that information was never shared with the patient, Pridmore said. The mistake was uncovered by the VA's computer system, which tracks HIV patients and conducts a periodic review of cases.
Posted by: Fred || 08/30/2004 2:33:07 PM || Comments || Link || [0 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Malone's main physician, Dr. Richard Karp, acknowledged the error

Doctor Karp? Sounds fishy to me. I hope he sues the fish doctor down to the boxer shorts.
Posted by: BigEd || 08/30/2004 14:52 Comments || Top||

#2  The real downer is going to happen with the nest test.
Posted by: Shipman || 08/30/2004 15:16 Comments || Top||

#3  Good luck with the lawsuit, it looks like Karp's a VA doctor. That means a federal employee, only way would be under the Federal Tort Claims Act and Military Claims Act. I believe that only covers: Where the government has not provided adequate medical care; where federal employees, behaving negligently, caused injuries or where injuries have occurred because of government activities.
Since Malone isn't sick, he just was told he was, none of the above apply. Only case he has is mental anguish, and I don't think the government can be sued for that.
Posted by: Steve || 08/30/2004 15:50 Comments || Top||

#4 
Tonight, he's getting laid... Four times.

Whereupon an HIV test conducted in a week or so will come back positive, prompting the doctor to say.....
Posted by: Bomb-a-rama || 08/30/2004 17:15 Comments || Top||



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Two weeks of WOT
Mon 2004-08-30
  Chechen boom babes were roommates
Sun 2004-08-29
  Boom Kills 9 Children, 1 Adult in Afghan School
Sat 2004-08-28
  437 arrested in Islamabad crackdown
Fri 2004-08-27
  Former Yemeni interior minister helped Cole mastermind
Thu 2004-08-26
  Smell of Burned Flesh, Blood Smeared on Najaf Streets
Wed 2004-08-25
  Hamas op nabbed taping Maryland bridge
Tue 2004-08-24
  Two Russ planes boomed
Mon 2004-08-23
  Former Pak MP denies role in terrorist plot
Sun 2004-08-22
  Fatah splinter calls for bumping off Yasser
Sat 2004-08-21
  Tater wants to hand over mosque. Really.
Fri 2004-08-20
  U.S. Arrests Two Suspected Hamas Members
Thu 2004-08-19
  US Begins Major Push against Defiant Sadr
Wed 2004-08-18
  Bombs found near Berlusconi's villa after Blair visit
Tue 2004-08-17
  Tater wants Pope to mediate
Mon 2004-08-16
  Terror group threatens Dutch with "Islamic earthquake"


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