Amaze your friends! Befuddle your enemies! Get A's in Gender Studies! Get laid at the next ANSWER demo! With this indispensable new tool of nuance and cutting edge progressive awareness!
I tried it with everything on "random" and came up with this:
Once again, the Recriminals have STOLEN the so-called "election"!!! The henchmen of Karl Rove bribed minority voters in France!!!!!!!!! And their last-minute SCARE TACTICS of accusing John Kerry of being a liberal, and trying to focus on morality instead of REAL ISSUES like Vietnam were calculated to frighten so-called "women" into VOTING!!!! If you're not MIFFED about this, then you're a BIG IDIOT!!
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy ||
11/13/2004 6:56:03 AM ||
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Once again, the Replicants have STOLEN the so-called "election"!!! The henchmen of Karl Rove ate minority voters in Cuba!!!!!!!!! And their last-minute SCARE TACTICS of accusing John Kerry of being a billionaire, and trying to focus on morality instead of REAL ISSUES like Vietnam were calculated to frighten so-called "men" into VOTING!!!! If you're not CROSS-EYED about this, then you're a BIG IDIOT!!!!!!!
#4
I'm going to rig up an autoposting script and hook it to this, then aim it at DU, once every 30 minutes or so. I bet they'll never notice.
Once again, the Recidivists have STOLEN the so-called "election"!!! The henchmen of Karl Rove disenfranchised minority voters in France!!!!!!!!! And their last-minute SCARE TACTICS of accusing John Kerry of being a traitor, and trying to focus on gay marriage instead of REAL ISSUES like health care were calculated to frighten so-called "chimps" into VOTING!!!! If you're not DYSCALCIATE about this, then you're a BIG IDIOT!
#6
"Once again, the Ruminants have STOLEN the so-called "election"!!! The henchmen of Karl Rove drafted minority voters in Abu Ghraib!!!!!!!!! And their last-minute SCARE TACTICS of accusing John Kerry of being a crash test dummy, and trying to focus on the Constitution instead of REAL ISSUES like socialized medicine were calculated to frighten so-called "moderates" into VOTING!!!! If you're not GLABROUS about this, then you're a BIG IDIOT!!!!!!
PLASTIC surgeons have issued a stark warning over the dangers of "gift surgery" after the growing popularity of cosmetic enhancement prompted a leading firm to offer vouchers for operations. Transform, which caused controversy by showing graphic procedures on Channel Five's Cosmetic Surgery Live, is expecting a festive rush for the vouchers, which range from £100 to £4,000 and can be used for anything from botox injections to nose jobs and breast implants.
WHAT POPULAR OPERATIONS COST
Breast enhancement: £3,500-£5,000: Most popular operation. Implants available in different shapes and sizes; silicon and saline-only implants now used. Usually means one or two nights in hospital; can be combined with a breast uplift.
Breast reduction: £3,750-£5,500: Can make breasts smaller, lighter and firmer; up to five nights in hospital.
Liposuction: £1,800-£4,500 Removes fat from thighs, stomachs, buttocks, hips, knees and ankles.
Tummy tuck: £3,900-£5,000: Popular after childbirth.
Nose reshaping: £3,100-£4,000; Eyelid surgery: upper lids £1,600-£2,250; lower lids £1,900-£2,650; both £2,850-£3,700
Facelift: £4,300-£6,000 Lifts up sagging skin, making face tighter and smoother.
Anti-wrinkling : £250-£500: Botox is most popular for wrinkles in the forehead and 'crow's feet' at the corners of the eyes.
Head & brain transplant prices upon request
Posted by: Mark Espinola ||
11/13/2004 6:57:38 AM ||
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#1
What? No spine transplant? Can think of a few politicians, college presidents, school administators, etc, who really need one.
Posted by: Don ||
11/13/2004 11:41 Comments ||
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#2
Doesn't the pole up their bums count?
Posted by: ed ||
11/13/2004 11:56 Comments ||
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#3
Wallet reduction for low self-esteem.
Posted by: Tom ||
11/13/2004 12:04 Comments ||
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#2
Send in the French scuba team. After all, they haven't had anything to do since they blew up the Rainbow Warrior. This mission is probably just about as dangerous.
Posted by: Weird Al ||
11/13/2004 13:24 Comments ||
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#3
Isn't about time that the international community connected up the dots with respect to China's persistent destabilization of global security? Whether it be proliferating missile technology to Iran so that they can threaten Europe, financing North Korea's nuclear ambitions so as to menace America, or merely hollowing out every other country's industrial infrastructure via intellectual property theft, pirating and patent violations, China is the wide-angle terrorist to Islamism's more narrowly scoped agenda.
The world will only be safe once all other nations have rocked China back on its monetary heels and forced it to assume a more realistic foreign trade model than blatant economic rape.
Sacre Bleu!! I have found zee mystery boot at last. Ha ha! I phart in your general direction. Quelle Merde! He eez too close. Reverse, reverse. Phlippers, don't phail me now. Arrggh!!! I surrender.
#5
Isn't about time that the international community connected up the dots with respect to China's persistent destabilization of global security?
You're assuming the "international community" isn't in on the game.
Posted by: Robert Crawford ||
11/13/2004 16:53 Comments ||
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#6
You're assuming the "international community" isn't in on the game.
Attempting to thwart America's well-deserved superpower status by facilitating China's expansionism is like releasing a rabid wolf to rid an occupied nursery school of mice.
Talk about a cure being far worse than the disease. This is yet another case where survivors would envy the dead.
#7
I wonder what would have happened if the Japanese had maneuvered a sub into 'China's territorial waters'? I'll tell ya...they'd be gulping seawater at the bottom or taken to island like the American EP-3 surveillance plane was; and disassembled!
We're all going to be eating rice and using chop sticks by 2010 if China's hegemony isn't checked.
#8
The Chinese appear to have done much better than the Soviets on that whole selling them the rope to hang us with thing. A good part of our business and foreign policy elite are as in on the game as anyone.
Posted by: Dar ||
11/13/2004 16:49 Comments ||
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#17
Kerry got a cold from a CIA agent he took into Cambodia.
Posted by: Robert Crawford ||
11/13/2004 16:51 Comments ||
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#18
Glad Cheney's OK. If the worst had happened, the House Speaker doesn't become VP, but is next in line for the Presidency until a new VP is appointed by the President and confirmed by both houses of Congress. An appointment between now and January 20 would only stand until the end of the first GWB term, but the Electoral College votes separately on President and VP, so the replacement could be voted in for the coming term as if he had been on the ticket last week.
Carl Albert was a heartbeat away for a couple different periods of a few weeks in '74 after the Agnew and Nixon resignations. As a Democrat next in line to Republican presidents, he announced that if circumstances forced him to assume the office he would resign immediately after a Republican Vice President was confirmed.
Ohfergawdsake. And John Quincy Adams was selected not elected. Give it up, why dontcha?
Democratic challenger Sen. John Kerry has conceded, President Bush has laid out his plans for a second term and New Mexico still does not know who won the election in the sparsely populated state.
Does anybody who doesn't spend 23 hours a day on DemocraticUnderground give a rat's patou?
New Mexico is the only state that does not have a clear-cut winner in the presidential vote, and state officials were red-faced over the slow count. The state had vowed to speed up counting ballots after it took about a month to tally the vote in the 2000 presidential race, where Democrat Al Gore beat Bush by 366 votes.
That worked well, didn't it?
Bush has about 373,000 votes to 365,000 for Kerry with most of the ballots counted, and several media outlets have projected Bush winning New Mexico's five electoral votes. On Friday, all of New Mexico's counties had to complete a count in their regions, but one rural county still had problems and did not meet the deadline.
"Curly, what comes after 4,978?"
"I dunno, Slim. I've never counted that high."
The secretary of state's office said Bush's lead over Kerry has narrowed to about 6,800 votes, according to initial tallies of the provisional ballots submitted to the office on Friday.
That prob'ly means a recount will be called for...
The main problems this time were the narrow margin between Bush and Kerry, troubles sorting through provisional ballots and not learning from the 2000 count, critics said. It will still take more than 10 days to find out who took the last state up for grabs in the Nov. 2 election. "I will not be declaring a winner until Nov. 23," said New Mexico Secretary of State Rebecca Vigil-Giron.
Let us know if anything happens, okay, Becky? And don't let us know if nothing happens.
About 750,000 people voted in New Mexico, and Republicans said money that should have gone to getting the vote counted ended up in a marketing campaign aimed at getting out the vote in the state run by Democratic Gov. Bill Richardson.
"Well, hell! The money was just sitting there, and nobody was using it..."
"The counties were unprepared for the volume of voters because the money wasn't there," said New Mexico Republican Party Executive Director Greg Graves.
That makes sense. Not a lot of sense, but sense. Of a sort.
Posted by: Anonymoose ||
11/13/2004 11:03:50 AM ||
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#1
Bill Richards attempt at shenangans to grab NM for the Dems have come unraveled.
#2
Richardson promised NM to the Dems and is embarrassed that he can't "dig up" enough votes to carry it out. Daley would be embarrassed for the guy
Posted by: Frank G ||
11/13/2004 11:57 Comments ||
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#3
Frank G - They have to be finished with the Indian burial grounds by Wednesday. Only 1000 provisional votes left, and a 6000 vote lead for "W". Seems they need a powerful Navajo shaman to pull those other votes out of the ground...
Voter from the spirit world casts stone ballot for John Kerry, on Nov 2. Gov Richardson is going all the way to see that this vote is counted. He'll only need 6099 more...
#5
I guess Richardson believed that NM could make the difference in these elections. Jeez, how do they count?
"Ok Wilma, look at this ballot."
"Oh George, it looks cute, but can we have coffee first?"
"Sure Wilma, how about some cake to go along with it?"
....
2 hours later
"That ballot is still sitting here Wilma."
"Oh George, I think I forgot to water the flowers at home. Can we look at that ballot tomorrow?"
"Sure Wilma, after all there are 700000 to go..."
The Swift Boat and POWs for the Truth had been considering standing down, stating as accomplished their mission to defeat John Kerry in the presidential election of 2004. But now what? If John Kerry is going to start acting like Freddy Krueger, what should the Swift Vets and POWs do?
Not to worry. Hillary will kill his candidacy in the name of the moonbat left.
Pope John Paul on Saturday urged Christians to be committed to seeking unity of their divided Churches but, in a reference to homosexual clergy in the Anglican communion, said new ethical obstacles had surfaced. At a vespers service in St Peter's Basilica to mark the 40th anniversary of a Second Vatican Council document on ecumenism, the 84-year-old Polish Pope said the commitment to unity should infect ordinary Christians and not just be a matter for experts. "Unfortunately, we are faced with new problems, especially those of an ethical nature, where new divisions which impede a common witness have sprouted," he said to some 7,000 people inside the basilica.
This was a clear reference to the crisis currently besieging the Anglican communion after the Episcopalian Church in the United States appointed an openly gay bishop in New Hampshire. The 70-million-member Anglican Church, which split from Rome in 1534, has been divided over whether to ordain openly homosexual men and whether to bless same-sex marriages. It was sparked last year by the appointment by U.S. Anglicans of Gene Robinson as their first openly gay bishop. Traditionalist Anglicans, particularly the Africans, have denounced the move. They threaten to break with churches that bless same-sex unions and are considering ways to redraw the Anglican world map to escape liberal provinces. Last month, Anglican leaders held a summit in London in an attempt to stop their loose association of Churches falling apart over the issue. They urged North American Episcopalians to ban same-sex marriages and the consecration of gay bishops. They asked the liberals, based in Canada and the United States, to apologize and promise it would not happen again. As has become customary recently, an aide read part of the sermon for the Pope, who suffers from Parkinson's disease and sometimes has difficulty pronouncing his words. The service was attended by representatives of Anglican and Protestant Churches as well as members of the Orthodox Church, which split from Rome in the Great Schism of 1054.
I don't share the Schadenfreud that everybody else seems to be feeling on the Frenchies' predicament. I don't like it when the women and kiddies are subjected to abuse and atrocity. Most of them are merely running businesses and trying to make a go of things. When they got there, Ivory Coast was a mostly civilized place and now the ground's fallen out from under them.
On the other hand, I'm feeling more and more contempt for Chirac's subtle strategy of taking sides in the country's internal problems, backing the rebels, and then flexing his Francomuscles by banging the country's air force and besieging Gbagbo's house. They're leaving with their tails between their legs and they've totally screwed up their citizens' interests within Ivory Coast. Brilliant. Just brilliant.
Frightened foreigners kept packing into Ivory Coast's international airport Saturday to be evacuated home, despite promises by President Laurent Gbagbo's government to protect them after a surge of anti-Western violence. France, the West African nation's colonial ruler, and other countries have flown out more than 3,300 foreigners — including Americans — since Wednesday, embassy officials said, in what they expect will be one of the largest evacuations from Africa in post-independence times. Gbagbo's office issued a statement late Friday urging foreigners to stay, saying it was taking steps to assure their safety. But after more than two years of intermittent civil war, many Westerners were skeptical of Gbagbo's assurances. "This is the lull before the storm," said a French businessman working in Ivory Coast's lucrative cocoa industry, who gave his name only as Olivier. He spoke by telephone from the coastal town of Bassam, where he said just 25 of 175 expatriates remained.
Busloads of Westerners continued to pull up to Abidjan's airport, under heavy French guard, to catch flights home. Most were French, but the evacuees also included hundreds of Britons and scores of people from the United States, Spain, Germany, the Netherlands and other countries. The mayhem erupted Nov. 6 when Ivory Coast warplanes struck a French position, killing nine French peacekeepers and an American aid worker, amid a series of government bombardments on the rebel-held north. The attacks broke a cease-fire that was more than a year old. France retaliated by wiping out the country's tiny air force, sparking an uprising by loyalist youths in the south who took to the streets of Abidjan and other cities armed with machetes, iron bars and clubs.
Yep. That worked well.
Posted by: Fred ||
11/13/2004 10:32:20 AM ||
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Gold prices simmered just below 16-year highs in Europe on Friday, buoyed by a weak dollar which could soon see bullion at $450/oz or above, traders said. Platinum also perked up after speculative buying in the Far East, scoring its highest since early September during London's morning fixing session. Platinum was fixed in London at $868.00 an ounce, while spot rose to $865.00/870.00 an ounce from New York's $850.50/855.50. Platinum could reach $900.00 real soon! Copper prices @$139.5 & Silver @$7.62 continue to climb.
By 1151 GMT, spot gold was quoted at $436.10/436.60 a troy ounce, up from New York's late quote on Thursday of $434.35/435.10 and not far from Wednesday's 16 year peak of $437.25. Traders were now looking for gold to target $450 an ounce, a level last visited in June 1988, with some touting $465 and above as a possibility. Gold last saw prices above $500 in mid-December 1987. Palladium was little changed at $211.00/215.00 from $212.0/217.00, while silver firmed to $7.50/7.53 from $7.43/7.46 .
(back in 1999 Palladium rocketed to over 1k an ounce due to supply problems in Russia.
Posted by: Mark Espinola ||
11/13/2004 7:31:57 AM ||
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#1
Gold prices remain near 30 year lows would be more accurate. The US dollar is declining and the price of gold in USD is just reflecting that decline.
#5
Okay, look at this chart and tell me why I should care.
Posted by: Tom ||
11/13/2004 11:14 Comments ||
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#6
We could have bought gold almost anytime between 1987 and 1996, sold it this morning, and had a lackluster overall return. And if we bought it in 1980 -- when the media was really hyped up about it -- we would have really been screwed. One more example of why the MSM is not our friend. I'm beginning to think that the folks who go to journalism school are the ones not bright enough to be doctors, lawyers, engineers, accountants, or even politicians.
Posted by: Tom ||
11/13/2004 11:25 Comments ||
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#7
Shipman: âI thought the Palladium jump was due to the nutty professors who used it in COLD FUSION?â
After a decade of careful research, proponents of Cold Fusion have built a significantly strong case that the DOE is re-evaluating Cold Fusion science. The ânuttyâ professors may yet be proven correct.
#10
After a decade of careful research, proponents of Cold Fusion have built a significantly strong case that the DOE is re-evaluating Cold Fusion science.
Please tell me it has nothing to do with pions.
Posted by: Robert Crawford ||
11/13/2004 16:25 Comments ||
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A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
Frightened foreigners kept packing into Ivory Coast's international airport Saturday to be evacuated home, despite promises by President Laurent Gbagbo's government to protect them after a surge of anti-Western violence. France, the West African nation's colonial ruler, and other countries have flown out more than 3,300 foreigners — including Americans — since Wednesday, embassy officials said, in what they expect will be one of the largest evacuations from Africa in post-independence times. Gbagbo's office issued a statement late Friday urging foreigners to stay, saying it was taking steps to assure their safety. But after more than two years of intermittent civil war, many Westerners were skeptical of Gbagbo's assurances. "This is the lull before the storm," said a French businessman working in Ivory Coast's lucrative cocoa industry, who gave his name only as Olivier. He spoke by telephone from the coastal town of Bassam, where he said just 25 of 175 expatriates remained.
