POTTER VALLEY, Calif. A Mendocino County woman who was trying to kill mice in her trailer with a gun ended up shooting herself and another person.
The 43-year-old woman pulled out her .44-caliber Magnum revolver after she saw the mice scurrying across the floor of her trailer on Highway 20 in Potter Valley, sheriff's officials said. "This is the most powerful handgun in the world; take your head clean off. So ask yourself, do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, Mickey?"
"Eeek!"
"Squeek!"
"She's psycho, and she's got a gun!"
"Cats I can deal with, but not this!"
"Scurry! Hurry!"
"Feets don't fail me now!"
But she accidentally dropped the gun, "Ooopsies!"
which went off as it struck the floor. BANG!
The bullet went through the woman's kneecap, "Ow! Oweeee!"
bounced off the keys sitting on the belt loop of a 42-year-old man in the trailer Zing!
and grazed the man's groin "Egads! I've gone from baritone to mezzo soprano! My opera career is ruined!"
before ending up in his coin pocket. Ka-CHING!
Authorities did not release the shooting victims' names. And now for the punch line:
The mice escaped the shooting unharmed.
Posted by: Mike ||
07/09/2008 09:20 ||
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#11
So, do Bison fart less methane? 'cuz when they were roaming the prairie in millions for all those years before they were brought to near extinction, were they contributing to global warming? Maybe we should thank the western settlers for removing such a horrible threat to us.
A teenager was stunned to find that a baby bat had been curled up inside her bra for five hours - as she was wearing it. Abbie Hawkins, a hotel receptionist, thought her mobile phone was ringing when she felt vibrations coming from her clothes. But it was only the Bat Phone.
But she later discovered the tiny creature tucked away in the padded pocket of her underwear.
As staff and colleagues crowded around, Miss Hawkins, 19, produced the frightened bat, which was the size of her hand.
That's not 'tiny', and I'd like to know just how much extra room there was in there ...
She said: "Once I realised it was a bat I was shocked, but then I felt quite sorry for it really. It looked very snug in there and I thought how mean I was for disturbing it."
Miss Hawkins said she got dressed at 7:30am and arrived for work at the Holiday Inn Norwich North, near Norwich International Airport without noticing anything unusual. "When I was driving to work I felt a slight vibration but I thought it was just my mobile phone in my jacket pocket," she said. Then the Bat Phone went off.
It was not until her lunch break, at midday when she felt a strange movement inside her bra, which had been hanging on her washing line the previous night. "I plucked up the courage to investigate and I pulled out a little baby bat. I just lost my breath when I saw it and I did not know what it was at first," she said.
The teenager's general manager freed the bat in the hotel garden. You are FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Go in Peace, Little One!! And carry good tidings from Holiday Inn to your fellow creatures.
"I keep thinking how could I have not known it was there?" Miss Hawkins said. "I will certainly be checking my bras every morning from now on." Damned stowaways, anyway.
Jaime Eastham, of the Bat Conservation Trust, said they had never heard of a bat being found in a bra before. But she said the animals roost anywhere that appears dark and safe.
Posted by: Alaska Paul ||
07/09/2008 14:40 ||
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#1
not touching that last line; no sirree bob.....
#2
I work with a lady who didn't know she had a fish in her bathing suit until she went inside to take a shower. It had been in there for about 6 hours.
Posted by: Deacon Blues ||
07/09/2008 15:22 Comments ||
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#3
The only carriers of rabies believed to exist in the British Isles are bats. I sure hope Abbie has the bat tested for rabies, otherwise some months from now she could get her name in world news again. In the USA about 90% of all human rabies since 1980 has come from rabid bats.
#6
Then again there is the old joke about the guy who was transformed after being bitten by a bat. But it was just a fruit bat, so he became one of the living dead vegetarians.
Police suspect a serial rabbit killer in Germany may be using satellite images like those available on Google Earth to locate victims before draining their blood.
Up to 40 rabbits have been killed in Dortmund and Witten and in almost all the attacks the killer decapitates the pets and bleeds them dry.
Volker Schuette, one of a special team of five officers hunting the killer, warned that many animals had been snatched from cages away from public view, suggesting the killer might be using satellite images from the internet to track them down.
Now pet owners are being forced to take extreme measures, protecting their rabbits with locks and alarms and hiding them in cellars or garages to confound the killer.
One woman, Julia Perkun, has built a secret bunny bunker for her 13 rabbits in woodland on the edge of Witten.
"This place isn't visible from the street," Mrs Perkun told the BBC. "I try not to tell anyone where this place is. People know that I have rabbits, but I don't tell anyone where this place is, so I hope my rabbits are safe."
Ruhr Valley police said they feared that the assassin could be a Satanist, or Satanists, looking for blood for ungodly rituals.
Mr Schuette, said: "It's always the same. Detectives find the rabbit lying dead in a hutch.
"An unknown person has cut off the head and drained off the blood in a box or a bottle. So we find no blood and no head."
While the rabbit corpses are being examined for traces of DNA and 300 people have been questioned, police admit they still have no idea who is doing the decapitating. But the effects of the murderous spree on pet owners are clear.
Posted by: Deacon Blues ||
07/09/2008 10:48 Comments ||
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#3
Hey, sarge, we're getting more questions on the rabbit serial killer. What do I tell em?
I dunno. Wait. Tell them he's using...Google Earth. Yeah! That's the ticket! Act like it's some kind of big secret...
#10
Google Earth is good enough to locate properties you can access from farm or woodland. Although, not as good as a 1 inch/1 mile topographic map. Maybe, people can't read maps any more.
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
