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US and Iraqi forces kill 250 militants in Najaf
Today's Headlines
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Page 5: Russia-Former Soviet Union
5 00:00 Shipman [6] 
4 00:00 Anonymoose [2] 
11 00:00 Sgt. D.T. [2] 
4 00:00 USN, ret. [5] 
4 00:00 PlanetDan [9] 
Page 1: WoT Operations
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2 00:00 Old Patriot [7]
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22 00:00 Sneaze Shaiting3550 [7]
1 00:00 Excalibur [3]
26 00:00 Shipman [7]
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26 00:00 Skidmark [10]
4 00:00 Old Patriot [3]
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2 00:00 Frank G [4]
5 00:00 Shipman [3]
Page 2: WoT Background
10 00:00 ed [2]
9 00:00 Old Patriot [7]
2 00:00 Anguper Hupomosing9418 [1]
3 00:00 trailing wife [6]
8 00:00 DMFD [2]
11 00:00 Old Patriot [3]
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4 00:00 Old Patriot [8]
5 00:00 trailing wife [8]
1 00:00 tu3031 [2]
17 00:00 BA [2]
6 00:00 trailing wife [2]
1 00:00 Moe Dahlan [2]
1 00:00 Anguper Hupomosing9418 [2]
7 00:00 mojo [6]
1 00:00 Elmavitch Threretch5742 [2]
2 00:00 JosephMendiola [2]
4 00:00 Redneck Jim [2]
6 00:00 JosephMendiola [6]
8 00:00 Shieldwolf [2]
4 00:00 ed [2]
1 00:00 Crinens Claviting2862 [6]
Page 3: Non-WoT
6 00:00 JosephMendiola [3]
2 00:00 Redneck Jim [4]
8 00:00 tu3031 [3]
10 00:00 BA [5]
8 00:00 BA [4]
9 00:00 john [6]
11 00:00 BA [2]
3 00:00 rhodesiafever [3]
9 00:00 BA [9]
6 00:00 ed [4]
Page 4: Opinion
4 00:00 Jumble Thraiter8446 [7]
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8 00:00 Broadhead6 [2]
2 00:00 JosephMendiola [3]
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26 00:00 USN, ret. [3]
-Lurid Crime Tales-
Old Guys Tackle Armed Church Robbers
Five men old enough to qualify for senior-citizen discounts foiled an armed robber and his accomplice this morning during the 8 a.m. Mass at Christ the King Church on E. Livingston Avenue.

One churchgoer ended up at Grant Medical Center after being pistol-whipped in the back of the church while services for about 150 went on uninterrupted on the altar. "Our parishioners are not about to let anyone defile their church," said the Rev. Michael Lumpe, Christ the King pastor. "Kudos to those who didn't just sit and let it happen."

With parishioners' help, Columbus police arrested Wendell K. Hollingsworth, 43, of Hilliard, and Celeste M. Smith, 51, of the South Side, before 9 a.m. and charged them with aggravated robbery.

Bob, 67, of the East Side, was sitting with his wife, Carol, in the fifth row of the church when he heard an ex-nun behind him scream that a woman was trying to steal her coat. (The Dispatch is not printing their last name because the family is concerned about reprisals.) Bob turned and saw Smith in a church pew, grabbing purses from the seats in front of her and stuffing them in a plastic bag.

He ran to the back of the church, grabbed Smith by the shoulders and began leading her to the foyer. Hollingsworth, who had also been in the church, waved a gun in the air above his head and announced, "This is a robbery," according to Columbus police.

Hollingsworth demanded that Bob release Smith. When he refused, Hollingsworth struck him several times in the head until he released the woman.

Hollingsworth waved the gun in the air a second time, demanding money. When Hollingsworth pointed the loaded, Russian handgun at his chest, Bob raised his hands in the air and, "I said, 'I give up.'" Moments later, four other parishioners "came through the doors like football players," Carol said. They tackled Hollingsworth and piled on top of him as he squirmed to get free. The four, who were between their late 50s and early 70s, stayed atop Hollingsworth until police arrived moments later.

"One guy, I betcha in his 70s, was laying into the bad guy with no fear at all," Bob said. "Those four were heroes. They knew he had a gun."
Tackled the miscreant and thumped him good. Excellent!
As for the rest of the congregation, most are elderly and didn't hear the goings on, Bob and Carol said. Nonetheless, enough parishioners had called 911 from their church pews that circuits overloaded and Carol said her call couldn't get through. Parishioners watched Smith run one street south to Dover Road where police arrested her.

Smith pleaded guilty in 2004 to forgery, receiving stolen property and theft. Hollingsworth was arrested 12 times between 1981 and 1992 on charges including aggravated burglary, kidnapping, robbery and safecracking.
Could we perhaps keep them in prison for a while this time?
Bob received eight staples for a head wound and five stitches for a gash on his neck. He said he'll be back in the pew he's used since he joined the parish in 1984. "It was just a sad situation, a very sad situation that this would happen in a church," he said.

The robbery began late in the Mass, after the members of the congregation had contributed their weekly offerings. Carol said that because Smith and Hollingsworth didn't know to demand money from the collection plate, "You could tell they weren't churchgoing people."
Posted by: Anonymoose || 01/29/2007 00:00 || Comments || Link || [2 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Carol said that because Smith and Hollingsworth didn't know to demand money from the collection plate, "You could tell they weren't churchgoing people."

Carol doesn't miss much, does she? :-)
Posted by: gorb || 01/29/2007 1:28 Comments || Top||

#2  The Ohio Militia is always on duty.
Posted by: Anguper Hupomosing9418 || 01/29/2007 3:34 Comments || Top||

#3  Hollingsworth was arrested 12 times between 1981 and 1992 on charges including aggravated burglary, kidnapping, robbery and safecracking.

Hang him!
Posted by: Besoeker || 01/29/2007 3:51 Comments || Top||

#4  Father Lumpe is very popular in the Columbus Diocese. What makes me even more angry/frustrated is that Fr. Lumpe and the great folks of his parish (not a wealthy parish) would have given these thieves just about anything if they had asked for help. But when they tried to stick them up in God's house...these thieves messed with the wrong people.
Posted by: Thraviper Thriger1738 || 01/29/2007 6:26 Comments || Top||

#5  As for the rest of the congregation, most are elderly and didn't hear the goings on

So that's ok, then. Actually, likely a goodly proportion of them are jealous that they missed the fun.
Posted by: trailing wife || 01/29/2007 6:53 Comments || Top||

#6  The robbery began late in the Mass, after the members of the congregation had contributed their weekly offerings

I can't rememeber the order of the Mass anymore but Jeebus - Every good Catholic knows that someone who arrives after the consecration has not really attended Mass.

These boneheads were asking for it.....


Barely off topic but just for you OldSpook -

A penitent has stepped into the confessional, shuts the door and begins to confess - "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. . . " The man recounts his sins to the priest and saves the big one for last - "and Father, I killed a man."

The priest nods his head, reflects for a moment and says "My son, the Lord has heard your petition for forgivness and for your penance, you must say three rosarys."

The man is incredulous at his light punishment. "WHAT!! Father, you don't understand! I killed a man in cold blood."

The priest says "I understand but the love of our Lord is so great that he absolves you of this sin."

The man is now very upset "Father, this is not right, I killed a man, I broke the fifth commandment. You don't understand - Haven't you ever killed a man before?!"

The priest answered quickly "Oh no, my son - I'm a Franciscan, not a Jesuit."

Try the veal and don't forget to tip your servers.

I'm sorry Fred/mods but I've been waiting for 25 years to tell that joke to someone who would get it.
Posted by: GORT || 01/29/2007 8:38 Comments || Top||

#7  "One guy, I betcha in his 70s, was laying into the bad guy with no fear at all," Bob said. "Those four were heroes. They knew he had a gun."

Dumb robbers. If they had been carrying mortars and planning to fire them at random into the suburbs the BBC would have accused these old gents of a war crime.
Posted by: Excalibur || 01/29/2007 9:36 Comments || Top||

#8  You could tell they weren't churchgoing people."

Carol may not be a Rantburger, but I'd say she has the lead for Understated Snark of the Week.

Three cheers for the spunky old geezers!
Posted by: SteveS || 01/29/2007 15:11 Comments || Top||

#9  Good joke GORT. As the product of a Jesuit education in high school and college, I was well prepared for the rigors of Parris Island. On my first day in high school the Jesuits made it clear we were no longer in the care of the kindly nuns, just as my D.I made it clear when I stepped off the bus that I was no longer at home with mommy.
Posted by: Sgt. D.T. || 01/29/2007 18:03 Comments || Top||

#10  GORT: technical note. Priests are not members of holy orders. And monks do not generally hear confessions of the general public.

So the punchline would be "...I'm a priest, not a Jesuit."
Posted by: Anonymoose || 01/29/2007 18:08 Comments || Top||

#11  Anymoose, "Holy Orders" is the sacrament by which one is ordained a priest. Fransciscans are an order, a group recognized and approved by the Church, which has priests. Not all Franciscans are monks, although someone commonly called a monk might be a priest, having recieved Holy Orders.
Posted by: Sgt. D.T. || 01/29/2007 21:34 Comments || Top||


-Short Attention Span Theater-
Police play game of cat and mouse
Posted by: anonymous5089 || 01/29/2007 05:50 || Comments || Link || [2 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Now that is just plain hilarious.
Posted by: Redneck Jim || 01/29/2007 9:44 Comments || Top||

#2  Hee, hee, hee. Fun part is the cat solved the problem while everone was wringing their hands.
Posted by: Shipman || 01/29/2007 12:55 Comments || Top||

#3  BARBARO put down fluffy bunny crowd angry have hope in new financier for AIRAMERICA =USR/USSA < LLL CLINTON/OSAMA/MSM new plan to surrender hegemony USSR < CHINA defeat Bush Conservatism no support but support for Bush WoT BUSH MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR NEXT 9/11/HIROSHIMA = RISE OF THE CLINTONISTAS.

Sorry, been jonesin for a Mendiola post.
Posted by: Mike N. || 01/29/2007 18:17 Comments || Top||

#4  Very NSFW Tom and Jerry Pic:

http://de.fishki.net/picsu/podb114_33.jpg
Posted by: Anonymoose || 01/29/2007 18:17 Comments || Top||


Son-in-law elopes with mother-in-law
A young woman in India wants her husband back, even though he eloped with her mother, the Indo-Asian News Service reported. The local Family Counseling Center in Sehore said the woman approached them after her husband made clear his intentions on marrying the mother-in-law, who is 15 years older. "A young woman at the nearby Karadiya Chhitu village was married to Kalapipal's Pappu Malviya who began living at his in-laws' place after the wedding. A few days later, he eloped with his mother-in-law and they are together in Bhopal," said the center President Rajkumar Gupta. The case is reportedly pending for the next month.
Posted by: Fred || 01/29/2007 00:00 || Comments || Link || [5 views] Top|| File under:

#1  well this should pull in a lot of viewers for whoever the indian version of jerry springer is over there.
Posted by: Broadhead6 || 01/29/2007 2:04 Comments || Top||

#2  I guess he really WAS her favorite son-in-law eh!
Posted by: Besoeker || 01/29/2007 3:54 Comments || Top||

#3  Indian MILF attack!
Posted by: Frank G || 01/29/2007 8:17 Comments || Top||

#4  In certain parts of the good ol' US of A, this is considered appropriate behavior.......
Posted by: USN, ret. || 01/29/2007 22:46 Comments || Top||


Arabia
Lying leads Saudi court to order divorce
A Saudi court appeal court has backed the ruling of a lower court to force a couple to divorce against their will, the pair’s lawyer said on Sunday.

Abdul-Rahman Al-Lahem said in a statement that the appeals court in Riyadh “has supported the divorce because of ‘inappropriate lineage’.” The family of the Saudi woman, Fatima, began legal action in 2005, saying that her husband was not of sufficiently prestigious tribal stock to marry her, adding that he had lied about his tribal background. Fatima and her two children were then imprisoned for refusing to return to her family’s custody after the lower court first annulled the marriage. But Lahem said that the ruling contradicted the principles of Sharia law, which objects to discrimination on the basis of colour, nationality and race. The issue was dramatised in a popular comedy show aired last October that ridiculed the idea of tribal superiority.
Posted by: Fred || 01/29/2007 00:00 || Comments || Link || [9 views] Top|| File under:

#1  But Lahem said that the ruling contradicted the principles of Sharia law, which objects to discrimination on the basis of colour, nationality and race.

Perhaps that idea ought to be shared with the more radical elements.
Posted by: gorb || 01/29/2007 1:26 Comments || Top||

#2  "has supported the divorce because of inappropriate lineage"
Inappropriate? She shudda married her first cousin. Ah,yes, the religion of peace and tolerance.
Posted by: GK || 01/29/2007 8:44 Comments || Top||

#3  " Fatima and her two children were then imprisoned for refusing to return to her family’s custody ..."

Just about says it all with regards to a woman's place in that barbaric culture don't it?
Posted by: AlanC || 01/29/2007 11:08 Comments || Top||

#4  The family of the Saudi woman, Fatima, began legal action in 2005, saying that her husband was not of sufficiently prestigious tribal stock to marry her

jeez! what frikkin century is this, anyway!?!?!
Posted by: PlanetDan || 01/29/2007 17:14 Comments || Top||


International-UN-NGOs
Fantasy Island
Posted by: anonymous5089 || 01/29/2007 10:42 || Comments || Link || [6 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Dammit I was halfway through before I realized it was satire.
Posted by: Omalet Flump5682 || 01/29/2007 15:21 Comments || Top||

#2  I wonder if they all have numbers, like Patrick Magoohan did...
Posted by: tu3031 || 01/29/2007 15:32 Comments || Top||

#3  The only number needed is 7, Super.
Posted by: Shipman || 01/29/2007 16:19 Comments || Top||

#4  Number 6, Shipman. How soon they forget.
Posted by: Eric Jablow || 01/29/2007 18:43 Comments || Top||

#5  Eric, that's a Lotus Super 7, 6 is a driving.
Posted by: Shipman || 01/29/2007 22:41 Comments || Top||



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Meet the Mods
In no particular order...
Steve White
Seafarious
tu3031
badanov
sherry
ryuge
GolfBravoUSMC
Bright Pebbles
trailing wife
Gloria
Fred
Besoeker
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Two weeks of WOT
Mon 2007-01-29
  US and Iraqi forces kill 250 militants in Najaf
Sun 2007-01-28
  21 dead in festive Gaza weekend
Sat 2007-01-27
  Salafist Group renamed "Al-Qaeda in Islamic Maghreb"
Fri 2007-01-26
  US Troops Now Directed To: 'Catch Or Kill Iranian Agents'
Thu 2007-01-25
  Bali bomber hurt in Filipino gunfight
Wed 2007-01-24
  Beirut burns as Hezbollah strike explodes into sectarian violence
Tue 2007-01-23
  100 killed in Iraq market bombings
Mon 2007-01-22
  3,200 new US troops arrive in Baghdad
Sun 2007-01-21
  Two South Africans accused of Al-Qaeda links
Sat 2007-01-20
  Shootout near presidential palace in Mog
Fri 2007-01-19
  Tater aide arrested in Baghdad
Thu 2007-01-18
  Mullah Hanif sez Mullah Omar lives in Quetta
Wed 2007-01-17
  Halutz quits
Tue 2007-01-16
  Yemen kills al-Qaeda fugitive
Mon 2007-01-15
  Barzan and al-Bandar hanged; Barzan's head pops off


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