Actress Natasha Lyonne, Who?
the star of "American Pie" What?
accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog, How?
turned herself in at a New York court on Friday. I guess that's when and where.
A bench warrant was issued for her arrest in January after Lyonne, who has also appeared in "Blade," and "Scary Movie 2," missed four court hearings. "They can't make me go to court!"
"They can make you wish you had."
The 27-year-old faced a number of charges including criminal mischief, harassment and trespassing after accusations she threatened to sexually molest her former neighbor's dog and ripped a mirror off the wall during a 2004 argument. At the Manhattan Criminal Court appearance, drug counselor Heather Hayes said Lyonne had completed an in-patient drug program in February and continued to attend outpatient rehabilitation groups. Comes as a surprise, huh? I mean, who'da ever suspected?
Judge Anthony Ferrara said the charges would be dropped if the actress stayed out of trouble for the next six months. "Hey, no problem! I'll just spend the time hangin' with Paris and Britney and Lindsay. They'll look out for me!"
In the court complaint, Lyonne's former roommate claimed Lyonne trashed their apartment and then banged on a neighbor's door, rushed into that apartment and picked up her dog, telling the woman, "I'm going to sexually molest your dog." Bet those aren't the words she actually used...
Lyonne pleaded guilty in 2002 to driving under the influence of alcohol in Miami. She was fined, sentenced to six months probation and 50 hours community service. "Imagine there's no dipshits..."
Posted by: Fred ||
12/16/2006 09:39 ||
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#1
Ah, all is clear now.
Problem,
Unknown Actress, failing career,
Solution,
Create a newsworthy scene, as blatent as possible, get headlines, jumpstart career (Supposedly)
Real Result,
General Public says "Who" and continues to ignore her, NOT desired result.
Posted by: Redneck Jim ||
12/16/2006 10:14 Comments ||
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#2
"American Pie" actress threatened to sexually molest dog
#9
Meanwhile, the 6th "Rocky" movie is opening to great reviews. Stallone - 60 years old - makes a comeback against a young fighter. Believe it or not!
#11
Comeon, who among us hasn't threatened to molest (or worse) a neighbor's pet?
Posted by: ed ||
12/16/2006 17:50 Comments ||
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#12
Nah, gromky, it's more interesting to find out the breed of dog than the gender. Especially if the pup in question is part doberman or pit bull....
Which brings me to one of my favorite tasteless dog jokes......
Remember, it's only alleged. Here, hold my beer...
No probs. I get a turn when you're done ...
HUTCHINSON, Kan. Two children have been removed from their home after a man reportedly ran a clothes dryer with the toddlers inside. A 3-year-old boy was treated for second-degree burns, but a 2-year-old girl was not injured after the Nov. 28 incident, the Reno County district attorney's office said.
Aron J. Pritchard, 27, was charged Tuesday with one felony count of child abuse and another of aggravated endangering a child. Bond was set at $750,000. Police investigators alleged the man stuffed the children into the dryer and turned it on, reportedly after the boy wet his pants. The boy was not treated for his injuries until he was taken into protective custody on Dec. 6, the district attorney's office said in a news release.
In a news release Wednesday, Reno County Prosecutor Keith Schroeder said no further information would be immediately released in the case. But he told The Hutchinson News on Tuesday that he did not know how long the children were in the dryer.
Pritchard and a cousin were arrested in late November when police found the two men on top of a grain elevator in Hutchinson, with backpacks full of beer and alcohol.
Please permit me to connect this incident to another one almost as bad but more like that recent thread; The one about how things have changed in the last 40 years, or so (anyone who posts the link gets a prize.)
One of the funniest stories my born-again fundamentalist Christian business partner ever told me was about how he gave his little brother a "spin" in the dryer. All pissed off he was and a really thoughtless young guy to boot. This bloke grabbed his younger brother and packed him in in the drum for a "tumble" dry session. ("Tumble", mind you, no actual heat applied.)
It was impossible not to laugh while my partner grinningly told me about how, during the first few revolutions or dozen so, it kinda sounded like there was a "loose pair of sneakers in there."
When he described how his sobbing wee sibling emerged from the bin, only to hear the kid emphatically demand another go 'round, that almost doubled me up.
This Pritchard maggot needs a tumbling session with some complimentary cinder blocks.
#2
About the time of the Mercury project my brothers and I determined that the front loading Whirlpool dryer in the basement would make the perfect capsule trainer.
The question was who would go first? Somehow they convinced me that I would make the best astronaut..... and they promised not to turn it on.
As I entered the "capsule" with my football helmet on the door slammed shut accompanied by muffled snickers from the outside. The next sound was the clicking of the timer nob turning.
I can't say how I managed to push the two of them off the door and get out. They described me as being like the cat when he was dropped into the bath tub.
#3
We used to do this when i was little, a lot of fun, just like a State Fair ride.
Posted by: Redneck Jim ||
12/16/2006 9:03 Comments ||
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Yeah Project Gemini kinda had a bad effect on our wildlife too. The Caaaaaaaaaatssssss in Spaaaaaaaace Project immediately comes to mind. Aborted after several splash-down rehearsals in the shower.
ASSATEAGUE ISLAND, Md. -- What do you do when one of your natural treasures starts eating all the others?
That's the National Park Service's dilemma on this storied barrier island. Proof of its problem can be found on a spongy stretch of salt marsh, where one section is fenced off by barbed wire. Inside the fence, the island's native smooth cordgrass is growing thickly, a foot tall. Outside it, the grass is cropped nearly to the roots.
"Inside. Outside. A lot different," said Mark Sturm, a Park Service ecologist, gesturing at the denuded muck. The culprit is obvious: There's only one animal on Assateague that can't get through the fence. "This is all horses," Sturm said.
Yes. Those horses. About 140 wild ponies live on the Maryland half of the island -- less famous than their cousins in Virginia, who star in the annual Chincoteague pony penning, but still a major part of the Assateague mystique.
Now, Park Service officials say, the horse population is eating away at the plants that underpin rare coastal ecosystems here. They're considering a radical solution: selling or relocating as much as a third of the Maryland herd.
Posted by: Mike ||
12/16/2006 07:22 ||
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Dog Food comes to mind, make a profit, but you must do it very quietly.
Posted by: Redneck Jim ||
12/16/2006 10:16 Comments ||
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Issue condoms.
They probably feed the horses in the winter so they won't starve.
Miss USA Tara Conner's crown is safe for now as pageant officials review "behavioral and personal issues" amid reports of bad behavior at bars, FOXNews.com has learned.
Miss USA Tara Conner has not been dethroned," said Paula M. Shugart, president of the Miss Universe Organization, in a statement. "The Miss Universe Organization and Mr. Donald J. Trump will be evaluating her behavioral and personal issues to see what we can do to work with her, and what we will do about her reign going forward. Mr. Trump will make a determination and announcement within the coming week, she said. Trump is an owner of the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants.
The celebrity gossip Web site TMZ.com reported Thursday that executives from both the pageant and its broadcaster, NBC, met Tuesday to discuss reported problems with Kentucky native Conner, 20, and allegations of inappropriate conduct at New York City bars, according to the TMZ report, which cites unidentified sources.
Continued on Page 49
#1
Rules dictate that the first runner-up in this case Miss California, Tamiko Nash would take the Miss USA crown and assume the duties that come with it if the reigning pageant queen is stripped of her title.
Do we really need to use the word strip in this context?
Posted by: The Terminator ||
12/16/2006 9:41 Comments ||
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#5
I wanna grant money to study her perfections.
Okeydokey, RD. I'll take your grant money and use it to conduct an in-depth and extremely detailed millimeter-by-millimeter study of her body using tactile, olfactory, and photographic sensors and scanning systems.
I figure I'll need at least a hundred thou to get started. You can send it to me via PayPal.
DUBAI - The screams were louder than the roar of the engines when more than 100 passengers on board a Saudi plane fought off an invasion by 80 stowaways: mice. Al-Hayat newspaper reported on Friday that the mice escaped from the bag of a traveler on the internal Saudi Arabian Airlines flight and started falling on the heads and scurrying between the feet of panic-stricken passengers. Sissies.
"An hour after it took off from Riyadh, the aircraft was at an altitude of 28,000 feet when passengers were surprised by the mice..." the paper quoted Omar al-Jarrah, an airline official as saying.
The authorities detained the owner of the bag after the aircraft landed in Tabuk, in the north west of the country, on Wednesday to investigate how he had managed to board the aircraft carrying live mice, it said.
Posted by: Steve White ||
12/16/2006 00:00 ||
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"Samuel L. Jackson reprises his role in the thrilling sequel to Snakes on a Plane..."
Rangers in India's Assam state have issued a shoot-on-sight order on a killer rogue elephant named after al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden. Laden has trampled 14 people to death in the past six months in the north-eastern state, officials say. Humans and elephants have come into greater conflict in recent years as man encroaches on jungle territories.
The order came after the rogue bull killed a woman on Wednesday. So far he has eluded hunters. Assam's wildlife warden Chandan Bora said the order had been given to kill the rogue elephant within a week. But he said: "We've hired a licensed hunter to kill the rogue elephant but so far Laden is untraceable.
"The hunter, accompanied by about five forest guards, is still in the jungles trying to hunt down Laden."
Laden was branded a "rogue" - a violent, isolated elephant - in the summer after the deaths reached double figures. He was given his name by villagers in Assam's eastern district of Sonitpur.
Assam sits on the corridor used by Siamese elephants, a corridor that stretches from northern Thailand to the foothills of Bhutan. A similar rogue elephant killed 12 people in a day in 1992 in the same district of Sonitpur.
Posted by: john ||
12/16/2006 18:32 ||
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He was given his name by villagers in Assam's eastern district of Sonitpur.
presumably not muslims ?
Posted by: john ||
12/16/2006 18:36 Comments ||
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New Delhi: When was the last time you heard of a Pakistani approaching the Indian Army for help? Well there you have ex-sepoy Mohammad Boota knocking the doors of Army Headquarters in New Delhi.
A World War-II veteran of the British Indian Army who moved to Pakistan after the Partition, Boota says he was framed in a murder case. His grandson was murdered and his family has been continuously persecuted in his homeland. "They've threatened to kill my great grandson if we don't withdraw the murder charge, says Boota.
Driven by the desire to take his great grandson out of harm's way from his native Sialkot in Pakistan, Boota believes that the Indian Army will accept him as a fellow foot soldier who once fought by their side and lend a helping hand. "I was recruited for India. Pak did not even exist. I fought for India. I come here hoping I'll be helped, he says.
But is Boota betraying Pakistan?
"I don't consider India an enemy, Boota says. He is nostalgic about the Indian Army's Burma campaign in World War-II, during which he was also taken prisoner of war.
Mohammad Boota's sense of affiliation with the Indian Army transcends the obvious boundaries. And it is remarkable that when he seeks justice against all odds, it is the Indian Army he turns to, regarding it as his parent organisation.
Boota wants help for a visa for his great grandson Suleman so that he can travel with him to his adopted country, Britain. But is Boota living in a time warp? He says he's in New Delhi, driven by memories of an Army, which gives it troops, a fair hearing.
Posted by: john ||
12/16/2006 17:55 ||
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Guess life in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan was a disappointment for Mr Boota.
Posted by: john ||
12/16/2006 18:11 Comments ||
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A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
Actress Natasha Lyonne, 
DUBAI - The screams were louder than the roar of the engines when more than 100 passengers on board a Saudi plane fought off an invasion by 80 stowaways: mice. Al-Hayat newspaper reported on Friday that the mice escaped from the bag of a traveler on the internal Saudi Arabian Airlines flight and started falling on the heads and scurrying between the feet of panic-stricken passengers.
New Delhi: When was the last time you heard of a Pakistani approaching the Indian Army for help? Well there you have ex-sepoy Mohammad Boota knocking the doors of Army Headquarters in New Delhi.
