Actress Natasha Lyonne, Who?
the star of "American Pie"
What?
accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog,
How?
turned herself in at a New York court on Friday.
I guess that's when and where.
A bench warrant was issued for her arrest in January after Lyonne, who has also appeared in "Blade," and "Scary Movie 2," missed four court hearings.
"They can't make me go to court!"
"They can make you wish you had."
The 27-year-old faced a number of charges including criminal mischief, harassment and trespassing after accusations she threatened to sexually molest her former neighbor's dog and ripped a mirror off the wall during a 2004 argument. At the Manhattan Criminal Court appearance, drug counselor Heather Hayes said Lyonne had completed an in-patient drug program in February and continued to attend outpatient rehabilitation groups.
Comes as a surprise, huh? I mean, who'da ever suspected?
Judge Anthony Ferrara said the charges would be dropped if the actress stayed out of trouble for the next six months.
"Hey, no problem! I'll just spend the time hangin' with Paris and Britney and Lindsay. They'll look out for me!"
In the court complaint, Lyonne's former roommate claimed Lyonne trashed their apartment and then banged on a neighbor's door, rushed into that apartment and picked up her dog, telling the woman, "I'm going to sexually molest your dog."
Bet those aren't the words she actually used...
Lyonne pleaded guilty in 2002 to driving under the influence of alcohol in Miami. She was fined, sentenced to six months probation and 50 hours community service.
"Imagine there's no dipshits..."
