The Wheels of Justice...
A promise and a prediction. I will do my best not to insert bad puns into this column. I will fail. ...and for good reason.
Houston's 14th Court of Appeals on Tuesday upheld the conviction of a local doctor for indecent exposure. The court rejected the argument by high-profile attorney Dick DeGuerin and his associate Neal Davis that the doctor could not have exposed himself to an undercover cop because that which is alleged to have been exposed is too small to have been seen. Hey, counselor. Ya think we can go with another strategy here maybe?
I'm not naming the doctor because his two innocent children don't deserve the playground abuse that would come both from their father's crime and the defense that he and his attorneys decided to pursue. Nyah, nyah! Ya dad's gotta a small...
The story begins on a Monday afternoon nearly two years ago with two plainclothes vice officers in separate cars looking for perverts in Memorial Park. Geez, Muldoon. How come we never get the strip joints?
One of the officers, Daniel Leal, testified that he noticed that a car was following him and pulled into a parking lot. He said the suspect pulled up next to him and, making eye contact, began fondling himself. Whadda you doing?
My Larry Craig imitation.
Leal said the man, wearing a dress shirt, tie and dress pants, got out of his car and approached him. He said the man asked him if he wanted to come sit in his car, but Leal said he'd rather go over to a wooded area. Leal said that, in the woods, the man pulled up his T-shirt and massaged his abdomen, then the suspect started undoing his own pants but stopped when two men walked nearby. Ah...decorum.
At Leal's suggestion, they moved to a spot behind a nearby men's room, where the doctor asked Leal to "Let me see." Leal says he declined but said, "You let me see." No. You let me see.
No. You let me see.
No. You let me see.
No. You let....
Leal says the doctor did, whereupon Leal put him under arrest and was joined by his partner. Slap the braclets on him, Muldoon!
At trial the doctor gave a considerably different version. He said he went to the park during a 20-minute work break and just wanted to talk to someone. I'm soooooo lonely...
He said Leal was the first one to make eye contact, they both got out of their cars at the same time and he neither fondled nor exposed himself. He said he agreed to go into the woods at Leal's suggestion just to continue a conversation in which they talked about "usual stuff" such as marriage and family. Yeah...marriage. And...family! That's the ticket!
He said Leal lifted his own shirt to show off his stomach muscles and ordered him to do the same. Behold my washboard abs...
Even though he was uncomfortable about it, the doctor said he began untucking his shirt, then they heard some people. He said at Leal's suggestion they moved behind the restroom, which was locked, and he did lift up his shirt, at which time he was arrested. Surprise!
The jury found the doctor guilty, and the judge gave him six months in jail, but suspended the sentence to two years of community supervision. Should've said thanks and walked away...
The doctor had not used DeGuerin and Davis for the trial but hired them for the appeal. What might be called the 2.8-inch issue (as measured by a urologist DeGuerin called as an expert witness during a subsequent hearing) did not come up at the trial. Nurse! My ruler! And microscope! STAT! Oh - and forceps!
The original attorney testified at the hearing the doctor never told him about his physique. The doctor disagreed, testifying that he mentioned it at their first meeting, but the lawyer said it "would be demeaning to bring up in court" and "this case is about exposure, not about size." Bet this made med school all worth it, huh, doc?
But DeGuerin and Davis argued that it was a key bit of evidence. For one thing, the doctor said he is so embarrassed that he avoids exposure to anyone but his wife. ...and his rest stop pals.
Secondly, the urologist testified that given the officer's own description of how the doctor allegedly showed off, the illegal part of the alleged display would have been concealed by the doctor's palm, which the urologist measured as being more than half again as large as the subject at hand. Was there hair on his palm, doc?
In a 30-page opinion clinically crafted to avoid double-entendres, Justice Wanda McFee Fowler (writing for a unanimous three-judge panel) rejected the defense argument. She said the trial judge could reasonably have believed the trial lawyer that he was unaware of his client's stature. She rejected DeGuerin's argument that it was the lawyer's duty to ask his client about it. Hey, Wanda? You want to handle this one? Ooops. Sorry, wrong choice of words...
DeGuerin and Davis made other arguments, but the court rejected those as well. Baliff! Whack his tiny peepee!
The bottom line: This is a case that could be described as de minimis, a legal term defined by Black's Law Dictionary as "1. Trifling, minimal. 2. (Of a fact or thing) so insignificant that a court may overlook it in deciding an issue or case." So how much did this crack legal assistance cost, buddy?
#1
All that money for legal fees, and the best they could come up with is "my client is hung like a flea"?
Posted by: Swamp Blondie in the Cornfields ||
08/20/2008 16:57 Comments ||
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#2
that which is alleged to have been exposed is too small to have been seen.
That's about the silliest unrealistic excuse I've ever heard. Even I am not so naive as to go into the woods with a total stranger, just for a conversation easily continued on a park bench. For that matter, why did the good doctor drive all the way to the park for a 20-minute conversation with a random stranger, when conversation can as easily be found in a grocery checkout line? Why did he not sit in the sun or shade outside his office with a good book? Why didn't he call his wife, who know doubt doesn't see nearly enough of him? By the logic of Occam's Razor, I declare the man a pathetic example of unrequited exhibitionism.
#4
Would not jail be preferable to such a public humiliation?
How does someone sit in a courtroom while their lawyer says this?
Posted by: john frum ||
08/20/2008 18:32 Comments ||
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#5
This isn't the first time. There was a case we read in law school in which a sex offender's lawyer asserted, in defense to a charge of statutory rape, that his client's, er, equipment was "rag-like, lifeless, and useful only for connecting his bladder to the outside world."
Posted by: Mike ||
08/20/2008 18:42 Comments ||
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#6
Seriously, Mike? How on earth did y'all get through law school without terminal hysteria?
So...was it worth it?
An American police officer who claimed to have found Bigfoot has been fired from the force after it emerged that the hairy heap in his freezer was not the half-man, half-ape of myth, but a full-length rubber gorilla costume.
In an elaborate hoax Matthew Whitton, a police officer in Clayton County, Georgia, and his partner, Rick Dyer, announced in a radio interview and YouTube video that they had found the creature's corpse in the remote forests of Georgia state. They sold the rights to the corpse to Rick Biscardi, a Californian Bigfoot hunter, for a reported $50,000, and Mr Biscardi then presented the pair to the world at a press conference in Palo Alto last Friday, although he was forced to defend the lack of physical evidence on show.
After admitting their deception in a telephone conversation with Mr Biscardi and promising to pay his money back, the two hoaxers swiftly checked out of their California hotel before the Bigfoot hunter could get there, making themselves as scarce as their mythical prey.
The hoaxers' own BigfootTracker website does not explain the motives behind it - except to offer visitors $499 Bigfoot hunting expeditions. Callers to a voicemail "tipline" advertised on the site are advised that the pair are also now searching for leprechauns, dinosaurs, the Loch Ness Monster and, of course, Elvis.
The joke fell flat with Jeffrey Turner, who as Chief of Police in Clayton County, Georgia, put Mr Whitton on medical leave when he was shot in the wrist as he tried to foil a robbery earlier this summer.
"As soon as we saw it was a hoax, I filed the paperwork to terminate his employment," said Chief Turner. Hes disgraced himself, hes an embarrassment to the Clayton County Police Department, his credibility and integrity as an officer is gone, and I have no use for him, he declared. This turn of events from hero to someone who defrauds a nation is just baffling. I dont know how he got from one point to the other... For someone to do a complete three-sixty like that, I can't explain it."
The police chief said that he wanted to send Mr Whitton his termination paperwork and get back his uniforms - but had not yet managed to track him down.
#3
I for one do believe BIGFOOT = FLORIDA/SOUTHERN SWAMP APE does exist, as per my own past experience - its unfortunate that this issue is being exploited and abused by unscrupulous personages.
The NATIONAL ENQUIRER's exclusive ongoing investigation uncovers shocking new revelations about The John Edwards Scandal!
The day prior to Edwards bombshell admission to an affair on ABC's Nightline, Rielle Hunter and her 6 month old daughter, Frances Quinn Hunter, were flown out of the US onboard a chartered Learjet. he private flight cost $50,000 and was paid for by Edwards' pals. The Hunters were the solo passengers aboard the eight-hour flight. Destination: St. Croix in the Virgin Islands!
THE ENQUIRER tracked Rielle to St. Croix where our reporters discovered Rielle and the baby stayed in a luxurious oceanfront home owned by controversial trial lawyer Lee Rohn, another close friend of Edwards. When visited by an ENQUIRER reporter on August 15, Rohn snapped a terse "No comment!" when questioned about Hunter.
Former Virgin Island Senator Anne Golden confirmed to THE ENQUIRER that "within 24 hours of their arrival that they were here and staying with Lee Rohn."
After the ENQUIRER discovered Rielle's hideaway with Rohn, she was moved to a motel on the island before returning to Santa Barbara on August 17 according to another source. An ENQUIRER reporter then saw Rielle back in her California home, which is being paid for by Edwards' former finance chairman Fred Baron.
And Rielle now has an off-duty police officer guarding her house.
None of this is paid for by Rielle. The money continues to come from Edwards's network of loyal supporters, with no explanation from Edwards why he is having his friends continue to support Rielle now that the affair has been made public. Edwards is not only aware of the hush money payoffs but orchestrated it with his team of former campaign advisors and now The ENQUIRER has discovered that a team of six more lawyers have been involved in the coverup and are funneling payments to Hunter, who has no money and no means of support.
The ENQUIRER has also learned that Hunter's own lawyer advised her to allow Edwards to take a paternity test but she refused out of misguided belief that Edwards will marry her after the death of his cancer-stricken wife Elizabeth.
The ENQUIRER's continuing blockbuster investigation also reveals the disgraced ex-senator is still in constant communication with his mistress!
ALSO revealed in The ENQUIRER's new issue are the shocking intimate details of the Edwards- Hunter Affair from First Encounter to numerous secret rendezvous even after Edwards admitted the affair to his wife Elizabeth!
A friend of Rielle's told The ENQUIRER that when Edwards and Rielle met, "She wanted to pick him up. According to her, the chemistry was instant.
"They ended up sleeping together that night!"
Rielle told her friend that she was hired to shoot behind-the-scenes video for the Presidential campaign because Edwards wanted them to be together. "A friend kidded her she was actually shooting 'between-the-sheets' videos!"
#5
What are some folks so dedicated to bankrolling total sleazebags even after they are proven to be total sleazebags?
Maybe he has a bunch of dirt on them they don't want out?
Posted by: Deacon Blues ||
08/20/2008 14:18 Comments ||
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#6
Can someone from the Nat'l. Enq. start working on the Annenberg Challenge story? Maybe not sex but there's sure to be a lot of fire with that smoke.
Iraqi railway officials say Saddam Hussein's personal luxury train will return to service next month. Officials say the 23-car train will ferry passengers from Baghdad to Basra.
The late Iraqi dictator used the French-built train only once, in the late 1970s. Since then it has been kept in a secret place in Baghdad and was protected from looting following the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq in 2003. Ya gotta wonder - somebody protected this big train, but not the museums and antiquities? And where do you hide a train a quarter-mile long?
In a quarter-mile long hiding place ...
Posted by: Bobby ||
08/20/2008 06:08 ||
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#1
Assuming it was coupled up when in storage. Probably was de-coupled in sections and hidden in rail storage sheds at the rail yard. Who'd amongst us would have said: "Hey, lets go to the rail yard and steal Sammy's train" instead of saying: "Hey, remember all those rare pots and jewels in the museum. Must be worth something and easy to swipe."
Posted by: Jack is Back! ||
08/20/2008 10:21 Comments ||
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#2
Yes, Jack, but some rail yards contain valuable stuff (here anyway - automobiles and the stuff you can haul off like spare tires and batteries), stuff to loot, like washing machines and refrigerators, and some interesting chemicals (polyvinyl cloride, clorine, acetone).
I would've thought all the rail yards would be looted and something like Sammy's train discovered and torched.
I read an article by a guy who managed their rail operartions for a period of time (around '04 or '05) and recall one of the more interesting cargoes was wads and wads of cash...
Posted by: Bobby ||
08/20/2008 12:57 Comments ||
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#3
I'll take a pass on the Basra express. My personal FAVORITE!
#4
too bad we didn't bring it over here for use. AMTRAK is swamped with passengers and no new rolling stock in the short term; pulling old stuff out of whereever they find it and refit it for use. Yeah i know it would need some mods to run on our tracks, but it would help.
#5
I wouldn't mind riding on it, just to say I had, but my personal all-time favorite is the Durango to Silverton Narrow Gauge, just for the scenery if nothing else.
Posted by: Old Patriot ||
08/20/2008 19:36 Comments ||
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A cell phone ring tone that sings "Condom, condom!" has been launched to promote safe sex in India, where condoms carry a strong social stigma and HIV and AIDS are growing problems, health experts said Tuesday.
The ring tone features a professional singer chanting the word condom more than 50 times, a playful approach that public health activists hope will spark discussion and make condoms more socially acceptable. YJCMTSU.
Posted by: Bobby ||
08/20/2008 06:05 ||
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Posted by: Fred ||
08/20/2008 00:00 ||
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#1
It is now just north of Melbourne (South of the cape). I am on ocean at Hammock Dunes (Palm Coast) and winds are tolerable at around 30-40 mph. Squalls are coming every hour or so. This thing is moving very slowly and I don't expect higher winds until sometime early tomorrow morning. I haven't seen any kite boarders come sailing by my window, yet:)
Posted by: Jack is Back! ||
08/20/2008 10:24 Comments ||
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#2
BFD.
(A tropical storm, ooooh! How frightening!)
#4
Sources back in Brevard County (head east from Orlando, stop when you reach the ocean) tell me that this thing is parked on top of them and drenching them good. Parts have gotten 11 inches so far, and the streets are flooding over pretty much everywhere. 5500 or so are currently without power, and they are requesting that people cut back on water usage for personal hygiene only. Melbourne International (hey, they have 2 flights a week to the Bahamas, so....) has had all kinds of critters on the runway, like walking catfish, turtles and snakes. I think it's still open, by why anyone wants to go there now is beyond me. Kennedy Space Center has been closed.
Cocoa has been evac'd in parts and there is an evac going on in parts of Melbourne and West Melbourne. Our "retirement villa" is on higher ground, but I'm not very hopeful right now that we will escape flooding with a downpour like this.
(BTW, mojo, Floridians generally aren't scared of a tropical storm, it's the aftermath and the cleanup that bugs 'em.)
Best of luck to anyone in that downpour who can read this....take care and hope you are on higher ground......
Posted by: Swamp Blondie in the Cornfields ||
08/20/2008 13:21 Comments ||
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#5
Cocoa evacuated? Oh noes! Hope Jeannie, Capt. Nelson, and Capt. Healey are OK!
Posted by: Frank G ||
08/20/2008 13:28 Comments ||
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#6
Oops, got more info. Parts of Brevard have gotten 21 inches. The National Weather Service Office, about a mile or so south of our "retirement villa", got 15 inches. School has been canceled for Thursday. And it's still coming.
If we had a drought, I think it's pretty much over now, swksvolFF. ;)
Posted by: Swamp Blondie in the Cornfields ||
08/20/2008 13:29 Comments ||
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#7
cripes! 21"? San Diego averages 9"+ a year. If we got 21" in a day, I'd have beachfront property
Posted by: Frank G ||
08/20/2008 13:31 Comments ||
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#8
Some of those swamps that had been drained must now be swamps again. How happy the environmentalists must be!
#10
Yep, I think it's pretty much at the "Biblical flood" stage.
The local authorities have ordered people to stay off the roads, which, considering some of them are under 5 feet of water, is probably a good idea.
Trust me, if any of youse guys can figure out how to get this biatch out of Brevard, you are welcome to her. "Jeannie" said this is beyond her control, and those damn Captains she hangs with ain't much use right now, either. ;)
Posted by: Swamp Blondie in the Cornfields ||
08/20/2008 14:08 Comments ||
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#11
It's still very dry here. we were hoping it would come our way but new computer models have it moving much further south and west, through Georgia and Alabama. Phooey.
Posted by: Deacon Blues ||
08/20/2008 14:21 Comments ||
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A Yemeni security official said police are cracking down on Muslims who have converted to Christianity. The official says at least nine people were detained in recent months. Separately, the official said police also arrested six Iranians in Yemen who are followers of the Baha'i faith for allegedly belonging to a rebel group.
Posted by: Fred ||
08/20/2008 00:00 ||
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At least 43 people died in violent attacks in the last three days in the northern Mexico state of Chihuahua, the scene of ongoing drug gang turf wars, police said Monday. Thirteen persons were killed in separate attacks on Monday, following nine killed overnight Sunday and 21 others the previous night, including 14 in a massacre at a family gathering in the western Chihuahua town of Creel. Violence has escalated throughout the country since President Felipe Calderon launched a military crackdown on drug trafficking.
Posted by: Fred ||
08/20/2008 00:00 ||
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#3
It's a mess, all right, and it's not going to get any better. Build the fence, throw all the Mexes back across it, abrogate NAFTA, and slam the border closed. Shoot anyone who tries to cross without permission, particularly any Mex in uniform. Let them stew in their own mess and tell them to leave us the hell out of their national drama.
I wish Mex was as far away as Hawaii and the Rio Grande was 500 miles wide.
#4
I just read Putin, in part, turned around Russia's economy several years ago by instituting a flat tax of 13%. Mexico needs to tax everyone across the board, including drug proceeds, investing into the people of Mexico. They need education, health care, and social services so they can quit crossing the border to access ours.
A Cleveland television station is reporting that Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones (D-Ohio) was hospitalized Tuesday night after police found her unconscious behind the wheel of a moving car.
Clevelands WOIO reports that Arkansas State police tried to pull over a fast-moving sedan at around 9 p.m. Tuesday but got no response from the driver. When they managed to get the car stopped in a field, they found Tubbs Jones, 58, unconscious in the drivers seat.
A spokeswoman for the Huron Road Hospital in East Cleveland confirmed Tuesday night that Tubbs Jones was in the hospital but told the AP that family members wanted no further information released. WOIO said that Tubbs Jones' condition has been stabilized.
Tubbs Jones, a strong supporter of Hillary Rodham Clinton who endorsed Barack Obama in June, was scheduled to attend next weeks Democratic National Convention in Denver
#7
Foxnews has unconfirmed reports that she died....
Posted by: Frank G ||
08/20/2008 14:00 Comments ||
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#8
confirmed
Posted by: Frank G ||
08/20/2008 14:08 Comments ||
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#9
...or not. Conflicting reports now, hospital sez in critical cnd'n. Little if any brain functioning, so perhaps an organ donor? I disagree with virtually all of her politics, but RIP
Posted by: Frank G ||
08/20/2008 14:41 Comments ||
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#10
That poor woman. I can't imagine.
My condolences to her family who may have to make a tough decision here soon.
Posted by: Grenter, Protector of the Geats ||
08/20/2008 15:08 Comments ||
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#11
I'm no fan of hers either, but this is just awful. The only good thing is that at least her car didn't hit anyone else when she was stricken.
Posted by: Mike ||
08/20/2008 16:07 Comments ||
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what salary for what job, benefit packages and reviews of working for firm x... interesting... my bet is that, soon, accessing this web site will be grounds for termination.
#1
It may even be grounds for a civil suit if you signed any kind of non-disclosure agreement. Most employers do that now I think. This would be a good time to learn how to use an onion proxy or annonymisor to surf this site.
#2
Better yet, don't use business assets to access the site. Using employer owned equipment and systems is a vote for your stupidity and probably should grounds for firing you for incompetence.
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
The NATIONAL ENQUIRER's exclusive ongoing investigation uncovers shocking new revelations about The John Edwards Scandal!
