Article

2009-11-29 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Tiger Woods said Elin Nordegren, not car crash, scratched face & chased him with golf club

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Posted by Fred 2009-11-29 00:00|| || Front Page|| [11137 views ] Top

#1 The tabloid claimed Woods was having an affair with Rachel Uchitel - a sexy Manhattan hostess who lost a fiancé in the World Trade Center on 9/11 and was previously linked to married television star David Boreanaz.

As an interesting ( or maybe not so interesting ) aside, Uchitel is is the Russian transliteration for the word teacher.

Posted by badanov 2009-11-29 00:31|| http://www.freefirezone.org]">[http://www.freefirezone.org] 2009-11-29 00:31|| Front Page Top

#2 Women like this hate men like me and any number of others on sight.

The "teacher" is the one on the left, appropriately enough.

Posted by badanov 2009-11-29 00:36|| http://www.freefirezone.org]">[http://www.freefirezone.org] 2009-11-29 00:36|| Front Page Top

#3 "Having an affair wid RACHEL UCHITEL" > YuhOh,l I'm a'guessin this means TIGER is now automat in charge of cooking his own Holiday meals???

Posted by JosephMendiola">JosephMendiola 2009-11-29 02:00|| na]">[na] 2009-11-29 02:00|| Front Page Top

#4 SO.

Tiger Woods married the blondest Aryan woman he could find, a woman who is accustomed to being the prettiest girl in the room and accustomed to privilege. Five years and two kids later, her childrearing instincts have turned off her sex drive like a faucet. Tiger isn't getting any at home, and he's accustomed to privilege, too. So he does what a lot of men with frigid wives do and dines out once in a while. Wifey finds out in the tabloids and goes berzerk - there is no rage like the privileged getting treated like little people. She grabs a golf club and creams him square in the face. Tiger flees to his SUV and careens down the driveway, the wife shattering the window as he peels out. He's woozy from the blow and pain medication and runs over a fire hydrant. She comes upon him and the enormity of attacking her meal ticket suddenly dawns on her. She breaks down crying as she frantically calls the ambulance and prays Tiger isn't hurt. They agree to cover it up.

Does that sound plausible?

Posted by gromky 2009-11-29 02:36|| ]">[ ] 2009-11-29 02:36|| Front Page Top

#5 slung thru the mud

rang, slung, it's all the same to the emmeinemnce grize what cranks this stuff out.

Posted by Perry Stanford White 2009-11-29 06:13|| 2009-11-29 06:13|| Front Page Top

#6 Does that sound plausible?

As plausible as any made up story, I guess.

Posted by lotp 2009-11-29 06:25|| 2009-11-29 06:25|| Front Page Top

#7 Cops said alcohol was not involved,

Money not an issue. That leaves only *****.

Posted by Besoeker 2009-11-29 07:29|| 2009-11-29 07:29|| Front Page Top

#8 Don't rule out stupidity.

Posted by lex 2009-11-29 08:49|| 2009-11-29 08:49|| Front Page Top

#9 "Honnneeeyyy! Do these stretch pants make me look fat?"

Posted by Anonymoose 2009-11-29 08:56|| 2009-11-29 08:56|| Front Page Top

#10 Has Tiger ordered a herd of elk for his estate yet?

Posted by Glenmore 2009-11-29 08:57|| 2009-11-29 08:57|| Front Page Top

#11 ..except there will be no Rihana sympathy for the dude. In many jurisdictions, the cops are required to take in the abusing spouse. No ifs, ands, or buts. Another case of privilege over process.

Posted by Procopius2k 2009-11-29 09:08|| 2009-11-29 09:08|| Front Page Top

#12 Women like this hate men like me and any number of others on sight.

The "teacher" is the one on the left, appropriately enough

That's a purty mouth

Posted by North Ga Cracker 2009-11-29 09:55|| 2009-11-29 09:55|| Front Page Top

#13 A 2:30am event had domestic violence, or an attempt to avoid it, written all over it.

Posted by HammerHead 2009-11-29 10:45|| 2009-11-29 10:45|| Front Page Top

#14 Gromky nails it!

Posted by remoteman 2009-11-29 12:23|| 2009-11-29 12:23|| Front Page Top

#15 Tiger Woods 'told friend his wife had gone ghetto on him'

Posted by tipper 2009-11-29 13:44|| 2009-11-29 13:44|| Front Page Top

#16 Imagine that! Wifey going all ghetto on a playa hubbie. What's half of a gazillion fortune?

Posted by ed 2009-11-29 15:50|| 2009-11-29 15:50|| Front Page Top

#17 http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/11/28/gender-double-standards-at-work-in-tiger-woods-incident/#comments

Posted by Plastic Snoopy 2009-11-29 15:52|| 2009-11-29 15:52|| Front Page Top

#18 What's half of a gazillion fortune?

Maybe not as much as you'd think. They way I read Florida divorce laws - IANAL, but I have three years truly ugly experience with divorce laws - he may only have to split what he's made since he married her, especially as she has a solid and booming career. It's going to cost him well north of seven figures, but he can afford it.

Mike

Posted by Mike Kozlowski 2009-11-29 16:45|| 2009-11-29 16:45|| Front Page Top

#19 Let's see:
Tiger Woods married Elin Nordegren in October 2004
Earnings:
2005 - $87 million
2006 - $99 million
2007 - $123 million
2008 - $117 million
2009 - ?
Half of that is OUCH!, even after Johnny Fed's cut.

Posted by ed 2009-11-29 16:52|| 2009-11-29 16:52|| Front Page Top

#20 BTW, got a snicker at how she attacked Tiger with a golf club. Beat him at his own game, so to speak.

Posted by ed 2009-11-29 16:54|| 2009-11-29 16:54|| Front Page Top

#21 While it's a little hard not to chuckle over a celebrity dipping his pen in a strange inkwell and wifey's adverse reaction thereto, let's face the fact there's a bit of a double standard in both the reporting and in some of the public reactions. If it had been Tiger trying to beat the bejeezus out of his wife with a golf club, there'd be calls (including from a lot of us here @ the Burg) for him to be incarcerated under the jail. Better if Elin had just realized the fact there's a whole lot of hungry ~~sharks~~ divorce lawyers out there and acted accordingly.

Posted by Ricky bin Ricardo (Abu Babaloo) 2009-11-29 20:43|| 2009-11-29 20:43|| Front Page Top

#22 I am publicly offering my shoulder to cry on, my sympathy to give, and my willingness to be stepdad to their children, Elin? Call me?

Posted by Frank G">Frank G 2009-11-29 21:41|| 2009-11-29 21:41|| Front Page Top

#23 Frank---tell her that you are a commodore and you will protect her convoy. You will be on easy street.

Posted by Alaska Paul 2009-11-29 23:10|| 2009-11-29 23:10|| Front Page Top

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