Article

2007-07-29 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Archived material is restricted to Rantburg regulars and members. If you need access email fred.pruitt=at=gmail.com with your nick to be added to the members list. There is no charge to join Rantburg as a member.

Posted by Fred 2007-07-29 00:00|| || Front Page|| [3 views ] Top

#1 All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard.

Posted by Anonymoose 2007-07-29 00:29|| 2007-07-29 00:29|| Front Page Top

#2 Crow barred by fed up landlady

No comment from Jim.

Posted by Zenster">Zenster 2007-07-29 02:11|| 2007-07-29 02:11|| Front Page Top

#3 "Moaning" here as well.... *#&#@&^@^!

Posted by Besoeker 2007-07-29 04:33|| 2007-07-29 04:33|| Front Page Top

#4 Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened the birds began to sing,
Oh wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the king?
The king was in his counting house counting out his money,
The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey
The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes,
When down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose!

Sorry, someone had to post it. :)

Posted by Procopius2k 2007-07-29 09:13|| 2007-07-29 09:13|| Front Page Top

#5 I have a strict rule against anybody putting their pecker in my beer. Just makes sense

Posted by Frank G">Frank G 2007-07-29 13:26|| 2007-07-29 13:26|| Front Page Top

#6 Cheap revolver. 22 caliber. You can get them with 9 round cylinders. Load with bird shot crimped rounds. Its in Britain? Its practically certain the bird knows absolutely nuthin' about hand guns.

Put the large glass of Lager out. Let the bird have a free run and get to know you. Put another one out the same place the next day at the same time. Let the bird get to know you better.

If the bird is as close as this customer in the photo is...cock the pistols under a towel and just hold it in your lap. dont make a sudden move, just swing the pistol up gently. Shoot the bird about three times, squeeze the trigger three rounds in two seconds.. just click pop click pop click PoP.

The birdshot rounds are very quiet and the shot is not something that will carry very far so you wont be putting any rounds into the furniture or the walls. Warn everybody ahead of time. That's why you pick the time and the place so the bird has a clear go and you have a clear kill zone.

There will be a bit of a mess, have the cleaning materials ready and somplace to wash up. Dispose of the bird in the trash.If the customers want to watch ...make them pay. If anybody warns the bird...tell the paying-to-watch customers ( there is always some cute guy ) that you have a gun and you dont like people who waste your time being cute.

Squeamish? Some people are, I am not. You dont have to watch.

Turns out the bird didnt know you as well as he thought he did.

Posted by Angleton 9 2007-07-29 21:24|| 2007-07-29 21:24|| Front Page Top

23:58 eltoroverde
23:53 eltoroverde
23:19 twobyfour
23:13 Boss Craising2882
23:09 Old Patriot
22:41 Boss Craising2882
22:32 Anonymoose
22:21 anymouse
22:15 AzCat
22:11 trailing wife
21:48 OldSpook
21:47 Carl in N.H.
21:47 trailing wife
21:47 Pappy
21:46 OldSpook
21:45 trailing wife
21:39 gorb
21:39 GK
21:35 gorb
21:31 gorb
21:24 Angleton 9
21:21 OyVey1
21:20 Free Radical
21:12 Free Radical