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2006-04-26 Europe
Spain to give apes human rights, deny rights to capitalists
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Posted by Jackal 2006-04-26 00:00|| E-Mail|| Front Page|| [363 views since 2007-05-07]  Top

#1 The PSOE's justification is that humans share 98.4% of our genes with chimpanzees, 97.7% with gorillas, and 96.4% with orangutans.

Human's share 50% of their genes with Sea Slugs.

To think these morons actually got elected.
Posted by phil_b">phil_b  2006-04-26 00:27||]">[]  2006-04-26 00:27|| Front Page Top

#2 The figure I always heard was that it was something like a 60% overlap with cabbage.

I think it explains a lot.
Posted by Abdominal Snowman 2006-04-26 00:54||   2006-04-26 00:54|| Front Page Top

#3 Do they get to pay taxes?
Posted by mojo">mojo  2006-04-26 03:27||   2006-04-26 03:27|| Front Page Top

#4 Oh, great. Now future headlines will read "Women, minorities and apes hardest hit."
Posted by BA 2006-04-26 09:25||   2006-04-26 09:25|| Front Page Top

#5 Does this apply to marriage rights? I guess you really could be a monkey's uncle in Madrid.
Posted by Desert Blondie 2006-04-26 09:42||]">[]  2006-04-26 09:42|| Front Page Top

#6 Argh! Alimony! Run Away! Run Away!
Posted by Abdominal Snowman 2006-04-26 09:55||   2006-04-26 09:55|| Front Page Top

#7 Some people would do anything for a few more million votes....
Posted by CrazyFool 2006-04-26 09:57||   2006-04-26 09:57|| Front Page Top

#8 lol, CF! Very important point! This will make the dead voting in Chicago look like child's play.
Posted by BA 2006-04-26 10:05||   2006-04-26 10:05|| Front Page Top

#9 "seeking a UN declaration on simian rights which would defend ape interests..."

This makes sense. After all, apes have the inherent right of universal dignity to randomly fling their fecal matter without the ridicule of their arrogant human cousins.
Posted by DepotGuy 2006-04-26 10:42||   2006-04-26 10:42|| Front Page Top

#10 CF is right: they've massively expanded their voting pool.
Posted by Secret Master 2006-04-26 11:05||   2006-04-26 11:05|| Front Page Top

#11 Funny, I was entertaining the idea of proposing the same law for liberals. But then I came to my senses.
Posted by bigjim-ky 2006-04-26 11:25||   2006-04-26 11:25|| Front Page Top

#12 POTA Rules! IT begins!
Posted by borgboy 2006-04-26 11:43||   2006-04-26 11:43|| Front Page Top

#13 Get your hands off me, you damn dirty ape!
Posted by DarthVader 2006-04-26 12:07||   2006-04-26 12:07|| Front Page Top

#14 I can seee it now: Today, Hillary Clinton visited the Bronx Zoo to give a speech on fresh letuce. She was repeatedly interrupted by a signifying monkey. Willy, the monkey signaled her with his middle finger and his upper lip. Hillary got the message and broke for lunch early.
Posted by wxjames 2006-04-26 12:38||   2006-04-26 12:38|| Front Page Top

#15 Dang! Next thing you know, people will allow wimmen to vote... owh, wait. Nevermind.
Posted by anonymous5089 2006-04-26 12:46||   2006-04-26 12:46|| Front Page Top

#16 Let me see if I have this straight:

Apes, which share 98.4% of our genes, are going to be declared persons and extended legal protections.

Fetuses and Terri Schiavo, who have 100% human DNA, are not persons and may freely be put down.

Does that mean I get an "A," Professor Singer?
Posted by Mike 2006-04-26 16:21||   2006-04-26 16:21|| Front Page Top

#17 Take your paws off me you Damn Dirty Socialists!
Posted by ed 2006-04-26 16:48||   2006-04-26 16:48|| Front Page Top

#18 So, the Spanish have decided that Basil Fawlty was right? That apes are their equals? Neat. Way to go, Zappy...

Posted by Dave D.">Dave D.  2006-04-26 20:17||   2006-04-26 20:17|| Front Page Top

#19 Why'm I remainder of the "in love with a female gorilla" skit from the Cabaret?
Posted by gromgoru 2006-04-26 22:20||   2006-04-26 22:20|| Front Page Top

#20 Please oh please oh please tell me this is ScrappleFace!
Posted by SteveS 2006-04-26 22:58||   2006-04-26 22:58|| Front Page Top

23:59 JosephMendiola
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23:35 CrazyFool
23:34 Master of Obvious
23:30 KBK
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