Article

2006-01-18 Arabia

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Posted by Steve White 2006-01-18 00:00|| || Front Page|| [11133 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 We can't be so lucky to use the Iranians for contractors?

Posted by anonymous2u 2006-01-18 00:38|| 2006-01-18 00:38|| Front Page Top

#2 I'll bet the bin Laden Group gets the contract.

"250,000 pilgrims per hour"

It's a number game. "C'mon, throw, already! The bus is waiting!"

YJCMTSU.

Posted by .com 2006-01-18 02:36|| 2006-01-18 02:36|| Front Page Top

#3 They stone the devil in arabic. In english, they tell us they are negotiating.

Posted by PlanetDan">PlanetDan 2006-01-18 08:01|| 2006-01-18 08:01|| Front Page Top

#4 SAUDI authorities are looking for Fatwa from scholars around the world concerning working out a new method for the symbolic stoning of the devil.

Invite Ahmadinejad.

Posted by Nimble Spemble 2006-01-18 09:26|| 2006-01-18 09:26|| Front Page Top

#5 Heh, Nimble. You post immediately brought to mind the Dune term for nukes, stone burner...

Posted by .com 2006-01-18 09:31|| 2006-01-18 09:31|| Front Page Top

#6 Your, sheesh. PIMF.

Posted by .com 2006-01-18 09:32|| 2006-01-18 09:32|| Front Page Top

#7 Yeah, but will they still write "USA" on the pillar representing the devil, like they did in 2004? I'm so confused!

Posted by anonymous5089 2006-01-18 10:01|| 2006-01-18 10:01|| Front Page Top

#8 write "USA" on the pillar representing the devil

And God got so pissed that he trampled 244 of them to death .

Posted by ed 2006-01-18 10:14|| 2006-01-18 10:14|| Front Page Top

#9 Maybe they could try the "Fatwas Are Us" stall down at the bazaar. They have a great selection and good prices.

Posted by Spot">Spot 2006-01-18 13:32|| 2006-01-18 13:32|| Front Page Top

#10 Spot on, Spot!

Posted by Inspector Clueso 2006-01-18 13:53|| 2006-01-18 13:53|| Front Page Top

#11 Won't make any difference, devil stoning infractruce (DSI) adheres to the same rules has offices, closets and hard-drives.

Posted by Crease Slolung3988 2006-01-18 14:24|| 2006-01-18 14:24|| Front Page Top

#12 I envision a sort of multi-tier golf driving range sort of devil-stoning structure. Despite all sorts of advance civil engineering and all the fatwas in the world, I'm also confident they'll still figure out some way to trample the sh!t out of each other.

Posted by Zenster 2006-01-18 14:53|| 2006-01-18 14:53|| Front Page Top

#13 My guess is that the 10 level stoning platform will end up not supporting the weight of 250,000 eager devil hating rock tossers and... well, you know.

Posted by tu3031 2006-01-18 15:00|| 2006-01-18 15:00|| Front Page Top

#14 mmmmm pancakes!

Posted by Rachel Corrie">Rachel Corrie 2006-01-18 15:02|| 2006-01-18 15:02|| Front Page Top

#15 Call me dense but 10 levels would let a missed rock reach near terminal velocity as it arcs downward. The folk on the lower levels are going to be creamed by all the rocks heading their way.

Posted by 3dc 2006-01-18 15:36|| 2006-01-18 15:36|| Front Page Top

#16 Rather simple, really, 3dc. Adulterers, political prisoners and rapist stabbers will all be assigned tethered positions on the lowest floors in order to make best use of those errant missiles.

Posted by Zenster 2006-01-18 15:53|| 2006-01-18 15:53|| Front Page Top

#17 ... underground level and four 100-metre wide ramps that can accommodate 250,000 pilgrims per hour,... towards the rotating knives.

Posted by Xbalanke 2006-01-18 18:17|| 2006-01-18 18:17|| Front Page Top

#18 much simpler... forget about the ramps. Change pebbles to AK47's (in far greater abundance in the neighbourhood than stones) or suicide belts. Why should the 3 stone devils get softer treatment the the Greater and Lesser Satans?

2 ramps - facing each other and everybody takes home 76 virgins. The details, of course, lie in the Cleaning Detail.

The Haj - a once in alifetime trip.

Posted by Hupomoger Clans9827">Hupomoger Clans9827 2006-01-18 19:43|| 2006-01-18 19:43|| Front Page Top

#19 I'll bet the bin Laden Group gets the contract.

Construction, maybe. Disney'll get the oprations contract.

Posted by Pappy 2006-01-18 20:37|| 2006-01-18 20:37|| Front Page Top

#20 Shit. Why spoil a good thing? This has been going just fine for hundreds of years. We can count on these dumb asses stomping several hundred to death each year, as it is. I laugh for days every time it happens.

Posted by SOP35/Rat 2006-01-18 21:56|| 2006-01-18 21:56|| Front Page Top

#21 Zenster, those bottom levels would be designated "Group W" in that case? ;-)

Posted by trailing wife 2006-01-18 22:18|| 2006-01-18 22:18|| Front Page Top

#22 Couldn't this be done on the web?

Hm. A .com for .com?

1. Virtual Stones
2. ...
3. Profit!!

Posted by KBK 2006-01-18 23:03|| 2006-01-18 23:03|| Front Page Top

#23 Is it just me, or did anyone else think of Dante's Inferno (the book, not the party club) with the different levels all leading down to....the devil at the bottom?

How do they assign who gets what level, anyway? Money, how "sinful" you are, what's the criteria?

Posted by Desert Blondie 2006-01-18 23:04|| http://azjetsetchick.blogspot.com ]">[http://azjetsetchick.blogspot.com ] 2006-01-18 23:04|| Front Page Top

#24 This is a 12-story group access block combining classical devil-stoning features with the efficiency of modern fatwas. The pilgrims arrive here and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt with extreme piety, past murals depicting Arabic scenes, towards the rotating tramplers. The last twenty feet of the ramp is heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the trampled flesh slurps into these â¦

Excuse me.

Yes? ..............

Posted by Zenster 2006-01-18 23:22|| 2006-01-18 23:22|| Front Page Top

#25 what's the criteria?

The same as it always has been throughout history, DB; The size of your stones.

Posted by Zenster 2006-01-18 23:25|| 2006-01-18 23:25|| Front Page Top

23:57 CaziFarkus
08:25 CaziFarkus
23:50 Shineper Sleremble4814
23:44 Zenster
23:34 badanov
23:30 Cheaderhead
23:30 badanov
23:26 Frank G
23:25 Zenster
23:22 Zenster
23:07 Desert Blondie
23:04 Desert Blondie
23:03 KBK
22:58 Desert Blondie
22:54 Redneck Jim
22:51 Barbara Skolaut
22:42 Barbara Skolaut
22:37 trailing wife
22:37 Zenster
22:34 trailing wife
22:28 Brett
22:26 trailing wife
22:23 Bomb-a-rama
22:18 trailing wife