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2005-01-02 Israel-Palestine
Abbas Offers to Protect Mideast Militants
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Posted by Fred 2005-01-02 12:15:09 PM|| E-Mail|| Front Page|| [423 views since 2007-05-07]  Top

#1 Huh! This is suspicious.
Posted by leaddog2  2005-01-02 12:53:48 PM||   2005-01-02 12:53:48 PM|| Front Page Top

#2 Um, how is he going to manage this? Heh. Seems to me that until the Paleo Air Force exists and controls the airspace, he's sorta full of shit. Just political poop for mass consumption, methinks.

"Please pass the hot buttered grub clusters, Mom!"
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 3:31:42 PM||   2005-01-02 3:31:42 PM|| Front Page Top

#3 This from today's Jpost seems to indicate that it is the same old tune.

calls for the destruction of the State of Israel again being broadcast on state run Palestinian Television

"We say no to a return to 1967 borders... we are
interested in returning to the true borders of out
country, we want to go back to the 1948 borders... and we shall yet return to them," went the Friday sermon read out by Ibrahim Mudayris, according to a translation of the Arabic released Sunday by the Jerusalem based 'Palestinian Media Watch.'

The weekly televised Palestinian sermon went on to
warn America against moving its embassy in Israel to Jerusalem, a move mandated by the US Congress, warning that it will be "the last nail in America's coffin."

"By the life of Allah, America will be buried on the day her embassy is moved to Jerusalem," the sermon continued.

Certainly don't believe in Dennis Ross' understanding of the situation

Optimism from Ross
Posted by Cynic 2005-01-02 4:25:08 PM||   2005-01-02 4:25:08 PM|| Front Page Top

#4 "Please pass the hot buttered grub clusters, Mom!"

Cripes, .com. If you're going to lift Firesign Theater's work, please do it right.

It's "hot buttered groat clusters."

Hungry for anything, George gets more than he bargained for when he accepts the Pastor’s offer for Hot Buttered Groat Clusters. "My God, it’s still warm," George exclaims ...

You're confusing groat clusters with the episode out at the "Wild West Dude Ranch" where chuckwagon cook Medium Raré offers up grubs cooked in holy corn oil. That is, oil from the corns of holy men. "Grubs again, grumble grumble ..."

What's more, Porgy's mom is cooking him groatcakes. "Don't eat with your hands, son. Use your entrenching tool!" Aside from that, I really enjoy your (however mangled) references to one of the best comedy teams that has ever come down the pike since The Marx Brothers.
Posted by Zenster 2005-01-02 5:21:41 PM||   2005-01-02 5:21:41 PM|| Front Page Top

#5 LOL! Don't you ever try that again PD or you will be chastised.
Posted by Shipman 2005-01-02 5:41:54 PM||   2005-01-02 5:41:54 PM|| Front Page Top

#6 Lol - You must still have access to the LP's... I'm so jealous I could *spit*! I haven't heard them in, oh, 30+ years *grumble grumble*...

Sorry, you're right - I muffed the punt!

I heard them all numerous times, but it was sooooo long ago... I'm now like the Granny the Cops stop coming out of the psycho-rocka-rocka Old Folks Dance Marathon - and her "stash" is merely asprin, heh.

I did get that reference right, didn't I?

And maybe we should also set up a "strategic" lending library and drop books, "The Naked Lunch", IIRC, on the Sunni Triangle. Who could complain? Hmmm, the Librarian Vote, yumm!

Memory tripping... Absolutely agreed that Firesign was the best, funniest, most innovative, most complex, most relevant "comedy" (I consider so much more than that, lol!) ever, lol!

I have a library of Firesign sound files - none containing the groat clusters, lol - if anyone's interested. I'll make up a page all, lessee, 31 of them if so.
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 5:42:17 PM||   2005-01-02 5:42:17 PM|| Front Page Top

#7 Sorry, you're right - I muffed the punt!

S'alright. At least you have the class to quote some of the best modern humor there is. My severe mental scarring proficient recall of their work can probably be traced back to seeing Firesign live a few times.

Their multi-level content remains largely unsurpassed by all modern humorists save Robin Williams (who I've also seen live). Only The Simpsons makes any sort of similar effort to include such strong literary reference and historical footnotes.
Posted by Zenster 2005-01-02 6:25:39 PM||   2005-01-02 6:25:39 PM|| Front Page Top

#8 Ship - Have you heard them? Hey - credit where due - they really do deserve correct quotation, lol! I wish I had the CD's I've heard about - hearing one end to end is the most incredible mind trip - and they are so spot-on it's spooky, heh. The best part is that you can listen 5 times - and hear something you missed with each pass. Incredible work.

These guys were so incredibly talented it boggled.
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 6:33:21 PM||   2005-01-02 6:33:21 PM|| Front Page Top

#9 Hey - credit where due - they really do deserve correct quotation, lol!

It's nothing short of hysterically funny that both of us find ourselves in complete agreement on this particular point. How hilarious.
Posted by Zenster 2005-01-02 7:29:38 PM||   2005-01-02 7:29:38 PM|| Front Page Top

#10 Right is right - and I do give credit where due, it's just reality, heh - I'm no fool, lol!
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 7:53:00 PM||   2005-01-02 7:53:00 PM|| Front Page Top

#11 Never hoid of 'em. I gotta go, it's my time for a bottle of Damn It All. (comes with a lid you can chew on).

Posted by Shipman 2005-01-02 8:03:05 PM||   2005-01-02 8:03:05 PM|| Front Page Top

#12 Never hoid of 'em.

Please accept my sincere condolences on leading such a deprived existence. I recommend starting with "The Further Adventures of Nick Danger" off of "All Hail Marx and Lennon" ("How Can You Be In Two Places at Once When You Aren't Anywhere at All?") or "Waiting for the Electrician or Somebody Like Him."

"Mah fellow settlers. We stand here on the banks of the Mississippi River looking west, towards a new frontier. What may appear to the faint-hearted as a limitless expanse of Godforsaken territory is, in reality, a golden opportunity for ourselve and our children and the generations a'comin' to carve a neeeeeewwww life out of the American ... Indian!"
Posted by Zenster 2005-01-02 8:28:22 PM||   2005-01-02 8:28:22 PM|| Front Page Top

#13 And in reading it, Ship, I heard it - a Gabby Hayes voice. Bravo! The memory trips is a scream! Thx, Zenster - great laugh!

As I said, I'll post the best sound files I can find, if anyone wants to listen.
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 8:34:22 PM||   2005-01-02 8:34:22 PM|| Front Page Top

#14 Post the Rough-As-A-Cob March.
Posted by Dave D. 2005-01-02 8:41:25 PM||   2005-01-02 8:41:25 PM|| Front Page Top

#15 Dave - A little background, key phrases, something? I don't recall that, specifically. I've found a motherlode of the files, too, but that one doesn't ring a bell...

Here's a source page to a bunch of sites - and part of the FT Webring...
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 9:17:14 PM||   2005-01-02 9:17:14 PM|| Front Page Top

#16 Thx, Zenster - great laugh!

All from memory and distincly my pleasure.

Try and dig up, "Beat the Reaper" or the "Ralph Spoilsport Mantra."


"Ask the cop on the corner. Ask the cop on the rooftop. Ask that cop who's knockin' on your back door."

[knock knock knock]

"Mister policeman, what makes America great?"

[barbershop quartet]

"It's candied apples and ponies with dapples
that you can ride all day.
It's girls with pimples and cripples with dimples
that just won't go away.
It's spics and whops and niggers and kikes
with noses as long as your arm.
It's mics and chinks and gooks and geeks and honkies [bicycle horn]
that never even left the farm!"

So remember, Abraham Lincoln didn't die in vain.
He died in Washington DC!
Posted by Zenster 2005-01-02 9:18:07 PM||   2005-01-02 9:18:07 PM|| Front Page Top

#17 Here's the intro for Beat The Reaper (aiff fmt) - not much but fired off memories, heh.

I'd love to hear the whole Ralph Spoilsport routine, again. Awesome... did they ever make it to the Ventura Freeway, lol?
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 9:24:29 PM||   2005-01-02 9:24:29 PM|| Front Page Top

#18 Abraham Lincoln...
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 9:26:00 PM||   2005-01-02 9:26:00 PM|| Front Page Top

#19 The Plague at the end of BTR...
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 9:31:00 PM||   2005-01-02 9:31:00 PM|| Front Page Top

#20 I Hate Cops...
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 9:32:41 PM||   2005-01-02 9:32:41 PM|| Front Page Top

#21 Good on you for digging up all the links, .com. Gotta edumahcate deese Rantburgers.
Posted by Zenster 2005-01-02 9:37:09 PM||   2005-01-02 9:37:09 PM|| Front Page Top

#22 I dunno... Are we on the hook for subsistence posts once we've got 'em addicted?
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 9:38:46 PM||   2005-01-02 9:38:46 PM|| Front Page Top

#23 Playing Arafat politics?
Posted by John Q. Citizen 2005-01-02 9:47:30 PM||   2005-01-02 9:47:30 PM|| Front Page Top

#24 "Oh, we'll go marching, marching to Shibboleth!
With the eagle and the sword,
Praising Zion unto death,
Til we meet our last reward!"

'Zat ring a bell, .com? I'm amazed I can recall it, given how... [ahem!] altered my state of consciousness was the last time I heard it...
Posted by Dave D. 2005-01-02 9:51:12 PM||   2005-01-02 9:51:12 PM|| Front Page Top

#25 Lol, Dave! Used to be a mantra of mine that I had seen Fantasia 20 times, but never straight, lol!

The lyrics do ring a bell... I'll keep nosing around, heh.
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 10:00:35 PM||   2005-01-02 10:00:35 PM|| Front Page Top

#26 Not sure, but I suspect it might have been on the "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers" album.

Never saw Fantasia, straight or otherwise. But I did see Night Of The Living Dead while tripping. It was very... realistic.
Posted by Dave D. 2005-01-02 10:04:17 PM||   2005-01-02 10:04:17 PM|| Front Page Top

#27 ROFL!!!
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 10:06:03 PM||   2005-01-02 10:06:03 PM|| Front Page Top

#28 When I think of how I conducted myself all those years ago, the idea that I actually survived just leaves me in stunned amazement.
Posted by Dave D. 2005-01-02 10:12:38 PM||   2005-01-02 10:12:38 PM|| Front Page Top

#29 Okay, I'm officially screwed, now - I found where to get old albums on CD. Gulp! This is gonna be very expensive, lol!
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 10:13:10 PM||   2005-01-02 10:13:10 PM|| Front Page Top

#30 Geez - talk about the same wavelength, lol! Another maxim (Drop the "x" and you've got the right guys!) of my gang of co-thugs was that if I got out of High School alive, it would mean the Universe was definitely out of balance and definitely playing favorites - cuz I sure was, lol! I, uh, had an unfriendly rep, heh! The Name That Shall Not Be Written Has No Idea How Lucky He Is That I Can't Reach Out And TOUCH Him, lol! From the crotch to the sternum in one single motion with my Tek.

Anyway, I'll prolly oder the phreakin' damned CD's, now, and just rip 'em. Here are the ones I know I'll order: 2 Places / Bozos / Everything / Dwarf / Electrician / Friends. Heh.
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 10:22:00 PM||   2005-01-02 10:22:00 PM|| Front Page Top

#31 Done $81 with shipping, so not so bad, heh.
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 10:29:31 PM||   2005-01-02 10:29:31 PM|| Front Page Top

#32 Seems to me the CDs would not be the major expense item involved in re-creating the overall experience...
Posted by Dave D. 2005-01-02 10:35:54 PM||   2005-01-02 10:35:54 PM|| Front Page Top

#33 The rush comes with it, for me - cheap date nowadays, lol!

And I found the Ralph Spoilsport routine!!!
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 10:38:23 PM||   2005-01-02 10:38:23 PM|| Front Page Top

#34 When I think of how I conducted myself all those years ago, the idea that I actually survived just leaves me in stunned amazement.

In other words;

"If I had known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself."

- George Burns -

From the crotch to the sternum in one single motion with my Tek.

As Issac Asimov said:

"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent."

I think you can do better than that, .com. A lot better. Kick back, pour a tall one and enjoy your Firesign instead.
Posted by Zenster 2005-01-02 10:39:41 PM||   2005-01-02 10:39:41 PM|| Front Page Top

#35 Isaac's dead. There is zero recidivism. No Comebacks.
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 10:45:59 PM||   2005-01-02 10:45:59 PM|| Front Page Top

#36 BTW, enjoy the Ralphie file - I had to steal the sucker.
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 10:48:43 PM||   2005-01-02 10:48:43 PM|| Front Page Top

#37 And I found the Ralph Spoilsport routine!!!

Be sure to include a link to the second part of it:

"Hi friends, Ralph Spoilsport, owner and operator of the largest dealership west of Baalbek. As usual, we're overdosed again with all tastes and kilos. Let's just take a taste of some of this Yucatan Blue, scored for you from the sky blue waters of that fabulous Mexican bay. Wine-soaked and sugar cured, completely clean for your smoking enjoyment, our complete price to you, only two thousand FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS in easy monthly sentences of year to life, delivered by me, Ralph Icebag, by a brown-shoed square in the dead of night."

Ten silver dimes to the person who can identify the famous literary passage Ralph starts quoting as he begins to ramble on ("and she said to me ...") at the end.
Posted by Zenster 2005-01-02 10:55:55 PM||   2005-01-02 10:55:55 PM|| Front Page Top

#38 Any Brother Dave Gardner fans?

Douglas Adams HHGG? He was the next to hit the high-water marks, IMHO.
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 10:56:34 PM||   2005-01-02 10:56:34 PM|| Front Page Top

#39 Ulysses?!!!?! Lol!
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 10:57:35 PM||   2005-01-02 10:57:35 PM|| Front Page Top

#40 D@mn close, .com! Please take another shot. You've certainly earned it.
Posted by Zenster 2005-01-02 10:59:49 PM||   2005-01-02 10:59:49 PM|| Front Page Top

#41 For first-timer Firesign novices, try these 2 short 'n sweet bits from Nick Danger, 3rd Eye...

Spread Eagle.aiff

If they don't interest you, well, you should shoot yourself, heh.
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 11:03:27 PM||   2005-01-02 11:03:27 PM|| Front Page Top

#42 Sure, today's modern work-a-day world is a little like having bees live in your head, but - there they are...
Posted by mojo  2005-01-02 11:05:29 PM||   2005-01-02 11:05:29 PM|| Front Page Top

#43 I just got a flash of the "yes, and she drew me down, yes, and the sky was blue, yes, and the grass was green, yes..." blah blah blah from Ulysses - no more than that flash, lol! Never could finsh that goddamned book! Drove me mad!

I'm afraid that's as close as I'll get! Sorry...
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 11:06:15 PM||   2005-01-02 11:06:15 PM|| Front Page Top

#44 Is that FT, mojo? I don't see anything that matches...

Here's the sound file behind something I post here frequently - in response to rabid Engrish, usually, heh.

Posted by .com 2005-01-02 11:09:42 PM||   2005-01-02 11:09:42 PM|| Front Page Top

#45 Bravo, .com. You were right. I thought "The Garden of the Alameda" was a separate work by Joyce (whom I also find about as pleasurable to read as giving birth to a porcupine, backwards). The passage is, indeed, from Ulysses:

O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens yes and all the queer little street and pink and blue and yellow houses and the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a girl where I was a flower of the mountains yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breast all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad yes I said yes I will Yes.

(James Joyce, Episode 18, in Ulysses, 1922)

I owe you one.
Posted by Zenster 2005-01-02 11:23:09 PM||   2005-01-02 11:23:09 PM|| Front Page Top

#46 Naw - Lh and I laughed about Ulysses some time back - how friggin' unreadable it was. Now if I was still a dopehead, I could prolly mellow down to pre-coma and get through it. I made it about 3 chapters-worth and that was that. Can't remember how far Lh got - but same boat as to the mental anguish, lol! Joyce had to have been on a opium pipe or full of paregoric.
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 11:32:26 PM||   2005-01-02 11:32:26 PM|| Front Page Top

#47 Yeah, .com - off "Don't Crush That Dwarf", I think. Or possibly "We're all Bozos on This Bus"...
Posted by mojo  2005-01-02 11:41:36 PM||   2005-01-02 11:41:36 PM|| Front Page Top

#48 mojo - Look at this page and see if you can locate it - there are quite a few from both LP's.
Posted by .com 2005-01-02 11:45:33 PM||   2005-01-02 11:45:33 PM|| Front Page Top

#49 Lh and I laughed about Ulysses some time back - how friggin' unreadable it was.

Trust me, you're not alone. Just scrolling through an entire Episode (in the pathological sense) so I find that one passage at the end was physically painful. Henry James is the only thing that comes close. Even reading a phone book has more entertainment value.

While Joyce himself may have been, at least, novel. Acting like you understand his content one whit is the height of pretension. I recommend the episode of Ripping Yarns titled, "Thompkinson's Schooldays." It is a superb sendup of Joyce's "Portrait of the Artist." Joyce makes reading Sean O'Casey feel like romping through a Tom Clancy novel.

Again, congratulations on catching the Joyce reference. You are the second person I've ever met who even knew of it. Thank you for your contributions to an enjoyable evening.
Posted by Zenster 2005-01-02 11:57:03 PM||   2005-01-02 11:57:03 PM|| Front Page Top

08:10 Hupailet Grereting6218
08:10 Hupailet Grereting6218
23:57 Zenster
23:54 Floting Granter5198
23:45 .com
23:41 mojo
23:37 Zenster
23:32 .com
23:23 Zenster
23:21 .com
23:09 .com
23:08 Zenster
23:06 .com
23:05 mojo
23:03 .com
22:59 Zenster
22:57 .com
22:56 .com
22:55 Zenster
22:48 .com
22:45 .com
22:42 GK
22:39 Zenster
22:38 .com

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