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2007-12-19 -Lurid Crime Tales-

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Posted by Fred 2007-12-19 00:00|| || Front Page|| [11135 views ] Top

#1 Poor guy. I feel so sorry for him. He'll probably get PTSD now. I'd better go replace him. It wouldn't hurt to have a real man on the job just in case it happens again.

Posted by gorb 2007-12-19 02:50|| 2007-12-19 02:50|| Front Page Top

#2 "I mean, who the hell gropes Santa Claus?"

I'm sure this month's issue of Playboy is full of cartoons on that theme. Not that I'd ever seen them. Nope. Never. That's if never is older than twenty or thirty years. Heh.

Posted by Procopius2k 2007-12-19 06:36|| 2007-12-19 06:36|| Front Page Top

#3 I saw Mommy groping Santa Claus
Outside of the toy store at the mall.

You should have heard him squeel
Her hands were cold as steel.

She must have thought he kept his wallet
in that g-string that he wore.

Posted by BrerRabbit 2007-12-19 07:08|| 2007-12-19 07:08|| Front Page Top

#4 LOL BrerRabbit

Posted by Thomas Woof 2007-12-19 07:42|| 2007-12-19 07:42|| Front Page Top

#5 "Wait, Lady, the candy and nuts are in the other sack."

Posted by Deacon Blues">Deacon Blues 2007-12-19 07:49|| 2007-12-19 07:49|| Front Page Top

#6 'Sorry, Santa, I thought you were giving me a candy cane...'

Posted by Raj 2007-12-19 08:00|| 2007-12-19 08:00|| Front Page Top

#7 looking for the "North Pole"?

Posted by Cyber Sarge 2007-12-19 08:40|| 2007-12-19 08:40|| Front Page Top

#8 Do we have a pic of the suspect? Is she hot or some 300lb troll? That could've been the difference between Santa's phone number and a night in the clink. Yes, I'm a shallow a-hole & I approve of this message.

Posted by Broadhead6 2007-12-19 08:55|| 2007-12-19 08:55|| Front Page Top

#9 tried yelling 'ho ho ho' in a bar one time without anything near this result.

Posted by swksvolFF 2007-12-19 11:00|| 2007-12-19 11:00|| Front Page Top

#10 She knew she was on the naughty list and was trying to move over to the good list, by being very good at being naughty.

Posted by DarthVader">DarthVader 2007-12-19 13:15|| 2007-12-19 13:15|| Front Page Top

#11 This particular mall Santa Claus is NOT a gentleman. A true Santa Claus - a real man who embodied the spirit of SC - would never complain or snitch to the authorities if a lady on his lap was overcome by an irresistable - albeit naughty -impluse.

Here's hoping the fake Santa Claus doesn't show up in court and charges against the impulsively naughty lady are dismissed.

(P.S. This topic has produced some of the best snark I've read at RB in a long while.)

Posted by Mark Z 2007-12-19 13:57|| 2007-12-19 13:57|| Front Page Top

#12 "And most of the time it is only my BEARD that gets pulled..."

Posted by USN,Ret. 2007-12-19 14:17|| 2007-12-19 14:17|| Front Page Top

#13 Q: "She was 33 years old. How'd she get in his lap without an invitation?"

A: She waited in line, like everyone else.

Posted by USN,Ret. 2007-12-19 14:18|| 2007-12-19 14:18|| Front Page Top

#14 From CNN, I think:

"You supposed to sit on his lap and TELL him what you want, not TAKE what you want."

Posted by Canuckistan 2007-12-19 17:01|| 2007-12-19 17:01|| Front Page Top

#15 OTOH, ION NEWSMAX > CHARLES R SMITH [satire] > SANTA COLLIDES WITH CHINESE MILITARY PLANE, over US-China toy recalls and other recall thingys.

* THE BAD NEWS IS THAT BY FLYING O'ER THE WORLD IN HIS SLEIGH, SANTA WAS FASCIST-LY RIGHTIST-LY ERGO ARROGANTLY BELLICOSE-Ly IMPERIALIST-LY VIOLATING THAT PIECE OF SACRED CHINESE TERRITORY KNOWN AS THE ENTIRE PACIFIC OCEAN/REGION.

Posted by JosephMendiola 2007-12-19 23:53|| 2007-12-19 23:53|| Front Page Top

23:56 JosephMendiola
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