Article

2006-11-18 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Archived material is restricted to Rantburg regulars and members. If you need access email fred.pruitt=at=gmail.com with your nick to be added to the members list. There is no charge to join Rantburg as a member.

Posted by Fred 2006-11-18 00:00|| || Front Page|| [11131 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 An education consultant friend met a boy in a New Jersey school named Shithead. Now that is name abuse.

Posted by Grunter 2006-11-18 01:06|| 2006-11-18 01:06|| Front Page Top

#2 I'm naming my next kid 'NoneOfTheAbove'. He'll have a bright future in politics.

Posted by DMFD 2006-11-18 01:24|| 2006-11-18 01:24|| Front Page Top

#3 An education consultant friend met a boy in a New Jersey school named $hithead

Heh heh, Johnny Cash would have been proud.

Posted by gorb 2006-11-18 01:27|| 2006-11-18 01:27|| Front Page Top

#4 A friend of mine taught some pre schoolers from
one family Faith, Hope and Paul. Obviously the boy screwed up the plan so to compensate they gave him the second name of Preditor. When I asked why the response was they just loved the movie.

Posted by Classer 2006-11-18 01:47|| 2006-11-18 01:47|| Front Page Top

#5 And then there's Grace.

Posted by .com 2006-11-18 01:49|| 2006-11-18 01:49|| Front Page Top

#6 From my college days, I knew a Chinese family with three daughters; April, May and June. Nice girls too.

Posted by Steve White">Steve White 2006-11-18 02:30|| 2006-11-18 02:30|| Front Page Top

#7 I think it will be a long time before someone beats this:
Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen

As a musician, Frank Zappa was pretty good, but as a father...I don't recall he had such a horrible childhood that he had to punish his children.

Posted by twobyfour 2006-11-18 02:34|| 2006-11-18 02:34|| Front Page Top

#8 I know a mechanic whose name is Rusty Wrench. His younger brother's name was Allen. Caught all kinds of hell for it when they were young.

Posted by gorb 2006-11-18 02:44|| 2006-11-18 02:44|| Front Page Top

#9 ...I call foul - my ex and I had chosen Keira for a girl's name in 1986.
(Of course, we picked it after watching Xanadu ...I know, I'm sorry...)

Mike

Posted by Mike Kozlowski 2006-11-18 08:46|| 2006-11-18 08:46|| Front Page Top

#10 Didntpulloutintime Jones

Posted by Frank G">Frank G 2006-11-18 10:00|| 2006-11-18 10:00|| Front Page Top

#11 I served with a woman who told me about an elementary school friend of hers whose family was so low-rent, as well as being completely unscathed by sophisication, that she (the friend) was the first ever to have been born in a hospital. When she was brought to her mother from the nursery, the mother looked at the little name-tag on her wrist which said "Female So-&-so" and assumed that the hospital had taken the liberty of naming the baby. So the poor kid was named "Female", pronouced "Fe-Molly". Everyone called her "Molly"...fortunatly.

Posted by Sgt. Mom 2006-11-18 10:33|| www.sgtryker.com]">[www.sgtryker.com] 2006-11-18 10:33|| Front Page Top

#12 Sixan Seveneights Farnam.

They put names in a hat and chose one.

Posted by KBK 2006-11-18 10:44|| 2006-11-18 10:44|| Front Page Top

#13 Jasmine
Jazzmine
(twin sisters)

Leroy
Leroi
(twin brothers)

I'm not making this up.
Cute for their parents, a nightmare for the kids, and a reason for teachers to go postal.

Posted by Shakahelia 2006-11-18 10:46|| 2006-11-18 10:46|| Front Page Top

#14 36 Arsenals of both sexes

Lessee ... British parents naming their infant boys and girls "Arsenal". The first week of school for those kids will be a real eye-opener.

Posted by mrp 2006-11-18 10:48|| 2006-11-18 10:48|| Front Page Top

#15 "As a musician, Frank Zappa was pretty good, but as a father...I don't recall he had such a horrible childhood that he had to punish his children."

If memory serves, Zappa turned out (despite the whole name thingy) to be infamously successful in raising polite, well-adjusted children who loved him to death. We should all be so lucky.

Posted by Ernest Brown">Ernest Brown 2006-11-18 12:17|| saturninretrograde.blogspot.com]">[saturninretrograde.blogspot.com] 2006-11-18 12:17|| Front Page Top

#16 I push papers in an office where all kinda fun names come across my desk. My all-time fave is:

Tutankhamun Adolphus Seniorjohnson

Seriously. Maybe someone down the hall was screwing with me, but that's how I filed him.

Posted by Vegas Matt 2006-11-18 12:29|| 2006-11-18 12:29|| Front Page Top

#17 Kismiass. George Kismiass.

Don't go to court.

"Name?"
"Kismiass, your Honor."
"What?"

Posted by Jereling Jiger3759 2006-11-18 12:31|| 2006-11-18 12:31|| Front Page Top

#18 I have to wonder if, when the kids are old enough, will they even know what Rap is, much less "..transient rap stars."" Sounds almost like someone living under a bridge and needs a quarter for bus fare home (riii-iiight)

Posted by USN, ret. 2006-11-18 12:36|| 2006-11-18 12:36|| Front Page Top

#19 Back when I used to hang out on alt.folklore.urban, we would periodically be bombarded by newbies telling us "new" legends we'd heard 1000 times before. A perpetual favorite was "funny names", like Fe-male and Shithead (pronounced Shi-thaid or Shi-theed), along with Nosmo King (it was above the door in the hospital), twins Lemonjello and Oranjello, and Syphilis and Gonorrhea (rhyme with Phyllis and Honoria).

Funny names were generally ascribed to certain ethnic or social groups, depending on whoever the teller thought were no-account low-rent morons. For example, when I was a kid I was told the Syphilis and Gonorrhea one, said to be the children of "some woman in Arkansas". Cause ain't nothin' lower to a Missouri redneck than an Arkansas redneck.

Posted by Angie Schultz 2006-11-18 13:04|| 2006-11-18 13:04|| Front Page Top

#20 DeNiro's SNL skit (video) on "terrorist" names...

Posted by .com 2006-11-18 13:09|| 2006-11-18 13:09|| Front Page Top

#21 Reviewing Child Support System documents I've seen; Darvon, Vagina (pronounced like Lasagna), Booger, Adderall, Kotex etc. but my personal favorite was Meconium. Nice job moms.

I'm sure we'll be reading about your kids someday in the Police Beat columns.

Posted by GORT 2006-11-18 13:15|| 2006-11-18 13:15|| Front Page Top

#22 met an 'Excreta' once.

Posted by Cheech">Cheech 2006-11-18 13:56|| 2006-11-18 13:56|| Front Page Top

#23 I have a moonbat friend who named his son Chalico. Years later he got a dog, named it Robert.

Then there's the NY Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burris.

Posted by wxjames 2006-11-18 17:47|| 2006-11-18 17:47|| Front Page Top

#24 Serious story on this one. Buddy of mine worked at our local music store. Kid and mom came in to rent a tuba or something (for marching band) and mom told him the kid's name was (pronunciation-wise) "Paaa-Juh-Mus". When she spelled it out on the application to rent the tuba, it was Pajamas.

Posted by BA 2006-11-18 20:11|| 2006-11-18 20:11|| Front Page Top

#25 I love Henry Cho's story about his Friend, JB, when JB filled out his drivers license app, put down his name as "J (only) B (only)". Drivers license came back as "Jonly Bonly".

Posted by Almost Anonymous5839">Almost Anonymous5839 2006-11-18 20:41|| 2006-11-18 20:41|| Front Page Top

#26 Hey Arsenal, you can shove your England up your arse!

Posted by MU 2006-11-18 20:59|| 2006-11-18 20:59|| Front Page Top

23:59 JosephMendiola
23:54 JosephMendiola
23:27 trailing wife
23:15 JosephMendiola
23:14 BA
22:55 BA
22:55 gorb
22:55 JosephMendiola
22:53 gorb
22:47 SteveS
22:39 KBK
22:34 JosephMendiola
22:34 Scooter McGruder
22:26 JosephMendiola
22:19 Mark Z
22:07 Iblis
21:46 RD
21:42 trailing wife
21:36 gorb
21:32 Steve White
21:31 trailing wife
21:16 Mick Dundee
21:15 gorb
21:12 MU