#1
If I dood it the mods will be mad at me... I dood it. Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."
"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!"
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"
A 6-year-old Park Slope girl is facing a $300 fine from the city for doing what city kids have been doing for decades: drawing a pretty picture with common sidewalk chalk.
(ht Drudge)
#1
Hey, this is Bloomsburg's city, if you can't do real art, you'll have to pay a hefty fine. Where do you think you are, Paris ?
Somebody hold this kid down while I cuff her. No time to book her now, we've got a '416' in Elmhurst, saturated fat.
#2
The report came in as graffiti, and, as you know, the city is trying to crack down on graffiti on private property, said agency spokeswoman Cathy Dawkins.
Its a standard warning letter, added Dawkins. The property owner has 45 days to remove it or ask the city to remove it. Well inspect after that, and if the graffiti is still there, the property owner has another 60 days before well write a summons.
For sidewalk chalk that would dissolve at the first rain? Dawkins said the law is on her agencys side.
The instrument used whether its paint or chalk does not matter, she said.
Ms. Dawkins, stand and hear the verdict of the Rantburg Superior Court of Common Sense. You are guilty of felony stupidity in the first degree, with a special circumstance of public-sector bureaucratic hackery. You are hereby sentenced to write 100,000 times, "I will not be a drooling, diaper-soiling idiot on the taxpayers' dime." On the sidewalk in front of the Department of Sanitation offices. In chalk.
Posted by: Ricky bin Ricardo (Abu Babaloo) ||
10/17/2007 15:35 Comments ||
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#3
Next time, honey, piss on a crucifix.
They'll give ya a friggin grant...
The law is a ass. As are those that passed it in this form and more those that enforce it thus - see zero-tolerance statutes for more examples.
I recently read some website thread where one of the commenters made the point that, far beyond any threat from the feds, the greatest threats to most peoples' liberties come from local tyranny.
The python that found its way into her toilet. Forget the monsters under the bed. There really are slithery creatures lurking in the pipes.
Nature's call forced Nadege Brunacci, 38, to the dark bathroom in her Cobble Hill, Brooklyn, apartment in the wee hours of Monday morning. While washing her hands, she glanced back at the toilet to find a 7-foot-long python staring back at her. "I turned on the light and screamed, 'Oh, my God!'" said the hiss-sterical restaurateur. "It still makes my heart race."
She slammed down the lid, put a heavy box on top of it and began calling city agencies. Most didn't believe her, and the ones that did told her, "We don't do snakes," she said.
Finally, the FDNY and her landlord came to the rescue.
Plumbers had to tear apart the downstairs neighbor's pipes to capture the serpent, which had retreated so that only its head poked through Brunacci's toilet.
"I was anxious about it getting flushed and never coming out," said Valerie Ross, 41, from whose apartment the snake was extricated. "I'm happy it's out. Now I'm just unhappy about the holes in my pipes."
Nobody knows where the snake came from, or how it made its way up three stories of piping, but a first-floor tenant in the four-story Tiffany Place walkup reported seeing the creature slithering down the basement steps eight days earlier.
Brunacci gave the snake to a friend who offered it a loving home and named it Nadege. City Health Department regulations prohibit keeping a python as a pet.
The creature may be gone from her flat, but the shattering of an urban legend has forced Brunacci to keep her eyes peeled every time she uses the bathroom. "When I brush my teeth, I'm looking over my shoulder," she said. And when she goes to the bathroom at night, she uses her daughter's training toilet.
#1
Somebody found the snake too big to handle and abandoned it. Either that, or it got to big to handle and escaped. Snakes like pipes. The hot water piped keep them warm, and the mice and bugs running along the pipes enable the snakes to make a living.
(begin rant) WHY IN BLAZES DON'T PEOPLE DO THEIR HOMEWORK BEFORE GETTING ANY KIND OF PET? Find out how big it gets, how long it lives, and figure out how you're going to take care of it before buying it! (end rant)
I initially envisaged posting this with the Ron Jeremy or John Holmes pic in the archive, but I thought it might have been considered a tad tasteless...
#7
My friend Mick had a forty foot dick
showed it to the lady next door.
She thought it was a snake, hit it with a rake
and now its only four foot, four.
#8
Pythons can kill humans by constricting with sufficient force to stop blood circulation for 3 minutes. However, studies have shown that to do so the creature would have to be at least 15 foot long. A 7 footer couldn't kill an adult.
LOGAN A comedy hypnotist's show didn't leave many people laughing when a 17-year-old girl had to be hospitalized.
Logan police said the show was put on last week at Logan High School for homecoming.
Logan Police Capt. Eric Collins said he was attending a girl's volleyball game next to the auditorium and came out of the gymnasium to see the 17-year-old girl being wheeled into an ambulance.
"She was hyperventilating and very panicky," Collins said Monday. "I went inside to see what was going on, and it was kind of chaotic. The hypnotist was in the audience going around to different people in the audience attempting to get them out of a state of hypnosis."
Police said several young women had problems and were not able to snap out of their hysteria hypnosis easily. The show ended up being canceled by school officials, officers said.
Two people were killed and at least 16 others injured in separate clashes in Nishchintopur, Barishat and Jagla villages in last two days. NIne year-old Hossain was critically injured when he was hacked during a clash between two rival groups over a family feud at Nishchintopur village in Sadar upazila. He succumbed to his injuries yesterday at Magura Sadar Hospital. He was the son of Siddique Mondol, police said.
In Barishat village in Sreepur upazila, a man identified as Mokaddes Hossain was killed and six others were seriously injured when two rival groups clashed with lethal weapons on Monday. The groups were backed by Molla Nabuot Ali and Zahur Chowdhury.
Five of the seriously injured persons were admitted to Magura Sadar Hospital. They are Humayan, Mintu, Baharul, Shefali and Jamirul.
at Jagla village in Sadar upazila, rival villagers led by Nabir Hossain and Moktar Hossain clashed on the Eid day (Sunday) injuring at least 11 people, seven of them critically. The critically injured persons were admitted to the Sadar hospital. They are Nabir Hossain, Rahmat Ali, Akhiron, Erina, Tunu Bibi, Rabeya and Meri.
Posted by: Fred ||
10/17/2007 00:00 ||
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#3
It is a sad commentary that a step in the right direction means wasting 12 hours of testimony to tell someone whose not supposed to be living here in the first place that they don't rate services that legal citizens rate.
The police on Friday arranged an agreement between the Muslims and Christians of Gowindh village in which the followers of both religions have been told to respect each other and follow the Loudspeaker and Sound Amplifier Ordinance of 1964.
The agreement also ended the Christian communitys social boycott by Muslims. In the agreement, the Muslims have apologised to the Christians for desecrating the church and hurting their religious sentiments. Muslim villagers had boycotted the Christians after a mob of Muslims attacked the villages only church. Muslim villagers said they had been asking the Christians for months not to use the churchs loudspeaker for the morning service, which was held at the same time as Fajr prayers (morning prayers). However, they said, the Christian community did not pay heed. On October 10, a Muslim mob forced into the church, shouted slogans against the Christians, cut the loudspeakers wire and put manure on the church walls.
The superintendent of police sent Supervisory Police Officer (SPO) Athar Ismail to the village to reconcile between the two communities soon after the incident. The villagers signed the agreement under the supervision of the SPO and senior police officers including the Hadiyara Police station house officer. Ismail told Daily Times that the police had organised a peaceful gathering of representative of both communities. He said that the police had found in the inquiry that the Muslims had desecrated the church. He said Haji Yasin and Molvi Rasheed were the two main people behind the incident. He said he had warned them against disturbing peace in the village again. He said he had also told the Muslims against misusing loudspeakers.
The SPO said that 100 Muslims had participated in the meeting. He said they submitted a written apology to the Christians. He said he had told the Muslims that being the majority, it was their duty to safeguard the rights of the minority. He added that he had asked the Hadiyara SHO to visit the village frequently. Peter Gill, a former member of the Punjab Assembly (MPA) from the village, also confirmed that the two communities had reached an agreement.
Gowindh is a village on the India-Pakistan border in the Hadiyara police precinct. The village has a population of around 10,000 with only 25 Christian families. There are eight mosques and only one church at the village.
Posted by: Fred ||
10/17/2007 00:00 ||
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#2
the cristians are certainly not saints are they, it was a bit rude to blare morning prayer over loud speakers durin g the muislims morning prayers, which are quiet. I was in the Philippines doing an aid mission in Zamboanga a couple years ago and witnessed the total bigotry of the catholics regarding the muslims, I also lived in jerusalem in 1983 for 2 months and witnessed incredable bigotry towards the palistinians for the jews, it was as bad as the bigotry the soutern whites held for the blacks back in the 50's. A little courtesy and acceptance would go a long way towards changing the negative attitudes that arise from thinking YOU and yours are the ONLY correct way.
#3
uh huh...by the way spellcheck for foreigners is available as a free download
Posted by: Frank G ||
10/17/2007 21:19 Comments ||
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#4
Mr. Wife told of the call to prayer when he lived in Cairo blasting from each mosque's loudspeakers, each trying to outdo the other in volume and piety, and not one with his timepiece inaccurate to the same degree as the rest. He much preferred when we lived across from the church with the bell tower in Germany -- at least all the German churchbells rang out at the same time, even if with different melodies. He also told of Saudis getting drunk and mistreating the Mena House hotel staff on New Years Eve, because they think of Egyptians as abd.
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
The python that found its way into her toilet. Forget the monsters under the bed. There really are slithery creatures lurking in the pipes.
By Ben Winslow Deseret Morning News
Two people were killed and at least 16 others injured in separate clashes in Nishchintopur, Barishat and Jagla villages in last two days. NIne year-old Hossain was critically injured when he was hacked during a clash between two rival groups over a family feud at Nishchintopur village in Sadar upazila. He succumbed to his injuries yesterday at Magura Sadar Hospital. He was the son of Siddique Mondol, police said.
The police on Friday arranged an agreement between the Muslims and Christians of Gowindh village in which the followers of both religions have been told to respect each other and follow the Loudspeaker and Sound Amplifier Ordinance of 1964.
