There was a reference to fixing guillotines in the comments the other day and I received the following from a friend today. I will understand if the mods chop this, but I thought it might resonate with some 'burgers and in case there are some you haven't heard, start the weekend with a smile.
Understanding Engineers One
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
#1
What's the difference between a physicist, an engineer and a mathematician?
One night a physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician were staying in a hotel. By coincidence, a small fire broke out in each of their rooms.
The physicist woke up, did some quick calculations, determined it would take one cup of water to put the fire out. He threw a cup of water on the fire and went back to bed.
The engineer also woke up, did some quick calculations, determined it would take one cup of water to put the fire out. He threw a cup and a half of water on the fire and went back to bed.
The mathematician woke up, did some quick calculations. He said "Aha! There is a solution!" and went back to bed.
(Yes, I was a math major.)
Posted by: Rambler in Virginia ||
06/12/2010 0:14 Comments ||
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#4
" I thought the Engineer got the answer from the Big Book of Small Hotel Fires?"
If so it was obviously the "Red Book", and not the "Blue Book" as the blue book has been shown to have suffered from the early Pentium rounding error somewhere it its maths and produced inaccurate results. In those cases the engineer goes nuts attempting to measure out 1.499999998 cups of water before being burned up in the flames that eventually engulf the entire room.
It turns out that each of them had miscalculated (possibly due to the Red Book/Blue Book controversy that crosspatch mentioned). As a result, the fires did not go out, but continued to grow.
The physicist and engineer woke up to the larger fire and kept calculating to find the solution to the larger fire. Sad to say, they did not find a solution in time.
The mathematician, upon waking up, realized that by this time there was no solution. As a result, he escaped.
Like I said, I was a math major. I am NOT a mathematician, however.
Posted by: Rambler in Virginia ||
06/12/2010 15:01 Comments ||
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#6
A lady with several liberal arts degrees in theatre and like photography or something I know calculated (and correctly I might add) that the best route to an engineers heart is acting so dumb that he has the constant need to correct her miscalculations and drama. The equation is called pie times the square route of an idiot. The woman is my stepmother who to this day doesn't work. And the man is...my father who supports her. ooops.
#7
Clineng Poodle6890, let me speak to the issue you raise, as I, too, am married to an engineer. While many engineers, practical men that they are, marry nurses (or doctors in these non-sexist times) or something equally useful, a few odd ones feel the need for something impractical and artistic, a medieval walled garden in which to indulge the other side of their brains. No matter how it may look, or what your stepmother may think about her manipulative skills, it is highly likely your father got exactly what he wanted. I speak with the authority of being Mr. Wife's rose garden, and the friend of a number of nurses and doctors married to engineers; I had planned on being a career woman, you see (because a double major in math and dance leads to such things, right?), but he knew after a few minute's acquaintance that I was meant for other things and was fine with that. Eventually I figured it out, too, with no manipulation involved.
#8
True Story.
A good friend of mine spent more than 40 years as a petroleum engineer working in the oil well drilling industry. The last 15 years of his carreer he spent as a drilling consultant for BP. Since the Deepwater Horizon disaster he has been besieged daily by journalists trying to get dirt on BP. Several days ago he finally aquienced and agreed to answer questions from a group of about 30 journalists and writers. After the interview I asked him how it went. "Horrible" he said, "the answers to questions they asked, even broken down into the simplest technological form, were so far over their heads not even one of them could understand what I was trying to explain. Who knows what they will write about or quote me as saying. It was worse than trying to explain the theory of relativity to a class full first graders."
"How so?" I asked.
"First graders don't think they know more about the theory of relativity than Einstein." He said.
#2
McKnight is correct. These people are time locked in a 7th Century Islamic warped world of denial, hate, and vengence. There is no compromise or rehabilitation. The only thing that could possibly make matters worse would be if they were nuclear armed. Oh wait......
Ever wonder why the muslims built that mosque on Temple Mount? Ever wonder why the Israelis even put up with it? Do you think it would be any different here?
The audio is pretty quiet once he gets talking, so you will probably have to turn it up in the meantime.
#2
A very great many Americans elected Obama...they knew what he was...there's no excuse for being a fool. Try saying it, " a great many Americans are chickensh8t fools".
there are a whole generation of Liberal chubbies and PC American fools, suburban twinkies who will allow a fat Mullah to hike up his skirt and flop his balls on their noses while he wee-wees in their ear.
And most Americans have never served their country and spit on the men who have. They send somebody else to die and build a Mosque over their graves and sip cappuchino.
Only six men in a hundred will fight in this country and the rest have earrings and watch CNN.
Allow me to tell you something about Human Nature.
Only six men out of a hundred will pull the trigger and shoot you in the face, the rest will make noises and fire in the air. Five of those six dont like to do it...but one of the six DOES.
You dont know who he is, even he didnt know it until he did it the first time. Stay away from that man.
Those are the men you need to take care of your Mosque for you. In a country of 330 million there are enough of them...and they can take you anytime they please. Dont motivate them.
Remember Caeceuscu in Romania back in '89? What happened to him? He finally pushed the people so far that they were motivated to die rather than see him live another day.... and all over Romania men who had guns picked them up and loaded them.
And the streets filled with such men in hours. They came from all directions all independent but all of them determined on the same damn thing.
#4
Well done video and brilliantly articulated case. It explains why Muslims so often say different things in English that they later contradict to Arabic audiences. Gotta wonder why he chose to do it on the street though, with the audio problems likely to go with that.
#5
If this mosque goes up it will be the same as if the muslims defecated on the graves of three thousand 911 victims and thumbed their noses at the rest of us. The muslims are two-faced about their aims. We keep laboring under the illusion that there are two islams; the moderate and the violent. They both believe in the same Koran. The Koran is as the fellow above says in the clip; there is a face for muslims and another face for infidels. The islamic religion is supremist in nature; everyone but a muslim is viewed as lesser and inferior.
No doubt my observations about Obama's remoteness from the rhythms of American life will be seen by his dwindling band of beleaguered cheerleaders as just another racist, right-wing attempt to whip up the backwoods knuckle-dragging swamp-dwellers of America by playing on their fears of the other' the sophisticated, worldly cosmopolitan for whom France is more than a reliable punchline. But in fact my complaint is exactly the opposite: Obama's postmodern detachment is feeble and parochial. It's true that he hadn't seen much of America until he ran for president, but he hadn't seen much of anywhere else, either. Like most multiculturalists, he's passed his entire adulthood in a very narrow unicultural environment where your ideological worldview doesn't depend on anything so tedious as actually viewing the world. The aforementioned Michael Ignatieff, who actually has viewed the world, gets close to the psychology in his response to criticisms of him for spending so much time abroad. Deploring such provincialism,' he replied: They say it makes me less of a Canadian. It makes me more of a Canadian.'
Well, yes, you can see what he's getting at. Today, to be an educated citizen of a mature Western democracy Canada or Germany, England or Sweden is not to feel Canadian or German, English or Swedish, heaven forbid, but rather to regard oneself as a citoyen du monde. Obviously, if being more Canadian' requires one literally to be a Harvard professor or a BBC TV host or an essayist for the Guardian, then very few actual Canadians would pass the test. What he really means is that in a post-national, post-modern Western world, the definition of Canadian' (and Dutch and Belgian and Irish) is how multicultural and globalized you feel. The U.N., Greenpeace, Amnesty International, Bono: these are the colors a progressive, worldly Westerner nails to his mast. You don't need to go anywhere, or do anything: You just need to pick up the general groove, which you can do very easily at almost any college campus.
Posted by: Mike ||
06/12/2010 08:00 ||
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#1
Once again Mr. Steyn nails it. Although, done right, travel really does broaden the mind, by exposing one to different possibilities, thus limning the strengths and weaknesses of the one's own country.
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
