So while "Jewish comic" is practically a redundancy, "Muslim comic" is an oxymoron. Well, not quite. There are Muslim comics (all American or Canadian, of course), and in the months following 9-11 they got together with Jewish comics and did some shows. Not only that, they seem to have adopted "the same vein of nebbishy, underdog humor that became the trademark of Woody Allen and his imitators."
Somehow I just can't quite imagine... Mahmoud bin Shekky? But maybe I can...
"Salaam aleikum, ladies and germs. I just flew in from the Gulf and, boy, are my arms tired... My feet are tired, too. I had to cross the Iraqi no-fly zone... My third wife was stopped on the way home from the beauty parlor by the religious police because she dropped her veil. They flogged the staff of the beauty shop... My cousin, Hassan? The one who couldn't get a job? He finally found work. He plays the antiaircraft gun in an Afghan wedding band... We had my cousin Ahmed over the other night. He ate all the goat we had. He leans back and he sez, 'Boy! If I eat another bite, I'm gonna explode.' We called out for more goat and sent him to a disco in Tel Aviv... I know you're out there, I can hear you breathing. Maybe I can't. Is it a gas attack?..."
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 11:30 am ||
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How about a nice Muslim wine?
"I wanna go to Mecca!"
Posted by: Mike Cakora ||
08/12/2002 18:18 Comments ||
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Fred, you have a great future as court jester to Osama. One of your fondest dreams I'm sure. I emailed Howard at Kesher Talk about the missing link (which would be an archive by now) - I hope to get you a working link soon.
-- Judith
An American soldier died of wounds received two weeks ago while hunting for Taliban and al-Qaida fighters in Afghanistan. Sgt. 1st Class Christopher James Speer, 28, of Albuquerque, N.M., was among five U.S. soldiers injured in an ambush on July 27 in the east of Afghanistan. He died Wednesday. Bastards...
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 04:59 pm ||
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Al-Qaeda is re-arming through the "Tribal Territories" of Pakistan, with the complicity of Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence agency. If Bush had made an alliance with India, the entire sub-continent would now be a shooting gallery, with the Islamists as the targets. American soldiers will pay dearly for the US President's deal with the devil.
From WorldTribune.com, not the most reliable source...
Israel has determined that Iraq is preparing a missile strike that could be launched at any time. Officials said the government has prepared a series of plans to defend against and retaliate for any Iraqi missile attack on Israel. They said the plans were discussed and endorsed by the United States. "Israel should be prepared to face an Iraqi attack at any moment," Israeli Science Minister Matan Vilnai said. Israel's plans include the deployment of additional assets to defend against any Iraqi missile attack. Officials said Israel wants to deploy two Arrow-2 missile defense batteries, Middle East Newsline reported. One Arrow-2 battery has been operational at an air force base in southwestern Israel. A second Arrow-2 battery is meant for deployment at Ein Shemer, east of the coastal city of Hadera. A missile attack on Israel might win Sammy points in the Arab street, but so far the Arab street has yet to send troops to one of these little hoe-downs. When the press gangs go out and round them up, they show a distressing tendency to go home as soon as possible, rather than fight to the death for whoever the current dictator is â be it Sammy in the last Gulf War or Mullah Omar.
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 10:30 am ||
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Such an attack won't win him any points if the IDF shoots it down over Jordan.
Posted by: Tom Roberts ||
08/12/2002 12:07 Comments ||
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A senior Lebanese Shiite Muslim cleric issued a fatwa Monday banning Muslims from helping the United States and its allies in any military strike on Iraq. In his religious edict, Grand Ayatollah Mohammed Hussein Fadlallah also reminded Muslims throughout the world that God prohibits assisting "infidels" against Muslims. Mullah Fudlallah is the founder and spiritual advisor to Hezbollah, among his other duties. Guess he's a nice, unbiased source...
Fatwas are followed by conservative Muslims and sanction or prohibit acts according to Islamic sharia law. "It is not permissible to assist America and its allies in striking the Iraqi people or enabling it (America) to control their economic resources, natural wealth and general policy," Fadlallah said. "But it is permissible to kill as many Jews as you want. That's okay."
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 10:30 am ||
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Via Drudge, quoting the Mirror, so reliability is probably pretty low...
Saddam Hussein is moving his Government into underground bunkers to prepare for a US and British attack. From his hideout 160ft down, the Iraqi tyrant yesterday sent out a defiant message to the West. "If they come, we are ready," he said. "We will fight them on the streets, from the rooftops, from house to house. We will never surrender. "That is what Churchill promised the invaders threatening England. And that is what we can promise the crusaders if they come here." Sammy quoting Churchill? And his lips didn't fall off? I notice we're crusaders again, too...
The warning was delivered through Labour MP George Galloway during an interview an hour's drive from Baghdad. Galloway didn't turn into a pillar of salt at Churchill's name? I guess God naps, too â or he's saving him for better things...
Entire ministries are thought to be leaving their permanent headquarters, likely to be targeted for cruise missile attack, and moving into command bunkers. Yup. That should increase the efficiency of the government no end.
Mr Galloway said communications between ministries and Saddam were being relayed by word of mouth to beat high-tech US eavesdropping. That's pretty hilarious, too. If they use their communications gear, they expect their plans to be intercepted and decoded by the Merkins and the Brits. If they rely on runners, they're back communicating in the mode of 150 years ago, with both volumn of communication and quality floating in the toilet. Best move now would be for the U.S. to continue making faces at them for another six months, making the faces more fearsome every time they venture out of their holes. Then, maybe next February they can pop up like little Middle Eastern groundhogs and the West can holler "Fooled ya!" They can fight a war or not at that point; the rest of the world will be so busy laughing at Sammy it won't notice.
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 10:30 am ||
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Baghdad's information minister rejected the need for a resumption of U.N. weapons inspections in Iraq, saying Monday inspectors had finished their work four years ago when they left the country in advance of U.S. and British air strikes. They thought it was self-preservation at the time, but they were wrong, apparently...
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf told Al-Jazeera in an interview that the Bush administration was "confused" and was making inspections into an issue in an attempt to use them as a tool in the latest showdown between Washington and Baghdad. Who wouldn't be "confused"? One day they're coming back, the next they were done four years ago...
"The work within the U.N. concerning (prohibited weapons) in Iraq, this work has been achieved. They say that it hasn't been achieved. They claim something remains. This talk can be responded to and disproved," al-Sahhaf said in the interview conducted in Iraq and monitored in Cairo, Egypt. Go ahead and disprove it. Show us all the WMD you don't have...
"This is a lie," he said of Washington's insistence Iraq still possesses weapons of mass destruction. "Inspections have finished in Iraq." If they don't have any WMD, wouldn't they want to prove it?
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 10:57 am ||
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A report on Iranian terrorist training camps was compiled by the People's Mujahideen, an Iraqi-backed Marxist guerrilla group which stages raids into Iran. Otherwise known as Mujahideen-e-Khalq, it is itself on a western list of terrorist organisations. They're also funded by Iraq. That might have something to do with the timing of the report's "leak"...
The foreign terrorist trainees are said to be split into two groups: one, numbering at least 50, based at Imam Ali Garrison in Teheran; the other, with 22 recruits, at Bahonar Garrison, a Qods base at Karaj Damp, north of the capital. Trainee terrorists are permitted to drink alcohol and engage in "immoral" or "irreligious" conduct to hide their true intentions. Recruits are identified at political gatherings in their home countries by Iranian agents. Trainees, some of whom will be sent back to their countries to recruit and train others, are told that hiding their connection with the Teheran regime is essential. The dossier quotes a commander at Bahonar as saying: "Subsequent to September 11, our activities have become more sensitive." But naturally. It may be an open secret, but it's still a secret. It's called plausible deniability...
Mohammed Mohadessin, a foreign relations official with the Paris-based Iranian National Council of Resistance, one of the main opposition groups, said the export of Islamic revolution through terrorism was a central doctrine of Iran's ruling mullahs. Twenty minutes reading up on Hezbollah convinces a body of that...
The Qods Force and its recruits were constantly active in countries neighbouring Iran and as far afield as the Balkans, France and South America, he said.
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 12:31 pm ||
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Various state and federal law enforcement officials increased patrols on and around the Golden Gate Bridge on Sunday after bridge district officials learned of a potential terrorist threat 11 months after attacks on New York and Washington. Ummm... The way that's written, it sounds like they took eleven months to learn about the threat, but that it was contemporaneous with the 9-11 attack...
The bridge was placed on a "super-heightened" state of alert after information was shared through an interagency coalition Friday, said Mary Currie, spokeswoman for the Golden Gate Bridge Highway & Transportation District. The California Highway Patrol, FBI, U.S. Coast Guard, Federal Aviation Administration and other agencies "all aggressively are doing exactly what needs to be done to protect and keep the Golden Gate Bridge secure," Currie said. Are they doing a better job that at the airports?
Harold C. Brown, told the Contra Costa Times the FBI was gauging the credibility of a threat that terrorists planned to crash an aircraft into the span. That's a worse threat than attacking the bridge with plastic cutlery. Credible or not, I'd guess that once the mission's compromised, the Bad Guys have dropped it...
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 10:37 am ||
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A Yemeni man convicted of rape and armed robbery was beheaded Monday, the Interior Ministry said. Mohammed bin Hassan bin Ali was found guilty of breaking into several homes, threatening their residents with a knife, raping women and stealing their jewelry. The execution was carried out in the holy city of Mecca in western Saudi Arabia, bringing to 30 the number of people executed this year in the conservative kingdom. Holy cities are the best places to lop people's heads off...
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 10:30 am ||
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I wonder what the legal standard is in Mecca, Beyond a reasonable suspicion? Innocent until proven a non-Muslim? Tag, your guilty...
The IDF will reimpose curfews on the West bank towns of Ramallah, Jenin and Bethlehem Monday evening, after they were lifted earlier. According to the report, the curfew on Hebron has been lifted until further notice. The towns of Nablus, Qalqilya and Tulkarm remained under curfew for the whole day, the report said. Those Jews, they just do that because they don't like Paleostinians. The bombings, the corpses, that stuff, that's just an excuse...
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 10:30 am ||
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Palestinian factions meeting Monday to create a "national unity leadership" to include all major groups — including militant ones such as Hamas — endorsed a continuation of their uprising and rejected language to end attacks on civilians inside Israel. No great surprise there...
The Palestinian factions have been holding talks in Gaza City with the aim of establishing a unified Palestinian position in preparation for elections and other planned reforms after almost two years of Mideast fighting. Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat's Fatah movement was the driving force behind the meetings, and it offered a draft proposal that called for an end to attacks against civilians inside Israel, participants at the talks said. Something along the line of the statement Tanzim issued, probably...
However, that language was scrapped during debate among the factions. The final draft does not mention ending attacks, and instead appears to endorse the ongoing Palestinian uprising. "We stress the legitimacy of our resistance against the (Israeli) aggression and the occupation, and the Israeli settlements," the draft now says. Appears to? Like Anne Boleyn appeared to be dead...
All factions have agreed to the draft in principle, though Hamas was still consulting its leadership before formalizing its acceptance. They probably still consider it too wimpy. They'll want to add something about blood and gutz and sending the Jews to Mars...
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 10:52 am ||
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Palestinian sources said Monday that in the Jenin area Israeli troops killed a member of the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, the military wing of Fatah. The man was identified as Ghazal Farahat, 23. His family said they were asleep in their beds when soldiers burst into the house overnight and detained Ghazal. Shortly afterwards they heard gunshots and were later told by the soldiers they had killed him. Israeli officials said Farahat was killed after he tried to escape by climbing down a drain pipe of the house. They didn't cuff him when they picked him up? Bad IDF. No bagel...
Farahat's father, Mohammed, said soldiers came to his house and arrested Ghazal. "They took Ghazal behind the house...and after a few minutes we heard shots, and then a jeep came and the soldiers came in and told me: we have killed Ghazal," the father said. After the troops left, the family found Ghazal's bullet-riddled body behind the house, Freihat said. They didn't even take the corpse with them? You can't leave those things just lying around, you know...
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 05:38 pm ||
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Yemen and the United Arab Emirates (UAE), as well as Iran, have sent home dozens of Saudi Arabians, suspected of fighting with the Taliban or belonging to Osama bin Ladenâs Al-Qaeda network. Al-Hayat, quoting informed sources, said dozens more Saudis suspected of similar activities continued to return home under the own steam. All the suspects are interrogated by the Saudi authorities, who have freed all those against whom there is no proof of ties to Osama bin Laden's network, the Arabic newspaper said. "You got a copy of the contract you signed with Binny?"
"Nope. I lost it."
"No proof, then. Get the hell out of here."
"Hokay."
"And take this antitank weapon with you. It's filty."
Posted by: Fred Pruitt ||
08/12/2002 05:32 pm ||
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A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
