Ouch...
The 44-year-old married Chicago man was lured in 2003 by the promise of a longer and thicker penis. Jeez, doc. tell me more...
Thousands of dollars and multiple surgeries later, the man has something "that doesn't even resemble a penis," said his attorney, Lawrence Griffin. "It's absolutely grotesque." ...and he's a lawyer, so he'd know about grotesque pricks.
Dozens of Chicago men have the same shrunken deformities, and each alleges Dr. Sheldon Burman was the one who convinced them his surgery could provide them with something that nature did not. ...a shriveled up deformed johnson...
But based on the repeated horror stories emerging from his Male Sexual Dysfunction Clinic at 3401 N. Central Ave. -- 45 malpractice claims have been filed against Burman -- state officials recently moved to revoke his medical license. Okay. 45. That's enough! Shut him down.
That action comes after millions of dollars in judgments against Burman and his clinic, and as the American Urological Association labeled the penis-enlargement procedure he promotes as unsafe."[Burman] has got a track record of a lot of horrendous acts," said attorney Robert Strelecky, whose Clifford Law Offices recently won a $454,000 verdict against Burman on behalf of a 57-year-old Chicago man whose small intestine was punctured while fat was drained from his abdomen so it could be injected into his penis, enlarging it. Sure, doc. Sounds good to me...
Burman said he stands by every one of the thousands of procedures he estimates he's done since 1981. He knows there are critics who say he's selling fantasies to those with self-esteem issues and acknowledges a majority of his patients have normal-sized penises. Trust me, son. You'll need training wheels for it when I'm through with you...
But he swears by the vacuum and stretching devices available on his Web site, www.lengthandgirth.com, and vows his surgeries can provide a penis with an extra half-inch of length and a 50 percent increase in girth. No, I haven't gotten a chance to checkout the website, but I gotta feeling it ain't gonna be too pretty... Burman, 80, was once a well-respected heart surgeon until a 1981 car accident limited his mobility and he began operating on penises. A heart, a dick...what's the difference? Right, doc? He said he is self-taught in the procedure and has no formal background in urology or plastic surgery. Oh, boy! Where do I sign, doc?
And when leading medical groups and urologists bashed his practice as harmful, he and a handful of other doctors created their own group -- the American Academy of Phalloplasty Surgeons -- and deemed the procedures safe. Hey, back off, man! I'm a Phalloplastic Surgeon! Wanna see my union card?
"Most of the men I've treated write me letters to tell me what a wonderful difference this has made in their lives," Burman said from his Highland Park home. "And, really, no matter how awful the initial results might appear, it doesn't take much fine tuning to get a more desirable result." Oh, don't worry. That'll clear right up. When? Ummmmmmmm...soon. Right after the "fine tuning"...
There are few doctors in the country who perform penis-enlargement surgeries, according to Dr. Lawrence Ross, urology professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago, and "it's really frowned upon. It's not sanctioned, not considered appropriate and in many cases, is dangerous." Dr. Ira Sharlip, of the American Urological Association, said so few doctors perform the surgery "because the results are not good," adding "nothing works for increasing penile size." Jeez, that's not what all these emails say, doc? And would a porn site lie to me?
Burman has also faced lawsuits based on work he did to insert implants in penises to help with erectile dysfunction -- a largely approved, last-resort surgical procedure. He's accused of improperly inserting rods or not providing post-operative guidance, allowing penises to become infected and, ultimately, disfigured. Something's blocking it. Give me the croquet mallet, Eyegore... Blames patients The ungrateful bastards!
"We see infections, sloughing of penile skin, and we have to go back and reconstruct or graft the penis," he said. Eyegore, hand me my Dremel...
There are seven malpractice claims pending against Burman in Cook County Circuit Court, though he says most of them are frivolous. Burman says patients are to blame when procedures go wrong -- saying many don't follow post-operative steps like cleansing and weighting it down, to ensure a bigger penis. Did he say "weighting it down"? I thought that's what he said...
"Eyegore, make sure the patient takes home the 2 kg weight ..."
Though he says he no longer practices and has closed his office, other attorneys say he has stopped practicing before, only to start again. Burman acknowledges he still takes calls from patients and will help guide them to other doctors -- members of his organization -- who still perform the enlargement surgery. Suuuuuuure. I can help you out...
"I've had a very exciting and gratifying career," Burman said. "I feel as if I've done a lot of good for a lot of people." Mostly lawyers...
#2
"...and he's a lawyer, so he'd know about grotesque pricks."
ROFLMAO! :-D
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut ||
09/25/2006 19:41 Comments ||
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#3
whatever doesn't tear it off you (approx 3 kg needed) makes you stronger, with a pixie stix-sized penis...but longer
Posted by: Frank G ||
09/25/2006 19:49 Comments ||
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#4
Don't mess around with your penis.
Dragging around weights on the penis will not enhance it's functionality.
Elective penis surgery is not a good idea.
They would do better to network blind girls.
LOS ANGELES (AP) - The Democratic candidate for governor of California said Sunday that if elected he would call immediately on President Bush to withdraw California National Guard troops from Iraq. "I will do everything in my power, as governor, to bring our National Guard units home," Phil Angelides said.
Angelides, the state treasurer, acknowledged he could not recall the troops on his own. He said he would consider filing a lawsuit or taking other steps against the Bush administration to seek their return.
A lawsuit or 'other steps'. Boy that's decisive leadership.
A spokeswoman for Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's campaign, Katie Levinson, said in a statement that Angelides' remarks "are just more of the same irresponsible political rhetoric." In an NBC interview in February, Schwarzenegger defended Bush's decision to go to war but said the country should "get out as quickly as possible, but also in a sensible way."
Earlier this year, Angelides opposed Bush's request to put Guard troops on the border with Mexico. Schwarzenegger agreed to send 1,300 troops but refused a later request for more. The governor has control over troops requested for border missions.
Posted by: Steve White ||
09/25/2006 01:06 ||
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#1
Rudy Perpich, the then-governor of Minnesota, tried the lawsuit thing back in the 1980s to prevent the eeeeevil warmongering Reagan cabal from sending the Guard to Central America to crush the democratic people's socialist paradise of Nicaragua. IIRC, he lost. Big time.
"Notice me! Notice me!" Angelides shrieked, stamping his tiny feet in impotent rage. "I'm your next governor. Me! Not that damned Nazi bodybuilder. I'm for progressive taxation and more welfare and a man's right not to pay child support A Woman's Right To Choose and hey! Why is my font getting so small? . . . "
Posted by: Mike ||
09/25/2006 7:04 Comments ||
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#2
Once they are federalized, they belong to the nation government. I'm sure with Kennedy and Souter on the court still, he might have a chance to get the Constitution declared Unconstitutional again.
Some states have a state militia command and control structure to take over emergency and law enforcement missions if their Guard units are not available. In theory, CA and other states can just move their resources into that and away from the National Guard. It is not subject to federalization. However, it has to be funded fully from the state's own budget. Considering that CA and many states are usually bleeding on their accounting books, its something that will result in 'ghost brigades'.
#4
the little tax-and-spend jug-eared loser has dropped like a rock since he beat Westly for the
Donk nod. He can't even count on the majority of Democrats to vote for him.
Posted by: Frank G ||
09/25/2006 13:41 Comments ||
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#5
I'll sue you too Frank
Posted by: Phil Angelides ||
09/25/2006 14:49 Comments ||
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#6
Talk about girlymen.
He looks like he should be running for bookkeeper.
#7
I really feel bad for Phil because he is going to get spanked hard next month. His only path is to go way WAY out on the fringe and hope that maybe the rest of the lemmings will jump with him. Next week he will propose disbanding the Guard and covert them into Peace Units. The following week Phil will actually go to church, probably the First AME which loves Democrats. Just before the election he will declare publicly that he is gay/bi. Sorry Phil you just dont matter, really.
#9
Sarge, I am living in an Oakland area hotel until my Indiana home sells. I heard on the radio this morning that Jerry Brown is running for State Senate. When I got here I found out that Ron Dellums in now mayor of SF. I feel like I will be living in Madame Tussauds.
Posted by: Super Hose ||
09/25/2006 22:37 Comments ||
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#10
Uh, Jerry's running for state Attorney General. Red Ron's the mayor of Oakland (again, if I recall correctly).
You're currently residing in the land of fruits and nuts.
75% of the state of California votes red, but the 25% that votes blue resides on the left coast and makes up the majority of the population.
Dean Everett Wooldridge, a physicist who co-founded aerospace giant TRW Inc. and helped develop the United States' intercontinental ballistic missile, died of pneumonia Wednesday at Cottage Hospital in Santa Barbara, Calif. He was 93.
The "W" in TRW, Wooldridge was an aerospace pioneer who in retirement became a self-educated expert in neurology, publishing two books -- "The Machinery of the Brain" and "The Machinery of Life" -- that became required reading at many graduate schools.
But Wooldridge was best known for his partnership with Simon Ramo, the "R" in TRW, in creating a company that revolutionized missile technology and helped propel the nation's high-tech weapons development during the early years of the Cold War.
In 1957, Time magazine placed the two on its cover, declaring them the "face of a new age," while also calling them an unlikely pair. Ramo was described as flamboyant and prone to speak impulsively, letting his thoughts bounce around, while Wooldridge, wearing gold-rimmed glasses, looked and acted like a professor; calm and introspective.
Despite their different personalities, the two California Institute of Technology classmates collaborated in developing the nation's most complex weapon systems, including the intercontinental ballistic missile, and helped usher in the space age.
The son of an independent oil broker, Wooldridge was born in Chickasha, Okla., and graduated from high school at age 14 before receiving a master's degree from the University of Oklahoma at 20. In 1936, at 23, Wooldridge received a Ph.D. in physics at Caltech.
Wooldridge immediately went to work at Bell Laboratories in New York, the pre-eminent research center at the time. By 1946, Wooldridge was chief of Bell's physical electronics department. But within months, he decided to head west.
Wooldridge joined Ramo, his former Caltech classmate who had set up a 10-man electronics section at Hughes Aircraft Co.
Wooldridge and Ramo developed an electronic fire-control system for the Air Force that became a standard for fighter aircraft. They developed the Falcon air-to-air missile, but at the height of their success both decided to walk out and form their own company, Ramo-Wooldridge.
The first headquarters of Ramo-Wooldridge was a one-room office in Los Angeles with a card table, chair, telephone and rented typewriter.
"When we started, we thought that maybe, if we were wildly successful, we might eventually have a staff of 150 people," Ramo said. Before it was acquired by Northrop Grumman Corp. in 2001, TRW had grown to about 70,000 workers.
In 1958, Ramo-Wooldridge merged with its financial backer, Thompson Products, and the company was eventually renamed TRW. Wooldridge was named president with Ramo as an executive director focused on technology development.
But just four years later, at age 49, Wooldridge retired and completely divorced himself from aerospace. A TRW historical document said that Wooldridge "never really wanted to be a businessman anyway" and didn't like "mundane tasks as cost-cutting."
Well-off financially from TRW stocks, Wooldridge spent the next 10 years traveling with his wife before delving deeply into educating himself on neurology.
Posted by: john ||
09/25/2006 19:44 ||
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#7
where are the NAACP ads: "a vote for Ben Cardin is a vote to drag another black man behind a truck. A vote for Ben Cardin sets three more black churches on fire."
I'm sure they wanna be equal-opportunity race-baiters
Posted by: Frank G ||
09/25/2006 20:30 Comments ||
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A CAR commercial proclaiming a "jihad on the US auto market" and offering "Fatwa Fridays" with free swords for the kids is offensive and should not be aired, Muslim leaders said overnight.
The radio advertisement for the Dennis Mitsubishi car dealership in Columbus, Ohio, has "a whole jihad theme," said Adnan Mirza, director of the Columbus office of the Council on American-Islamic Relations.
"They are planning on launching a jihad on the automotive market and their representatives would be wearing burqas ... ,"Mr Mirza said. "They mentioned the pope in there and also about giving rubber swords out to the kiddies really just reprehensible-type comments."
Details of the radio ad, which has not yet been broadcast, have been reported in the local media, but officials at the dealership declined to comment about the content of the radio spot.
#1
He also said the Council on American-Islamic Relations would likely contact the dealer to "offer some kind of cultural or sensitivity awareness training."
Sure. C'mon by. We'll see how aware you are about the sensitivity of your ass when I put my foot up it...
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
