Russians are renowned for drinking a lot of vodka staying sober. Thatâs not something to do with biological inheritance but with the way we drink.
Russians believe that foreigners donât know how to drink. They donât eat while drinking. They mix cocktails. They sip vodka instead of taking shots. They drink vodka with highly carbonated sodas. In short, they do everything to get drunk from the minimum amount of alcohol. May be it has something to do with innate Western avidity or expensiveness of alcohol.
Russians, on the other hand, do everything to stay sober while drinking as much alcohol as possible. How do we do it? We try to neutralize alcohol as long as possible. I try to outline the basic principles of vodka drinking for uninitiated.
One hour before the party.
1. Eat a couple of boiled potatoes.
2. Drinks one or two raw eggs.
3. Drink one or two table-spoons of olive oil. Sunflower oil will also do.
Thus itâs guaranteed that at the Russian party you will stay sober for at least one bottle of vodka. Iâm not kidding. Raw eggs are the most important part of Russian pre-party preparations.
At the party.
1. If you start drinking vodka â drink only vodka. No beer or wine. No water or juice. Carbonated drinks are taboo.
2. Drink vodka only in shots. Never sip.
3. Eat immediately after taking a shot. Russian zakuskis are often translated as appetizers. Thatâs not quite correct. Zakuskis are something you âzakusyvayeshâ with after taking a shot of vodka. They are very important to neutralize alcohol. Thatâs why they all contain two most important alcohol neutralizers â acid and salt. I recommend taking the following sequence:
- immediately after taking a shot â two slices of lemon;
- then some salted cucumbers, pickles, marinated tomatoes or caviar.
- then something with a lot of oil: herring (traditionally with cold boiled potatoes and onion), sardines, or shproty (small smoked sprats in olive oil);
- then traditional Russian salads, like Oliviye or Herring with boiled beet and mayonnaise. Almost all Russian salads come under heavy mayonnaise dressing. Remember â acid, salt, eggs and oil. Ukrainians and Southern Russians prefer smoked lard with garlic but itâs a zakuska for professionals.
4. Only three first vodka shots at a Russian party are âobligatoryâ so to say. That means you have to take them if you want to show youâre a friendly person but not an unsociable person. After that you can âmissâ one or two shots. Just say, âYa propuskayuâ (Literally, I make it slip) and cover your glass with your palm. That doesnât mean you can abstain from drinking till the end of the party. It means (excusing yourself that youâre a foreigner) can take one shot out of two your Russian guests take.
I think, some Russian party traditions need to be explained here. In Russia we party around a big table with bottles and zakuskis. We drink only when someone makes a toast and we drink all together. The person who makes a toast usually pours vodka to all glasses. Taking a bottle yourself and drinking vodka without others is a faux pas. Actually you (and all others) are ordered to drink after a toast. Everyone at the party is supposed to make a toast â being a foreigner is not an excuse. So be prepared â buy yourself a book on party toasts (there are a lot of them on sale in Russia) and learn some by heart.
5. Zakuskis part of the party take about an hour â or something like 200 grams (4 shots) of vodka. Then comes âgoryacheyeâ (hot dishes). Even though zakuskis could be very filling â you should eat goryacheye if you want not be become drunk.
6. Actively participate in intellectual talks around the table. Mental activity is probably the best method to keep you excited but sober. Try, for example, to drink two pints of beer while reading a philosophical book and see the result.
7. At the end of the party come tea and cakes. Donât miss it too. This way you show your hosts that youâre survived the party without dire consequences.
Now in the course of 4 or 5 hours you drunk a bottle of vodka (500 grams) and youâre only slightly tight.
After the party.
1. Keep a small bottle of beer in refrigerator. Wake up at about 5 in the morning, drink your beer and go back to bed. It prevents hang-over in the morning.
2. If the early morning beer didnât help (it usually does), drink a glass of brine from the jar you kept you pickles in.
Many Russians recommend taking a shot of vodka in the morning to fights hang-over. Donât do it. It helps only alcoholics. If youâre not, it will make things worse.
#3
on my 21st birthday - celebrated in my San Diego State SAE Fraternity bar, I had 21 vodka/lime kamikazes.....the rest is undocumented and I will take the fifth on...
Posted by: Frank G ||
12/25/2005 20:40 Comments ||
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#4
phil_b: Not I, but I have a healthy respect for vodka. In days of yore I was known as a vodka drinker, but more properly, I was a vodka holder. That is, everybody assumed that I was carrying a full glass of vodka, so I always won drinking contests.
I was always careful to let someone sip my vodka before carrying it into the bathroom to refresh my glass with tap water. Works every time.
BTW, for amusement, google "vodka brita", the story of some amateur chemists who transmogrified bad cheap vodka into good vodka.
Apart from the day The New York Times goes out of business â and the stellar work Paul Krugman's column does twice a week helping people house-train their puppies â the newspaper has done the greatest thing it will ever do in its entire existence.
#1
"I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East, and sending liberals to Guantanamo."
ROFL. Nothing sez tough love like Ann on a roll, Lol.
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