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2023-06-03 Home Front: Politix

America Votes To Add ‘Can You Walk And Speak In Sentences' To Presidential Job Application

[BEE] U.S. — Joe Biden's ugly spill at the Air Force commencement ceremony has led the American public to vote to approve adding the question "Can you walk and speak in sentences?" to the official job application for President of the United States.

"We never thought making this a requirement would be necessary," said concerned voter Zach Lewis. "I think everyone just assumed being ambulatory and having the ability to form words with your mouth and string them into coherent sentences that express rational thought would be a minimum for people serving in the highest office in the land, but apparently not."

The White House immediately voiced strong opposition to the addition of the question, accusing its proponents of discrimination. "These requirements represent pure prejudice," said Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. "Becoming Leader of the Free World should not come with any qualifications or requirements. It's hateful and, quite frankly, un-American."

Sources say the addition of the question to the job application for President may deal a severe blow to the future aspirations of other potential candidates, such as Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Senator John Fetterman. When reached for comment, Fetterman grunted three times before reciting what witnesses believed to be fragments of lyrics from a Linkin Park song. A spokesperson for Kamala Harris was quick to assert the Vice President is capable of speaking in full sentences, regardless of whether or not they convey any actual substance.

At publishing time, further questions were under consideration to be added, including "Is your son addicted to crack cocaine?" and "Are you currently on the payroll of the Chinese Communist Party?"

Posted by Besoeker 2023-06-03 07:21|| || Front Page|| [11132 views ] Top

#1 Every candidate for federal offices should have to take a citizenship test with an emphasis on the Constitution. It shouldn't be an obstruction to run, just a test who's results are publicly published months before an election.

Posted by Procopius2k 2023-06-03 07:56|| 2023-06-03 07:56|| Front Page Top

#2 When it gets really bad, they will pull him using his medical evaluation as the rationalization. Everyone involved in the current gaslighting will lose all credibility forever.

Posted by Super Hose 2023-06-03 08:10|| 2023-06-03 08:10|| Front Page Top

#3 Sadly, not actually a joke. Points off.

The thing about the media gaslighting is, they'll just go on like they never said anything. They have no credibility, and they have no shame (which is why they have no credibility).

Posted by ed in texas 2023-06-03 09:39|| 2023-06-03 09:39|| Front Page Top

03:23 Besoeker
02:05 Grom the Affective
02:04 Grom the Affective
01:26 49 Pan
00:22 EMS Artifact
00:16 Skidmark