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2009-10-07 -Short Attention Span Theater-

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Posted by Ptah 2009-10-07 07:50|| || Front Page|| [7 views ] Top

#1 Hold on, I like the Subaru station wagons.

Make 'em take the toyota hybrids though.

Posted by Thing From Snowy Mountain 2009-10-07 09:24|| 2009-10-07 09:24|| Front Page Top

#2 Hold on, I like the Subaru station wagons

Careful thing, Lesbaru

Posted by Beavis 2009-10-07 09:27|| 2009-10-07 09:27|| Front Page Top

#3 I thought the ultimate hippie-wannabe mobile was the Volvo station wagon.

Posted by CrazyFool 2009-10-07 10:45|| 2009-10-07 10:45|| Front Page Top

#4 I got a similar email a few months ago:

From The People of Texas

We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action since "Barry" Barrack Obama won the presidency over John McCain.

We'll miss you, too.

Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are considering taking matters into our own hands.

Here is our solution:

#1: Elect Barrack Obama President of the United States. (All 49 States.)

#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. (We will control the Space Industry.)

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

3. Defense Industry. (We have over 65% of it.) The term "Don't mess with Texas" will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm.

6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in the production of computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, , Dallas Semi- conductor, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on and on.

7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT Texas, A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University. Ivy grows better in the south, anyway.

9. We've a ready supply of workers. (Just open the Border when we need some more.)

10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army, but since every body down here has at least six rifles and a big pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours, if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.

12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. We don't need any food.

13. You will need a passport and visa to enter our borders this will be enforced!

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need or don't have.

Now as to the rest of the United States under President Obama: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only Mr. Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off all of your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Kerry has predicted Global Warming, you will not need any gas.

Signed, The Free People of Texas

Have a really nice day!

Posted by Woozle Uneter9007 2009-10-07 10:47|| 2009-10-07 10:47|| Front Page Top

#5 I think I'll be moving to Texas--its warmer than my side of the Red Nation.

Posted by Lumpy Elmoluck5091 2009-10-07 11:51|| 2009-10-07 11:51|| Front Page Top

#6 Unemployment is only 8%; considerably lower than many left and right coasts. Industry friendly environment. Warm climate for the most part. Sensible population--not looney crazy moonbats or least they have minimal impact.

Posted by JohnQC 2009-10-07 13:43|| 2009-10-07 13:43|| Front Page Top

#7 It's on my possibles list to emigrate to now the EUSSR is for real.

Posted by Bright Pebbles 2009-10-07 14:00|| 2009-10-07 14:00|| Front Page Top

#8 Was in the Dallas - Fort Worth area once about 20 years ago. Nice area. Nice people. Wouldn't mind working there.

Ahh..... Frozen Margarettas by the pitcher.

Posted by CrazyFool 2009-10-07 15:35|| 2009-10-07 15:35|| Front Page Top

#9 Texas is also first on my list, especially given reason #6. Cali's software/hardware industry is dead. The only thing going is web dev. No thanks.

One the li'l Rexette graduates, it's adios Cali!

Posted by Rex Mundi 2009-10-07 18:20|| 2009-10-07 18:20|| Front Page Top

#10 Premature congratulations to the li'l Rexette! Just let us know when the time comes, Rex Mundi. :-)

Posted by trailing wife 2009-10-07 22:23|| 2009-10-07 22:23|| Front Page Top

23:48 Barbara Skolaut
23:45 Barbara Skolaut
22:45 trailing wife
22:28 trailing wife
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21:58 Pappy
21:56 3dc
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21:53 Redneck Jim
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21:41 Woozle Uneter9007
21:39 Pappy
21:26 Oztralian
21:17 Anonymoose
21:14 Zhang Fei
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21:01 rjschwarz
21:00 Frank G
20:58 trailing wife
20:56 Barbara Skolaut
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