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2008-07-23 Home Front: Culture Wars

Lileks: cheese merchants, cat stranglers, and swamp developers

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Posted by Mike 2008-07-23 06:28|| || Front Page|| [11131 views ] Top

#1 Fat shapes emerged from the fog; hail and fare-thee-well, the same ancient mob of sorority sisters, Masons of the moment, backwater frog-heads, spumoni disciples, swamp-cheese franchise experts, Cartesians in LaCrosse socks, ferret-ticklers, and Rosicrutian tract-whappers.
hairy-backed swamp developers, corporate shills, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, hobby cops, misanthropic frat boys, lizardskin cigar monkeys, jerktown romeos, ninja dittoheads. In 1994 he called them dim figures emerged from the mist; lo and behold, the same old gang of frat boys, geezers in golf pants, cheese merchants, cat stranglers, corporate shills, Bible beaters, swamp developers.

What kind of weird drug is Keillor on?

Posted by bigjim-ky 2008-07-23 09:58|| 2008-07-23 09:58|| Front Page Top

#2 Honestly, Keillor has gone so far around the twist that I can hardly bear listening to PHC these days. The great clouds of liberal smug eminating from my radio whenever it is on is so dense it chokes everything else.

And he used to be funny, too. I have noticed that he only ever mentioned 9/11 directly on PHC once or twice, in the weeks immediatly after it happened. In a real Lake Woebegon, working class blue-collar sort of town there would have been reservists activated, and sons and daughters who would have been in the military and gone to Iraq or Afghanistan... but not in Mr. Keillor's fairy-tale town.

Pity. As I said, he used to be funny.

Posted by Sgt. Mom">Sgt. Mom 2008-07-23 10:28|| htto://www.celiahayes.com]">[htto://www.celiahayes.com] 2008-07-23 10:28|| Front Page Top

#3 What kind of weird drug is Keillor on?

You quoted Lileks parodying Keillor.

But what of the swamp merchants, cat developers, and cheese stranglers? Are we to allow cheese stranglers free rein in our society?

Posted by Angie Schultz 2008-07-23 10:46|| 2008-07-23 10:46|| Front Page Top

#4 Where's the 26-toed-cat pic when you need it?

Posted by Abdominal Snowman 2008-07-23 11:48|| 2008-07-23 11:48|| Front Page Top

#5 Yeah, where's Extra, when you need that lil' freak?

Posted by anonymous5089 2008-07-23 11:56|| 2008-07-23 11:56|| Front Page Top

#6 If bigjim had trouble distinguishing Lileks' parody from genuine Keillor dementia, I think that says something for Lileks' skill as a mimic . . . and maybe something about the full extent of Keillor's delusion.

Besides, I like cat merchants, cheese developers, and swamp stranglers as much as the next guy. Why, some of my best clients are backwater tract-whappers, Cartesian frog-heads, and ferret-tickling Rosicrutians in LaCrosse socks!

Posted by Mike 2008-07-23 12:05|| 2008-07-23 12:05|| Front Page Top

#7 Besides, I like cat merchants, cheese developers, and swamp stranglers as much as the next guy. Why, some of my best clients are backwater tract-whappers, Cartesian frog-heads, and ferret-tickling Rosicrutians in LaCrosse socks!

Amen! Hand that man a pit viper!

Posted by Abdominal Snowman 2008-07-23 12:16|| 2008-07-23 12:16|| Front Page Top

#8 Keillor looks like he was the type of kid that everybody in school used to beat on. Even the wussy kids. Even the girls...

Posted by tu3031 2008-07-23 13:47|| 2008-07-23 13:47|| Front Page Top

#9 Lileks: what a gem. Now only does he deconstruct Keillor to a quivering mass of protoplasm, he's orders of magnitude funnier than Keillor ever was - even before he went 'round the bend.

Posted by xbalanke 2008-07-23 15:36|| 2008-07-23 15:36|| Front Page Top

#10 Should Keillor awake to the news that President-Elect McCain has the electoral votes... just how much weirder will he get?

Posted by Grenter, Protector of the Geats 2008-07-23 16:15|| 2008-07-23 16:15|| Front Page Top

#11 A parody, I missed that. I was beginning to think this guy was dangerously insane.

Posted by bigjim-ky 2008-07-23 16:42|| 2008-07-23 16:42|| Front Page Top

#12 What kind of weird drug is Keillor on?

Last year's surstromming, probably.

Posted by Swamp Blondie in the Cornfields 2008-07-23 18:02|| 2008-07-23 18:02|| Front Page Top

#13 Gotta be the bark of the Yohimbe tree.

Posted by .5MT 2008-07-23 20:22|| www.cybernations.net]">[www.cybernations.net] 2008-07-23 20:22|| Front Page Top

#14 I was beginning to think this guy was dangerously insane.

Don't worry, you were on the right track. Here's an authentic quote:

"Rich ironies abound! Lies pop up like toadstools in the forest! Wild swine crowd round the public trough! Outrageous gerrymandering! Pocket lining on a massive scale! Paid lobbyists sit in committee rooms and write legislation to alleviate the suffering of billionaires! Hypocrisies shine like cat turds in the moonlight! O Mark Twain, where art thou at this hour? Arise and behold the Gilded Age reincarnated gaudier than ever, upholding great wealth as the sure sign of Divine Grace."

Posted by KBK 2008-07-23 23:56|| 2008-07-23 23:56|| Front Page Top

23:56 KBK
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