Article

2008-06-20 -Lurid Crime Tales-

Darwin Nominee: Robber Pulls Piece, Shoots Himself Dead

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Posted by mojo 2008-06-20 01:36|| || Front Page|| [2 views ] Top

#1 The Tarrant County Medical Examiner has ruled the death an accident.

The transport of, entry with, and drawing of the gun were all premeditated. It was no accident. Qualifies as a case of terminal cranial rectal insertion or substandard NO-GO training, but not an accident.

Posted by Procopius2k 2008-06-20 08:37|| 2008-06-20 08:37|| Front Page Top

#2 I bet his parents sue the gun manufacture for having a faulty product. Though I would say it worked just fine.

Posted by Charles 2008-06-20 09:05|| 2008-06-20 09:05|| Front Page Top

#3 You're absolutely right, Charles. It was the gun's fault. It should have guessed this kid was as scared as the homeowner, had a twitchy trigger finger, and should have had a 10 pound trigger pull so that he wouldn't stupidly blow his own guts out. Time to collect.

Posted by Woozle Elmeter 2700 2008-06-20 09:35|| 2008-06-20 09:35|| Front Page Top

#4 Self-administered justice can be harsh.

Posted by Richard of Oregon 2008-06-20 09:41|| 2008-06-20 09:41|| Front Page Top

#5 You owe me a new keyboard, mojo!

Ow... coffee ... burning ... sinus...

Posted by DarthVader">DarthVader 2008-06-20 09:48|| 2008-06-20 09:48|| Front Page Top

#6 Don'tcha just love a happy ending?

Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut 2008-06-20 10:46|| http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/]">[http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/] 2008-06-20 10:46|| Front Page Top

#7 Good Stuff.

Posted by swksvolFF 2008-06-20 11:52|| 2008-06-20 11:52|| Front Page Top

#8 Blame Fred, Darth...

Posted by mojo">mojo 2008-06-20 13:15|| 2008-06-20 13:15|| Front Page Top

#9 In the UK the homeowners would assuredly be facing charges.

Posted by xbalanke 2008-06-20 13:58|| 2008-06-20 13:58|| Front Page Top

#10 "Hello; Martha Stewart help line."

"Maybe you can help me. I live in Grand Prarie and I have a rather unusual problem."

"That's what we at the Martha Stewart help line are for. Why don't you explain your problem. This call may be recorded for quality control purposes."

"Well, I have this rather large bloodstain in my concrete driveway. It has dried and just spraying it with the hose doesn't affect it."

"How terrible, did you husband cut himself or was it from cleaning fish?"

" Neither, this little bastard broke into my housem but then ran away. And I guess he felt so bad about what he ahd done, he gut shot himself and died. Blood and small intenstine bits and pieces all over. Some even splattered onto my Prius."

"Well this is unusaul, but if you mix a strong solution of TSP with vinegar, it should work. Or at least smell really, really bad."

"Thanks, you've been a big help."

"No Problem, that's what the Martha Stewart help line is for."

"Or there is one more thing, is the blood on my Prius corrosive?"

Posted by USN, Ret. 2008-06-20 15:05|| 2008-06-20 15:05|| Front Page Top

#11 Probably thought he was Napoleon and blew his Boneapart.

Posted by Deacon Blues">Deacon Blues 2008-06-20 17:45|| 2008-06-20 17:45|| Front Page Top

#12 A few years ago a sheriff in a nearby county had baby Glock in his front pants pocket. He got Glock tangled up with his keys and had an unintentional discharge, i.e. he shot himself in the leg.

We also had our version of this Darwin nominee a couple of days ago. A guy robbed a local bank but forgot to gas up and ran out of gas down the road a short piece and was easily caught. Maybe his plan was to rob the bank and then gas up since he now had some money but ran out of gas before he could find a filling station.

Posted by JohnQC 2008-06-20 18:09|| 2008-06-20 18:09|| Front Page Top

#13 Go to your room, Deacon. --->

(ROFLMAO)

Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut 2008-06-20 18:10|| http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/]">[http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/] 2008-06-20 18:10|| Front Page Top

#14 MOJO.. way funny INLINE!! :)

*****************************

#11 Probably thought he was Napoleon and blew his Boneapart.

...DAT PUN WAZ SO BAD Deacon.. that I groaned for like 20 minutes..

Now the actual story made my b.. B..~~Boneapart~~ ..Brain hurt just thinking about it...

btw if dat happens to youse please make sure dat you don't rub on any Ultra Strength Bengay®!

/ lol, nice name...

NOT.. for a pain preparation!

Posted by RD">RD 2008-06-20 23:23|| 2008-06-20 23:23|| Front Page Top

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