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2005-12-02 Home Front: Culture Wars

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Posted by Steve 2005-12-02 09:37|| || Front Page|| [9 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 Nothing like a global outpouring of anger to start your day.

Posted by Ilya Kuryakin 2005-12-02 10:14|| 2005-12-02 10:14|| Front Page Top

#2 Yes, my children. Start everyday day with a 2 Minute Hate against ~~Goldberg~~ Bush.

Posted by Big Brother 2005-12-02 10:42|| 2005-12-02 10:42|| Front Page Top

#3 I do hope the protesters are capable fiddle players. There are few things worse than a group of fools playing dress-up and producing dissonant caterwauls from tortured violins. ;-)

Posted by trailing wife 2005-12-02 10:48|| 2005-12-02 10:48|| Front Page Top

#4 'm your wicked Uncle Ernie
I'm glad you won't see or hear me
As I fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about !

Your mother left me here to mind you
Now I'm doing what I want to
Fiddling about
Fiddling about
Fiddle about!

Down with the bedclothes
Up with the nightshirt!
Fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about !

You won't shout as I fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about !
Fiddle, fiddle, fiddle.

Posted by mojo">mojo 2005-12-02 10:51|| 2005-12-02 10:51|| Front Page Top

#5 ..and fights "for clean energy everywhere: in the statehouse, in the churches, in the schools and on the street."

Any chance this group will take on those demanding that wind farms here in CA be stopped because the propeller blades are killing birds?

Posted by Bomb-a-rama 2005-12-02 10:51|| 2005-12-02 10:51|| Front Page Top

#6 The Department of Defense's Twelve Days of Christmas Friday, December 02, 2005

The President has authorized the Department of Defense to assist Santa with the Twelve Days of Christmas.
Status of acquisitions follows:

Day 1- Partridge in a pear tree: The Army and Air Force are in the process of deciding whose area of responsibility Day 1 falls under. Since the partridge is a bird, the Air Force believes it should have the lead. The Army, however, feels trees are part of the land component command's area of responsibility. After three months of discussion and repeated OpsDepsTank sessions, a $1M study has been commissioned to decide who should lead this joint program.

Day 2 - Two turtle doves: Since doves are birds, the Air Force claims
responsibility. However, turtles are amphibious, so the Navy-Marine Corps team feels it should take the lead. Initial studies have shown that turtles and doves may have interoperability problems. Terms of reference are being coordinated for a four-year, $10M DARPA study.

Day 3 - Three French Hens: At State Department instigation, the Senate Committee on Foreign Affairs has blocked offshore purchase of hens, from the French or anyone else. A $6M program is being developed to find an acceptable domestic alternative.

Day 4 - Four Calling Birds: Source selection has been completed, with the contract awarded to AT&T. However, the award is being challenged by a small disadvantaged business.

Day 5 - Five Golden Rings: No available rings meet MILSPEC for gold plating. A three-year, $5M accelerated development program has been initiated.

Day 6 - Six Geese a-Laying: The six geese have been acquired. However, the shells of their eggs seem to be very fragile. It might have been a mistake to build the production facility on a nuclear waste dump at former Air Force base that was closed under BRAC.

Day 7 - Seven Swans a-Swimming: Fourteen swans have been killed trying to get through the Navy SEAL training program. The program has been put on hold while the training procedures are reviewed to determine why the washout rate is so high.

Day 8 - Eight Maids a-Milking: The entire class of maids a milking training program at Aberdeen is involved in a sexual harassment suit against the Army. The program has been put on hold pending resolution of the lawsuit.

Day 9 - Nine Ladies Dancing: Recruitment of the ladies dancing has been halted by a lawsuit from the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell Association." Members claim they have a right to dance and wear women's clothing as long as they're off duty.

Day 10 - Ten Lords a-Leaping: The ten lords have been abducted by terrorists. Congress has approved $2M in funding to conduct a rescue operation. Army Special Forces and a USMC MEU(SOC) are conducting a "NEO-off" competition for the right to rescue.

Day 11 - Eleven Pipers Piping: The pipe contractor delivered the pipes on time. However, he thought DoD wanted smoking pipes. DoD lost the claim due to defective specifications. A $22M dollar retrofit program is in process to bring the pipes into spec.

Day 12 - Twelve Drummers Drumming: Due to cutbacks only six billets are available for drumming drummers. DoD is in the process of coordinating an RFP to obtain the six additional drummers by outsourcing; however, funds will not be available until FY 07.

As a result of the above-mentioned programmatic delays, and due to a High OPTEMPO that requires diversion of modernization funds to support current operations, Christmas is hereby postponed until further notice.

Posted by Besoeker 2005-12-02 12:04|| 2005-12-02 12:04|| Front Page Top

#7 "Save New Orleans: Stop Global Warming" party ...

Useless twits. If they want to save New Orleans they should rent some trucks and take some of this debris back to wherever they come from, or use it to feed the thumpchested woodpecker.

In a spirit of compromise, however, I am willing to donate my refrigerator to this group. It houses many species that could be endangered by global warming.

Posted by Matt 2005-12-02 12:08|| 2005-12-02 12:08|| Front Page Top

#8 Global Warming! Doom, Gloom moving towards you at a glacial pace!! Put your money in the offering plate and you can be saved!!

Posted by 2b 2005-12-02 12:22|| 2005-12-02 12:22|| Front Page Top

#9 Delightful, Besoeker! Thanks!

Posted by trailing wife 2005-12-02 12:48|| 2005-12-02 12:48|| Front Page Top

#10 "...dumping of a ton of coal on the campus of Penn State University."

Nothing says "clever" to an activist like making a complete ass out of themselves.

Posted by DepotGuy 2005-12-02 13:07|| 2005-12-02 13:07|| Front Page Top

#11 Too bad these morons don't understand that unless we continue to "fiddle" with the terrorists, there won't be much of a world left to suffer from the results of global warming.

Posted by Zenster 2005-12-02 13:32|| 2005-12-02 13:32|| Front Page Top

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