Article

2004-02-10 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Cuffed escapee tries to buy bolt cutter at Wal-Mart

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Posted by Mike 2004-02-10 10:02:57 AM|| || Front Page|| [2 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 Save the receipt and maybe you can return them for a refund in, oh, 2 years or so!

Posted by Dar 2004-2-10 10:35:42 AM|| 2004-2-10 10:35:42 AM|| Front Page Top

#2 ...just like any other Wal-Mart customer buying a bolt cutter at 4:30 in the morning...

We get a million of 'em...

Posted by mojo 2004-2-10 10:40:26 AM|| 2004-2-10 10:40:26 AM|| Front Page Top

#3 Dummy, you don't buy just the bolt cutters; pick out some drapes in housewares or something. Better yet, think like a criminal and dodge behind the car battery endcap and use the cutters for free.

Posted by Super Hose 2004-2-10 11:00:42 AM|| 2004-2-10 11:00:42 AM|| Front Page Top

#4 You see this is how Walmart is ruining the quaint center cities of hundreds of small towns like Magnolia. Without Walmart, the prisoner would have been likely to have a more urban-centric experience at a boutique specialty shoppee in downtown Magnolia, perhaps, "Everything Bolt Cutter" and then relaxed with some homemade tea while perusing the scented candles at neighboring stores ( I sometimes have meetings with environmentalists and PC govt people )

Posted by mhw 2004-2-10 11:19:29 AM|| 2004-2-10 11:19:29 AM|| Front Page Top

#5 MHW, that's not even counting the old institution of a deputy with sunglasses chasing the perpetrator through the woods until he uses a stream bed to hide his scent. Now they just wait for Walmart or Target to call him in for shoplifting.

Posted by Super Hose 2004-2-10 11:59:53 AM|| 2004-2-10 11:59:53 AM|| Front Page Top

#6 Shoplifting, SH? The story says that he was paying for the item.

Posted by Eric Jablow 2004-2-10 12:07:22 PM|| 2004-2-10 12:07:22 PM|| Front Page Top

#7 I know, Eric, that's another sign of the downfall of our society. Perpetrators paying for merchandice. He must have been brainwashed by the perky ads where sisters go to Wal-Mart and find everything they need. I think the Yellow Smiley Face is Big Brother. What a damn shame.

Posted by Super Hose 2004-2-10 12:43:23 PM|| 2004-2-10 12:43:23 PM|| Front Page Top

#8 . . . just like any other Wal-Mart customer buying a bolt cutter at 4:30 in the morning

Say what?

"My girlfriend an' me had a fight."

Posted by Mike 2004-2-10 12:44:13 PM|| 2004-2-10 12:44:13 PM|| Front Page Top

#9 LOL Mike! It took me till now to figure it out.

Posted by Shipman 2004-2-10 5:47:49 PM|| 2004-2-10 5:47:49 PM|| Front Page Top

#10 Okay, this guy is a moron. He could have used the bolt cutters without buing them.

Friend had a bachelor party and we created a bowling ball with chain that attached to his leg and forced him to wear it all night. When it was time for the guy who cooked up the gag to get married the original victim went to Osh and used the bolt cutters to remove the lock so the contrapition could be used again. We didn't buy the freaking bolt cutters, not for one snip. One person noticed and they were laughing. If we'd wanted to cut the lock off in secret that would have been easy enough as well. Moron.

Posted by ruprecht 2004-2-10 11:03:36 PM|| 2004-2-10 11:03:36 PM|| Front Page Top

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