[NEWS.AU] THIS week, this website ran a piece which was very popular with readers. Call me a miserable cynic, but I found it one of the most indulgent pieces of tripe in history.
So here's what happens next. We run Shannon Kaiser's list again and I tell you what I think of each of the author's points. And everybody goes away happy - cynics, fans, everybody. Shannon Kaiser is identified later in the piece as a "life coach." You know this is gonna be a fun ride.
Because you see, the true secret to happiness is not mindless, second-hand, dog-eared platitudes and faux nuggets of wisdom like Kaiser's woeful excuse for a list.
It's saying what you really think and being bold enough to stand behind it. Enough preamble.
The list. Hers and mine ...
1. Stop worrying, if it is supposed to happen it will.
Riiight. So straight off the bat with some deterministic bullsh-t. Tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes are things that will happen regardless of what you do. Your bald tire blowing on a high-speed curve is something it's within your power to control. 2. Allow yourself to be a beginner. No one starts off being excellent.
Actually, this is one of the few bits of good advice on the list. Don't settle for being incompetent for longer than absolutely necessary. They come to see the guy fly through the air with the greatest of ease. They won't pay as much just to see him fly. But first he's gotta learn to fly. 3. Don't let your happiness depend on anything outside of yourself.
OK, so if I'm starving to death and my nation is at war and the neighbours play ACDC really loudly late at night and everyone I know has cancer, I'll just stay nice and happy. Uh-huh. Sure thing. Whatever you say, Sarah. We're not as close as the ungulates, but man is a social animal. Without the comfort of others we're unhappy almost by definition. Home and family and friends make up the core of most mature adults' comfort zone. 4. Stay close to everything that makes you feel alive.
Yeah, but let's say I like the sea. And let's I say I want to live in a dwelling larger than a shoebox? How's this going to help me in an Australian city in 2013? Don't get too far from your oxygen tank. 5. Listen to your body, it will lead you to unlimited health.
My body says it wants coffee. I'm listening hard. It also says it wants hot chips. I'm not sure these things are the source of unlimited health. If I go back to the gym this afternoon my muscles are going to scream because I've been sluggish and barely moving for the past few months. If I listen to my muscles I'll drop the whole idea, go to McDonald's, and have a chocolate shake. If I ignore my body I'll start getting back into some semblance of health until my next trip to the emergency room. 6. Surround yourself with people who see your greatness.
Sorry Sarah, but it's a bit embarrassing when I keep bringing my mother to work. I'm not sure if she's suggesting groupthink as a way of life or setting up your own cult of personality. In fact, I'm not sure there's a difference. But it sounds like it leads to "brook no opposition." 7. Make peace with your past.
See also Point 21: "forgive yourself". Warning: this list repeats itself a lot. Does that mean shrug off responsibility for damage you've done? 8. See all setbacks as growth and expansive opportunities.
Actually, the word "expansive" means spacious or roomy, not something with potential to expand. Just sayin'. Sometimes setbacks are a sign you should be in a different line of work. 9. Comparing yourself to others will hurt your health and steal your joy.
Funny, because all the other boring predictable lists like this say you should emulate those you admire. Don't bother with that ''if he can make it, so can I'' nonsense. You can't. 10. Don't give up, EVER.
Yeah, that's OK good advice. Unless you happen to be a stalker, of course, in which case you should give up immediately. Keep at it. Eventually you'll perfect that perpetual motion machine. 11. You always have a choice. No you don't. This is the oldest, stupidest, lamest myth in the book. Surely the secret to happiness is to make the right choices at those moments when you genuinely do have a choice, and to suck it up the rest of the time without sooking. Surely the really happy people are the ones who can cop bad stuff without sooking, aren't they? Sometimes the choice comes down to "blindfold and cigarette?" 12. Stop chasing what's not working.
Yeah that's not bad advice. Otherwise paraphrased as not throwing good money after bad. So a decent point, but not even faintly original. I'm not too sure how it relates to "Dont give up, ever." 13. Believe wholeheartedly in miracles.
OK, so now we're getting religious. You can believe in miracles, but you can't order them up to taste. 14. Don't postpone joy.
I want to go skiing today. There is lots of snow. It's August. I really, really want to go skiing. See, but I have to be at work. That's a great recipe for playing with yourself when you should be working. When you're dead, nobody's going to say "he or she lived a good life. He or she had lots of orgasms." If they remember you at all, it'll be as the man or woman who founded Consolidated. 15. Trust the universe, there is a plan greater than yours.
No there isn't. No one is up there plotting your life for you. Even the most ardent biblical scholar will tell you your destiny is fairly and squarely in your own hands. That's why there is this whole concept of forgiveness. Why would Jesus or the giant spaghetti monster or anyone forgive you if you weren't responsible for anything you did because the universe has planned it all? Honestly, nothing makes me angrier than people who believe in determinism. If the universe has a plan greater than mine, why should I believe in miracles? For that matter, why even bother? The universe is a lot bigger than me or any other non-solipsist. 16. Wake up every morning with a grateful heart.
Righto, so there's another decent one on this list. Some things you should be grateful for, others not. If you're walking down the street in Zanzibar and somebody splashes you with acid, don't be grateful for that. The Count of Monte Cristo had lots to be grateful for. None of them was the Chateau d'If. 17. Remember things take time.
Yeah, ya pretty much covered that one up in Number 2, Sarah. Time takes things, too. 18. Always trust your gut. Hang on, why do I need to trust my own gut if the universe has got it all planned for me? Do I turn internal or external? Help me, Sarah. I'm confused. My gut's wrong about forty percent of the time. How's yours do? 19. No need to change people; just love them for who they are.
Sorry Sarah, Billy Joel beat you to that one. Also, you should learn how to use semicolons better. Himmler and Heydrich were just lovable souls, all unspoiled. 20. Don't resist change.
But so much change these days is change for change's sake. The shallowest people I know are the ones who hang out for a new version of the iPhone. The bovine recital that "change is good" doesn't reflect a lot of thought. Change wasn't good for Herculaneum. 21. Forgive yourself.
Hang on, isn't that the universe's job? Or God's job? Damn, I'm confused. Forgiveness is God's job. The sort of people who go through life casually forgiving themselves for having done terrible things are called "sociopaths." 22. Your life is a creative adventure.
And people pay you good money as a life coach to hear that? Lots of people lead lives that aren't in the least creative, and probably even more lead lives that aren't adventurous. 23. Release expectations and enjoy the journey, there is no destination.
Woman uses old travel cliches and horrible mixed metaphors in already shaky list. That sounds like there is no purpose to life. We're born, we spawn, we die, just like flies. 24. Just do you.
I'm sorry but that just sounds rude. You'll grow hair on your palms. 25. You're not broken or damaged. You are perfect just the way you are.
Wait a minute. So if we're perfect, why do we need a life coaches? And what the hell is a life coach anyway? What sort of pretentious bullsh-t job title is that? Just go away you horrible woman and don't ever write anything on the internet ever again. I'm not a life coach or anything, but it's my opinion that maturity consists of dealing with the mental, moral, and physical damage inflicted by floating down the stream of life toward the falls that mark the end.
Coué, who I believe was the founder of the life coach racket, used to have people recite the mantra "Every day in every way I become better and better." Some did, most didn't. I think the same success ratio applies today.
Posted by: Fred ||
08/11/2013 00:00 ||
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#1
Guess who has become a life coach, too? (French link)
#3
Of course there is always #26: walk down to CVS and pick up a handful of happy pills.
Some folks should be depressed. They have made miserable lives for themselves and as time goes on all the people they blame for their miserable lives have moved on (see number 6 on the list). This article is a pick me for those folks who only have self loathing remaining.
Happiness is all the fucking around you, get a piece, steal a piece, borrow a piece or look on with binoculars and a cheap liver dish. Life is good, respect it and take care of smaller things.
Posted by: Fred ||
08/11/2013 00:00 ||
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#1
From the article: The next time a young woman starts singing Hakuna Matata in a courtyard somewhere, then finds herself thrown to the ground with an assault rifle to her head in the name of public safety, we may be able to see footage of it, and to ask ourselves: Does this approach to keeping the peace make sense?
This is not "keeping the peace". It is making war on the civilian population to terrorize them and keep them in their places.
#2
The author and his ilk's issue is not really with militarization and subsequent actions. It's that the subsequent actions are aimed at the "wrong people".
#3
Some forty Detroit police officers dressed in commando gear ordered the [art] gallery attendees to line up on their knees, then took their car keys and confiscated their vehicles, largely on the grounds that the gallery lacked the proper permits for dancing and drinking.
I'm skeptical that the events described actually happened. Particularly in view of Pappy's observation. I mean, The New Yorker? Same crowd who still worships Rigoberta Menchu.
Major Hasan is a Virginia-born army psychiatrist and a recipient of the Pentagons Global War on Terrorism Service Medal, which seems fair enough, since he certainly served in it, albeit for the other side. Most Americans think hes nuts. He thinks Americans are nuts. Its a closer call than youd think. In the immediate aftermath of his attack, the U.S. media, following their iron-clad rule that Allahu akbar is Arabic for Nothing to see here, did their best to pass off Major Hasan as the first known victim of pre-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It comes at a time when the stress of combat has affected so many soldiers, fretted Andrew Bast in a report the now defunct Newsweek headlined, A Symptom of a Military on the Brink.
Major Hasan has never been in combat. He is not, in fact, a soldier. He is a shrink. The soldiers in this story are the victims, some 45 of them. And the only reason a doctor can gun down nearly four dozen trained warriors (he was eventually interrupted by a civilian police officer, Sergeant Kimberly Munley, with a 9mm Beretta) is that soldiers on base are forbidden from carrying weapons. Thats to say, under a 1993 directive a U.S. military base is effectively a gun-free zone, just like a Connecticut grade school. Thats a useful tip: If youre mentally ill and looking to shoot up a movie theater at the next Batman premiere, try the local barracks theres less chance of anyone firing back.
#1
The whole system is now based upon lies. And then they wonder why things don't work out the way they believe they should. However, they prefer to continue to lie to themselves and everyone else rather than to acknowledge the fundamental concept that their actions can not solve problems because their premises are lies and falsehoods.
#2
disinclined, OH I really like that word. What we have here are con men in charge of all story telling. The good con men in the old days knew when to get out most times. When you have played a con too long things will fall apart. That is what is happening here now. The con man believes his own lies. Like stolen Valor. They can't let go of their story. It becomes real to them. "The whole system is now based upon lies".
[Ynet] Institutionalized favoritism has enabled Paleostinians to monopolize refugee issue
A few weeks ago, the Israeli government passed a bill that will commemorate February 17 -- the date of an Arab League ...an organization of Arabic-speaking states with 22 member countries and four observers. The League tries to achieve Arab consensus on issues, which usually leaves them doing nothing but a bit of grimacing and mustache cursing... call on member states to impose restrictions on the lives, property and legal status of Jews. Will similar recognition of the Jewish persecution in, and eventual expulsion from, Mohammedan lands occur in the current peace talks, which will certainly address the Paleostinian refugees of 1948?
Continued on Page 49
[Ynet] If reports of Israel's alleged attack of terror cell in Sinai are true, it would be second time since 1979 peace treaty Israel has breeched Egyptian illusory sovereignty -- a risky move justified only if terror cell was posing immediate threat to Israeli lives
If the reports of an Israeli drone attacking a terror cell preparing to launch a rocket into Israel from Egypt are true then it would be the first time since Egypt and Israel signed their peace treaty in 1979 that Israel's forces have operated within Sinai, or Egypt for that matter -- except a single incident during the terror attack along Route 12 two years ago. Like now, at the time, an Israel aircraft -- according to Egyptian media reports, a helicopter -- entered into Egypt, fired on terrorist but also at Egyptian soldiers, who return fire with a rocket in its direction.
The difference between what happened then and what allegedly happened Friday is that the alleged drone attack of the Death Eaters near Egypt's Rafah in Sinai was probably undertaken at Israel's own initiative. The reason for the initiative is what is called 'a live prevention' of an imminent attempt to launch either a rocket or a long-range missile. It is safe to assume that those behind the attack are a group of Salafist Bedouins attempting to launch either a Fajr or M75 Fajr-like missile made in the Gazoo Strip by either Hamas, always the voice of sweet reason, or the Islamic Jihad ...created after many members of the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood decided the organization was becoming too moderate. Operations were conducted out of Egypt until 1981 when the group was exiled after the assassination of President Anwar Sadat. They worked out of Gaza until they were exiled to Lebanon in 1987, where they clove tightly to Hezbollah. In 1989 they moved to Damascus, where they remain a subsidiary of Hezbollah... An additional possibility is that the Death Eaters attempting to fire the rocket were Paleostinians, maybe Hamas men, or more likely, members of the Popular Resistance Front or the Paleostinian Islamic Jihad. They all have an interest to spike unrest in the West Bank, mainly because of the renewal of peace talks between Israel and the Paleostinians with the conclusion of the Ramadan -- always an explosive time.
The fact that the rocket was to be launched from Rafah seems to hint at the possibility that it was indeed Paleostinians, as there is no small number of tunnels connecting Gazoo to the Egyptian town in the area. In such a scenario, one can assume that the Death Eaters passed through the tunnels, set-up the launcher in Rafah and then attempted to launch a rocket from it, in a bid to put the Egyptian army in a bind with Israel.
It is safe to assume that Israel would not risk its relations with Egypt if there was not a direct and immediate threat to the lives of Israeli citizens. If so, the incident can be seen as a 'ticking bomb' taken out so as to save lives, and as such, as a call that trumps diplomatic and political considerations.
Two birds, one rocket
The interest of Jihadist or Salafist groups to fire into Israel is that of killing two birds with one rocket onslaught. They want to directly cause harm to Israel but also to pull Israel and Egypt into conflict. The Egyptian army has been working tirelessly recently to 'cleanse' Sinai of terrorists, and Israel is more than aware of its efforts.
We can presume that Israel is content with the army's determined battle against terror groups and organizations active in Sinai. Nonetheless, Israel cannot let Death Eaters attack its communities in the Negev with rockets or missiles. The defense establishment in Israel has been keeping mum in regards to reports, but a source said: "We are aware of the intensified Egyptian army activities against terror in the Sinai region."
The comment can be understood as an apology of sorts that Israel -- according to foreign media reports, in light of the direct and imminent threat to its citizens' lives -- was forced to act on its own over Egypt's sovereign soil.
It is also safe to assume that the Egyptian army will not be pleased by the fact that targets were engaged on sovereign Egyptian territory by Israel aircraft. However, alcohol has never solved anybody's problems. But then, neither has milk... in light of the fact that it was allegedly an unmanned aircraft, and the event did have a humanitarian justification, it is possible that with a little help from our American friends, the incident might just pass without response.
#5
Israel is prob covertly breathing a deep sigh of relief that Baby Assad + SA is winning in Syruh, allowing the IDF to keep its eye on Egypt + Iranian shennanigans in KSA + Emirates.
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
