An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.
"Ach! Täke dät, Mississippi schquirrel!"
"Aber Grämpäw! Wir sind nicht im Mississippi!"
"Shüddup, Sönny, oder ich'll let du haben it, auch!"
The squirrel first ran into a house in that little old town of Pascagoula the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on Sister Bertha Better-n-you a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said Thursday.
When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs
She jumped to her feet and said "Lord have mercy on me"
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress
She began to cry and then to confess to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame
She told of gossip and church dissension but the thing that got the most attention
Was when she talked about her love life and then she started naming names!
With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off. The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole.
Well, Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin'
Some thought he had religion others thought he had a demon
And Harv thought he had a weed eater loose in his Fruit-Of-The-Looms
"After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man's garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh," the spokesman said.
Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved,
Twenty-five thousand dollars was raised and fifty volunteered
For missions in the Congo on the spot
Even without an invitation there were at least five hundred rededications
And we all got baptized whether we needed it or not
"Then he killed it with his crutch."
[Chorus!]
The day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self-Righteous Church
In the sleepy little town of Pascagoula
It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival
They was jumpin' pews and shoutin' Hallelujah!
The spokesman said experts thought the attack may have been linked to the mating season or because the squirrel was mentally ill.
Posted by: Fred ||
06/15/2007 07:40 ||
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#1
Squirrels, why do they hate us?
First!
Posted by: Steve ||
06/15/2007 8:30 Comments ||
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#2
Sounds like the leprechauns got to the poor squirrel.
Posted by: Rob Crawford ||
06/15/2007 8:52 Comments ||
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#3
It was jinns attracted to the uncovered cat meat.
#4
After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man's garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh. Then he killed it with his crutch.
Though Rocky was dead, the violence was not over, for the next day, a vengeful moose strode into town with carnage on his mind . . . .
Posted by: Mike ||
06/15/2007 10:58 Comments ||
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#5
Rabies. Or some brain parasite I don't want to begin to think about, but I'd bet on rabies.
Contrary to much propaganda from the enemy within, we were not alone then and we are not alone now.
ALMOST 42 years after he was killed in battle in Vietnam, an Australian soldier was laid to rest today in home soil, among family and comrades and with full military honours.
Private Peter Gillson, whose remains were found and brought back from Vietnam last month, was today buried at Melbourne's Fawkner Cemetery, after a funeral service held at St Paul's Cathedral.
Mr Gillson's widow, Lorraine Easton, who has since remarried, his son Robert Gillson, two brothers and a sister all spoke at the service.
Vietnam Veterans' Association of Australia (VVAA) Victorian president Bob Elworthy, one of hundreds of Vietnam veterans to attend the service, said it had been an important day which allowed many to move on. "It was just a brilliant service and reflected on his short life and family," Mr Elworthy said. "I've been chatting with a lot of veterans today who lost a lot of mates in action and couldn't attend their funerals because they had to go on serving.
"A lot have said today's service for Peter Gillson has been a form of closure for them."
Current serving soldiers from Private Gillson's regiment, the First Royal Australian Regiment (1RAR) formed an honour guard and firing party for his burial. As his coffin was lowered into the ground, three separate volleys of gunshots were fired and the Last Post was played.
Veterans' Affairs Minister Bruce Billson and Victorian Premier Steve Bracks attended the service. Mr Billson said the significance of finally bringing Private Gillson's remains home was shown by the hundreds of veterans in attendance. "This has been a profoundly significant day for a great many people and for those members of the fallen soldier's family," Mr Billson said. "His son Robert spoke about how important it is he'll have a place to go to talk to his dad, a focal point for his family and their grieving."
Private Gillson was just 20 when he was killed on November 8, 1965, during a battle east of Saigon. His remains, along with those of 25-year-old Lance Corporal Richard "Tiny" Parker, who also was killed in the battle, were unearthed in April after years of searching by a group called Operation Aussies Home.
VVAA national president Ron Coxon today paid tribute to the Operation Aussies Home group. He said finding the remains of the two men, had brought closure to the soldiers' mates, who had been unable to retrieve their bodies after they were killed because of the battle going on around them. "The blokes from their company that actually served with them said they just felt like it was all complete because now they were all home for 40 years they hadn't felt complete because they left two blokes behind," Mr Coxon said. Welcome home, mate.
#2
I hope the Aussies treated their returning soldiers better than America's elites did ours. May God damn to Hell forever all those cowardly bastards who turned their backs on our men and women who fought so bravely. Those left-wing sons and daughters of whores are directly responsible for the carnage that happened after we left--and they're trying to do the same thing again now in Iraq. I hope this time we as a nation are smart enough to stop them.
Posted by: Mac ||
06/15/2007 14:50 Comments ||
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The Islami Jamiat Talaba (IJT) activists on Thursday broke mirrors of two vehicles including a police mobile during the lawyers protest rally on The Mall in front of the Punjab University (Old Campus). The incident happened when the protesters while on their way back to the Lahore Bar Association came across a police vehicle (LEG-1420). The students led by Punjab University IJT nazim Salman Ayub broke its windscreen. They also broke mirrors of a Toyota Corolla (LHB-8816). However the lawyers stopped the IJT activists from doing such acts. It was the first incident of its kind that happened during lawyers rallies since March 9. Earlier, the students had been writing slogans against General Pervez Musharraf and the Muttahida Qaumi Movement on the walls of the Lahore High Court and some other buildings on The Mall.
Posted by: Fred ||
06/15/2007 00:00 ||
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A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
