"Don't threaten to kill the readers" is actually the ninth rule of journalism.
The rules, in order:
1. Afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted; then, after the afflicted become comfortable, afflict them again. This should provide an endless supply of news stories.
2. Be balanced. No matter what anybody says, find somebody to say the opposite. If a scientist claims to have a cure for cancer, find somebody who says cancer does not exist. If a man says "My name is Fred," make sure you find somebody who says "No, your name is Diane." Etc.
3. When deciding which tragedies deserve the most prominent coverage, use this simple math: 10,000 foreigners = one cute white American chick.
4. If the President of the United States is accused of violating the law on the same day that an African country erupts into civil war and an especially gloomy economic report is released, and you must decide which one is your lead story, ask yourself this: Did the local sports team just win a big game?
5. Internet, Schminternet. It will be gone in five years. People will always love reading a newspaper -- and so will you, our intrepid reporter, once you accept our buyout offer.
6. When working at the New York Post, make sure your story includes all six W's: Who, What, When, Where, Why and With What Kind of Lubricant.
7. When appearing on television, insinuate that all newspaper reporters are biased. When writing for a newspaper, imply that all television people are boobs with no credibility. When at the bar afterward, complain that nobody trusts journalists anymore.
8. Keep each of the following on speed dial: a wacko religious leader who believes that God loves all his children, except the ones who skip church once in awhile; a gun nut who put semiautomatic weapons on his baby registry; an anti-weapons nut who thinks there should be a 10-day waiting period before buying steak knives; a legendary, highly quotable politician who has not been sober past noon since 1991, and a self-designated leader of each of the following minority groups: African Americans, Asians, Latinos, American Indians, homosexuals, transsexuals, fat people, skinny people, people with absolutely no distinguishing physical attributes, and foot fetishists.
9. When threatening to kill other human beings, make sure they do not live in your coverage area. I knew I should have read to the end.
Posted by: Mike ||
06/05/2007 06:53 ||
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10) Write what your editor wants you to write, or you won't get published, you won't get paid, and you will told in more explicit terms to write what your editor wants you to write.
11) Write by the foot, get published by the inch. And not the inch your wrote, but your byline is on it anyway.
12) If they give you free liquor, they have something important to say. The same with press releases that need minimal work on your part.
13) It's the job of the paper's sob sister to offend little old ladies, not yours. Don't step on his turf unless you want your toes chopped off.
14) Keep a dozen backup stories that can be brushed up and will pass your editor in five minutes, in case everything goes wrong.
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"If it bleeds, it leads". When you have a good story, but no blood, use the time honored tactic of "Bystanders/Witnesses said" to make it bleed enough to lead, corrections are never read unless the corrected news is worse than first reported.
Posted by: Redneck Jim ||
06/05/2007 20:01 Comments ||
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10) Don't be afraid to use your marginal whit and talent to influence the illiterate masses with bald faced lies in a shameless attempt to further your seditious, left leaning, maligned philosophy.
As readers here know, the American Freedom Alliance and Council for Democracy and Tolerance will be sponsoring a conference at Pepperdine University next weekend dedicated to exploring the crisis in Europe and its ramifications for the United States. Ive been invited to join the panelists. My book Menace in Europe: Why the Continents Crisis is Americas, Too was published in early 2006. Pajamas Media editor Roger Simon called me Monday morning to ask if Id comment, ahead of the conference, on the way the landscape has changed since the books publication.
The landscape in Europe has changed very little. New politicians with interesting ideas have come to power in Germany and France, and I am glad of this, but the long-term economic, demographic and cultural trends have not changed and will not be easy to change. Rest at the link
That's what The New York Times seems to be asking, even as most news outlets are giving front-page coverage to the recently foiled scheme to blow up JFK Airport's fuel pipeline.
The paper's goal seems to be getting America to lower its guard - which can only lead to disaster.
The suspects were "Short on Cash / And a Long Way From Realizing Goals," one Times headline insisted yesterday. Regarding two of the men arrested, a second headline asserted that "Neither Seemed an Extremist."
Indeed, on Sunday the paper barely covered the arrests of three suspects behind the plot: Its main story appeared 37 pages back. A second piece undermined the significance of that story: "Plot Was Unlikely To Work, Experts Say, Citing Safeguards and Pipeline Structure."
OK, so these guys had no weapons or mountains of money on hand.
But they had deep, passionate intent - to do grave damage to this country.
And they represented a brand of terrorist that might be even more deadly than al Qaeda's thugs: the kind that builds hatred toward America and takes it upon himself to vent that hatred in some deadly freelance plot.
While their crude planning might often - thankfully - fail, such plotters need to succeed but once. Even a partial success could be horrific.
Yet far more important to the Times than the prospect of a plot aiming to out-do 9/11 were front-page stories about:
* The debate over the legality of detaining "boy fighters" in the Guantanamo prison camp.
* How the brick laying trade in India is benefiting peasants.
* Proper upkeep for "the most treasured violins."
Let's be clear here: The "paper of record" isn't guilty of merely poor news judgment. It's got an agenda.
Numerous newspapers understood the gravity of a plot against New York by terrorist upstarts from a seemingly unlikely part of the world - the Caribbean, just a few hours from U.S. shores. The Washington Post, for example, put the story on its front page Sunday.
Nor is the Times' coverage of this story a quirk: The paper has downplayed several other terror cases because the plotters were "merely" in the "talking" stage. Last month, after the Fort Dix Six case came to light, the paper ran a piece called "Informer's Role Draws Praise and Questions" - casting doubt on "the legitimacy of the investigations" because of the role of an FBI informer.
None of that should matter.
The point is, an unknown number of ruthless actors around the world - some in our backyard - continue to emerge and threaten the nation. No doubt the 9/11 plot also once seemed like something no one could pull off.
Mayor Bloomberg yesterday had the right approach: "We take every single potential threat to our populace very seriously . . . [Cops] go through every single potential threat. If it turns out not to be substantive, that's the best scenario we could possibly hope for."
For the Times, though, the only terror plot worth worrying about is . . . a successful one.
It ought to be ashamed of itself.
Posted by: Frank G ||
06/05/2007 10:19 ||
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If I didn't know THIS was Scrappleface I would swear it was true.
Posted by: Deacon Blues ||
06/05/2007 11:51 Comments ||
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Send a buncha illegal Mexicans out to the Hamptons to piss on Pinchy's bushes. I'll bet he'd want an airstrike called in
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
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Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
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