Assassins may have closed on Broadway, but another show is taking aim at the leader of the free world in the new guerilla comedy "I'm Gonna Kill the President!" A Federal Offense.
Performances begin at 10 PM at an undisclosed Manhattan location, running Aug. 17-Sept. 4 — including the dates of the Republican National Convention.
A press release for the work penned by "Hieronymous BANG" reads like an classified government document with key words crossed out with a black marker. The material reads ""I'm Gonna Kill the President!" A Federal Offense blends Dario Fo, Abbie Hoffman and the Muppets ======= the story of a confused student's revolutionary awakening and ====== submarines ====== return of the buffalo."
The secretive staging also employs detailed instructions to conspiring audience members: "To see the show, go to Manhattan and proceed to the middle of 10th Street, between Avenue A and Avenue B. Freepers, Rantburgistas, and LGF Lizardoids masquerading as our agents will contact you there. You must arrive at least 30 minutes before showtime." The show offers the show's reservation line, with the further warning, "Latecomers will not be shown to the theatre. And make sure you're not followed." Bring that bail bond gift certificate your commie aunt sent you, too.
The recording also sends a message to the feds: "If you're some kind of law enforcement agent or official, hang up now, there's nothing illegal happening here." Obviously, the Secret Service will take their word for it.
Tickets — "available to Republican delegates (with ID) for free" — are priced at $15. For reservations, call (no, please don't call, we want THEM, not US, arrested for death threats)
The probable defense is "it's metaphorical (satire, a joke, etc.), you backward rube."
Ok with me.
I hereby invite all Rantburgistas and fellow-travelers to Dallas to attend the premier of my new avant-garde guerrilla-theatre work, I'm Gonna Hang Noam Chomsky with Michael Moore's Guts, Set Them Both on Fire, and Suspend Their Smoking Carcasses From the Trinity Bridge.*
Directions will be encrypted in your next Zionist Conspiracy check stub.
Admission is 10 Iraqi dinars. If you traded your dinars for a truckload of panties, bring those instead.
*the tediously long-winded title is a nice retro-60s touch, no?
Moonbat designerCynthia Wold has written a letter to the editor of the Ithaca Journal (go figure) defending the costumes worn by a group of children during the recent Ithaca Festival parade.
(The Ithaca Journal, like many lefty rags, is exceedingly jealous of its property rights and forbids copying of its articles)
Snippet, for relevant comment under the fair use doctrine:
Reverence for a woman's yoni is lacking in the Western world and manifests as self-hatred or self-disgust which can manifest as menstrual cramping, ovarian/uterine cysts, birthing complications, sexual difficulties, hip and sacroilliac problems, and more.
I am planning a Yoni Art Exhibit/Teach-In for the next Spring Equinox and welcome community dancers, poets, and artists to participate. Call [deleted, appears in original article] for more information.
Cynthia Wold
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy ||
07/21/2004 7:49:24 AM ||
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Read the letter. This chick (a "fabric artist" no less) is one serious loon: if we reconsider the "yoni" (I'm considerin' yer yoni right now, babe), we can begin to counteract the evil masculine/patriarchial brutality in the world and begin the healing journey. LOL! You gotta love it; I'm sure the jihadis do. What planet is she from again?
Posted by: Dave D. ||
07/21/2004 8:40 Comments ||
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#3
hmm yoni.. that term is from india isn't it?
kind of amusing when you take into account how folks from india behave.. does she know most indian men think the women are lesser creatures by default? (my source = indian co-workers)
's far worse than she imagines it is here in the us
#5
For a deeper understand of who Cynthia Wold is look here.
Didn't know moonbat was a nice compliment for this person. I thought she might have been another Rachel Corrie heading down the wrong road. Oh well. I guess as long as she doesn't go to Israel to get hit by a dozer, she will be okay. My guess is her kids may have something to do with it.
If you read the article, she is saying female genitalia is regarded with "self-hatred, violation, rape, and sexual abuse in the world." Is Sandy trying to tell us something here. Maybe hubby didn't leave it in long enough, maybe too long? Someone help me out here.
#6
mhw - I caught that bit too. This is all Jane Fonda's fault. LOL! Her and her vagina-friendly (or should that be "yoniphilic"?) pals are out to take over the world (no, really, we mean it!). I was going to say the OBL & Co. would be furious, but then again, I doubt this registers on their screens.
#7
badanov- Thanks for the link. My God, she's certified to teach science and math! Gather up the young'uns. Something is seriously out of kilter here.
Posted by: Frank G ||
07/21/2004 9:52 Comments ||
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#10
At some point Feminism won and after that point those that continued to wave the flag of feminism because increasingly wacky and obsessed with their genitelia (and other women) in a way they always claimed men where with their equipment.
At the same time womens studies majors started appearing which added gasoline to the fire.
And now few want to be associated with modern feminism. Who can blame them.
#29
Fred and Badanov, how about "All your Yoni are belong to us" as the RB slogan?
Posted by: Tibor ||
07/21/2004 22:55 Comments ||
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#30
The "yoni" Sanskrit (ancient Hindi) for vulva, clitoris, vagina, and uterus. It encompasses the entire pelvis, pelvic muscles, and the sacrum (sacred) bone, and the powerful energy center located thereabout.
Oh great. A woman who's convinced that her snatch contains some kind of energy source. Watch out for this one, folks.
Posted by: Dave D. ||
07/21/2004 13:41 Comments ||
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#31
The "yoni" Sanskrit (ancient Hindi) for vulva, clitoris, vagina, and uterus. It encompasses the entire pelvis, pelvic muscles, and the sacrum (sacred) bone, and the powerful energy center located thereabout.
Oh great. A woman who's convinced that her snatch contains some kind of energy source. Watch out for this one, folks.
Posted by: Dave D. ||
07/21/2004 13:41 Comments ||
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Posted by: Super Hose ||
07/21/2004 14:33 ||
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... all firearms in the province. The measure is thought to be related to the celebration of the upcoming anniversary of the Revolution July 26, for which the capital city of Santa Clara has been designated as the principal site.
"This is not the first time they pick up all firearms," said a local resident who asked not to be named, "every time a member of the Political Bureau or the Council of State is coming this way, the same thing happens."
Surrender the blunderbuss, Carlos, gun sex will not be tolerated.
Posted by: Super Hose ||
07/21/2004 21:29 Comments ||
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Former world chess champion Bobby Fischer has appealed Japanese plans to deport him to the United States and hopes to find political asylum in a third country, a friends said Wednesday. Fischer was detained by Japanese immigration officials last week after trying to leave the country for the Philippines. Officials say his passport was invalid, and on Tuesday confirmed that he was being processed for deportation. Fischer is wanted in the United States for playing a rematch against Soviet world champion Boris Spassky in Yugoslavia in 1992. Yugoslavia was under international sanctions at the time, and U.S. citizens were banned from doing business there. After visiting Fischer in custody at Tokyo's Narita Airport, Miyoko Watai, of the Japan Chess Association, said Wednesday Fischer was appealing the deportation. Watai, a longtime friend of Fischer's, said he was also hoping to find political asylum in a third country. She refused to provide any further details, however.
They could send him to North Korea in "exchange" for the deserter. My advice to Bobby: if Kimmie challenges you to a chess match, lose. Quickly.
Proves my grandaddy's contention that even when you win, you can still be a loser.
Posted by: Steve White ||
07/21/2004 2:35:04 PM ||
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The crime he's wanted for is playing a chess game where he shouldn't have played it?
The 'platform" includes all the usual boiler plate from Move-on.org. Kerry must weed out all sophists who demonstrate imagination in the interview process.
1. Put Right-Wing Ideology First: We recognize that we need to cater to our right wing base rather than pesky moderates like Nancy Reagan and Orrin Hatch. Therefore will put ideology over science and deny all credible scientific evidence that stem cell research will save lives and that global warming exists.
2. Deny A Women's Right to Choose: We will continue, at all costs, to ensure that women are denied their Constitutional right to choose. We will appoint judges who will work to rollback that right and we will fight for legislation that infringes on this right.
3. Reward Our Wealthy Contributors: We will continue to pass tax cuts that benefit the wealthiest Americans who fund our campaigns and get us elected.
4. New Business for Our Friends With New No-Bid Contracts: We will provide no-bid contracts to our closest friends to ensure they will receive the largest contracts possible. Also, we will relaunch our secret energy taskforce so we can add more loopholes for big oil.
5. Add $10 Trillion in Deficits: In the past four years, this Administration has successfully taken the country from a $5.6 trillion surplus to a $5 trillion deficit -- a $10 trillion loss of revenue. We want to take the next step by adding an additional $10 trillion to the deficits, leaving the burden on the next generation.
6. Harm Our Environment: We will rollback generations of environmental regulations that protect our air, land and water. We will poison our water with arsenic and mercury; we will allow drilling in our most pristine natural wilderness; and we will make sure taxpayers pay to clean up our toxic waste sites.
7. Cut Aid to Children and Decimate Programs for Seniors: We will cut domestic programs that provide health care, early education and nutrition programs and after-school services to thousands of American children. We will continue to fail to live up to our commitment to fund our education mandate by $27 billion. We will also pass our $2 trillion plan to privatize Social Security.
8. Break Our Commitment to Veterans: We will once again promise veterans will be provided for under a Republican administration. We will then fail to provide the funding veterans need for health care, cut 500,000 veterans from the system entirely and close veterans' hospitals across the country.
9. Rush to War in Iraq: We are proud that we stubbornly rushed to war in Iraq without our allies, sent our troops into combat without proper equipment, over-stretched our military, and failed to plan for the peace.
10. Let Al Qaeda off the Hook: We will continue to divert our attention and resources from Afghanistan, break our promises to rebuild that nation. We let Bin Laden escape from Tora Bora to continue planning attacks against the U.S. from his hideout reportedly in the Afghanistan-Pakistan border region.
11. Leave America Vulnerable: We will under-invest in port, chemical and nuclear security, claiming the war in Iraq protects us here at home, and hope no one notices Ridge's and Ashcroft's warnings of an imminent attack on the homeland in the coming months.
Posted by: Super Hose ||
07/22/2004 1:40 Comments ||
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Cement barriers, 8-foot-tall chain-link fencing, and heavy black netting have been installed around the protest zone outside the FleetCenter, angering protesters who say they will be penned in and closed off from Democratic National Convention delegates.
Much of the area is located under abandoned elevated Green Line tracks that slope downward. The setup, which one netting installer called "an internment camp," will force tall protesters at the southern end of the zone to lower their heads to avoid banging them on green metal girders. Boston Box=Botox?
#1
Why waste such a great protest zone! Let's re-use it for the GOP convention. Boston is really NOT THAT FAR from NYC. Besides, it'll save the moon-bats travel time and expense.
Posted by: A Jackson ||
07/21/2004 23:14 Comments ||
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(2004-07-21) -- Former Clinton national security advisor Samuel R. "Sandy" Berger today returned the orginal copy of the U.S. Constitution to the National Archives.
"It was an honest mistake," said Mr. Berger, who until this morning was an advisor to Democrat presidential hopeful John Forbes Kerry. "I accidentally wrapped the Constitution around my left leg and mistakenly secured it with rubber bands."
A spokesman for the National Archives said he was pleased to have the Constitution back.
"Until Mr. Berger returned it," said the source, "our prime suspects were all in the federal judiciary."
#1
He fails to mention that The Declaration of Independence is among the missing / unreturned / whatever documents, heh. I wonder what he wrapped that one around...
Posted by: Super Hose ||
07/21/2004 14:11 Comments ||
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#3
because of the disproportionate clout those states have in Congress.
Actually, it's only disproportionate in the Senate (where all states are equal, as was intended). In the House, these states have huge representation.
McKinney Claims 4th District Primary
Outspoken Cynthia McKinney shouted "I'm back!" after a surprise primary victory in her old congressional district east of Atlanta
[the surprize was that she got over 50%- no run off needed]
Posted by: mhw ||
07/21/2004 9:29:30 AM ||
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Frontpage mag had this excellent article:
http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=14189
Radical islam has its first Congresswoman. Links to donor lists are provided.
Posted by: jawa ||
07/21/2004 10:16 Comments ||
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Let her be the face of the Democrat party, along with "Fast" Eddie Bernice Johnson, Maxine Waters, that dipshit Sheila Jackson Lee....
Posted by: Frank G ||
07/21/2004 10:34 Comments ||
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Hahaha, if this idiot was put into office again, it sure doesn't put her constituency in a very good light. Morons, the lot of them, as far as I'm concerned.
#4
sheila "the queen" jackson and cynthia "the anti-semite" mckinney.
those two bimbos are the quintessential poster children of everything that is wrong with the democratic party.
even worse...can you imagine the mentality of the idiots that would vote for these two? It's pretty scary to think people like that are walking around free.
"What in heaven's name was he thinking? What is so important that he would risk both his reputation and prosecution to remove these documents? What's there to hide?" stated Foley, R-Fla. There is no one with his experience who can claim that these are the actions of an absent-minded employee. Sandy Berger knows better.
"And we thought it was bad when they were only stealing furniture."
Posted by: Super Hose ||
07/21/2004 11:04:18 PM ||
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Can't we just go ahead & start calling them "Quislingcrats" now?
Posted by: Ricky bin Ricardo (Abu Babaloo) ||
07/22/2004 1:49 Comments ||
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NY Times softpedals the scandel (no surprize)
...Samuel R. Berger, the former national security adviser to President Bill Clinton, resigned abruptly Tuesday as a senior adviser to John Kerry's presidential campaign after the disclosure that he had improperly removed classified material on terrorism from a secure government reading room last year. ... Sandy Berger is my friend, and he has tirelessly served this nation with honor and distinction," Mr. Kerry said Tuesday in a statement. "I respect his decision to step aside as an adviser to the campaign until this matter is resolved objectively and fairly. [note the opening where they can criticize any resolution as not objective or not fair]"
.... Some Democrats suggested on Tuesday that the episode could severely hurt his chances of becoming secretary of state or taking another cabinet position in a Kerry administration... [you think]
Posted by: mhw ||
07/21/2004 12:12:51 AM ||
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The most shocking thing about the Bergler story is that Kerry was actually using this guy as a foreign policy advisor. After the foreign policy disaster called the Clinton Administration, I would have expected that Kerry would at least steer clear of those Clinton losers.
#2
Some Dems are thinking a fellow Dem leaked this in order to get it out of the way before the real election campaign.
This makes sense. If Berger was still kerry's senior foreign policy adviser in late Oct and the story got out then, it would probably shave 3-5% from the Kerry total.
#5
Ditto LOL on the Bergler: superb riff on the name.
Who's the leaker? One person I read last night (can't remember where) suggests that it's Bill Clinton of all people -- just clearing a path for the Hildebeast in 2008.
Posted by: Steve White ||
07/21/2004 11:08 Comments ||
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The Dem strategy is, so far,
1. deny the 'paper in the socks point',
2. pretend its all a big misunderstanding and
3. say the timing of the leak was a Republican dirty trick.
Not a bad strategy. The problem is the first two seem to be breaking down already. Archive officials did see paper in the socks and it looks like he Berger was a buglar on more than one occasion and was selective in what he took.
What if the 3rd point breaks down also and it was a dem operative (say a rival in the Kerry camp) who spilled?
#7
Wouldn't it have been better for a Repub to leak when Berglar is up on the dias in Boston slapping carry on the back? Much greater damage potential then. This seems to be a Dem leak.
Posted by: remote man ||
07/21/2004 13:39 Comments ||
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Remote,
Yes. That's a good point. An even better time for a leak would be in just before the election - like the dems breaking the GWB driving ticket story in 2000.
#9
Could be Sandy Burger too, as in a Wendy's triple. Biggie Size, natch...
Oh, at the Corner they note Lanny Davis' hand in this. He wrote a book on how to best disclose bad news:
Thus, Davis called the reporter he deemed most fair, the AP's John Solomon, with documents suggesting that Clinton had made fund-raising calls from the White House residence. The leak occurred on July 3, 1997, so the story would get lost on the Fourth of July holiday.
#10
would be a detriment to our security if clinton era bureacrats have the reigns of power again...
having them on skerry's team is a plus for the repubs...but then again there are quite a few americans who have fallen into the 'ignorance is bliss' trap, only time will tell.
Posted by: Dan ||
07/21/2004 13:58 Comments ||
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What really concerns me is what if he wasn't taking this stuff for political reasons, but rather that he is being paid to do so by some foreign entity. For me the political dimension is nowhere as serious as the security breach.
I hope the FBI is crawling up Bergers ass and performing full forensic analysis of his personal finances and phone records.
#13
Was listening to Glenn Beck in the car. Evidently, the 2nd trip was made because it was discovered taht he had missed a copy of the document he was trying to eliminate. Evidently, Richard Clark put something in his draft post-op report on OKC that was worth stealing twice.
Posted by: Super Hose ||
07/21/2004 14:27 Comments ||
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#14
Of course he praises him, traitors should stick together.
Berger -> Traitor -> Death by Flamethrower (No more wussy shots)
#15
You rich folks ever think that maybe Mr. Sandy got holes in his shoes thanks to the Reagan Bushitler tax cuts? It's hard on the streets these days.
Posted by: Capt America ||
07/21/2004 21:52 Comments ||
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#17
"OOps, yes, I inadvertently stuffed these highly sensitive documents in my underwear. I don't know how it happened. Purely an accident, believe me. Could happen to anyone."
#18
Maybe he was ashamed because he knocked over his chocolate shake thus defacing a stack of code-word documents. I recommend that cup-holders be installed in teh reading room as he seems to have had the problem on multiple visits.
Posted by: Super Hose ||
07/21/2004 22:36 Comments ||
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#19
Here's a very mysteriouso "developing" byline in red lettering on Drudge today: Archives Employees Suspicious of Berger... devised coding system, marked documents they knew Berger was interested in canvassing, watched him carefully... employees determined draft and all versions of 'millennium memo' had disappeared from files after Berger viewed them, WASH POST set to report, say sources... Developing...
Posted by: rex ||
07/21/2004 23:40 Comments ||
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Four Malaysians who renounced Islam lost an appeal in the nation's top court where they had sought a declaration that they have freedom to practise the faith of their choice, their lawyer said yesterday. 'The Federal Court this morning dismissed the appeal after taking nine months to deliberate the matter,' said Mr Ang Hean Leng. Mr Daud Mamat, 62, Ms Kamariah Ali, 51, her late husband Mohamad Ya and Mr Mad Yacob Ismail, 62, who served 20 months in jail for 'deviant practices inconsistent with Islamic teachings', renounced Islam in 1998. They were charged with contempt of the Syariah court for refusing to attend repentance classes which were part of the earlier sentence and were jailed for another three years in 2000.
They took their case to the Appeal Court, arguing that as they were no longer Muslims, the Syariah court had no jurisdiction over them. That appeal was dismissed. After serving their sentences, they continued to press the appeal in the Federal Court. They wanted to know whether the constitutional right to profess a faith 'includes the right of a Muslim, who has attained the age of maturity, to renounce Islam', said Mr Ang and added: 'The Federal Court today did not view these issues as being relevant.'
HARARE, Zimbabwe (AP) - President Robert Mugabe castigated private charities, religious groups and other aid organizations Tuesday for interfering in Zimbabwe's domestic politics and said legislators would be asked to pass a law allowing authorities to close some groups and arrest officials.
Mugabe said a new bill to tighten controls on such organizations will soon be introduced in the 150-member parliament dominated by his ruling party. "Non-governmental organizations must work for the party, which is me the betterment of our country. We cannot allow them to be used as conduits and instruments of honesty and integrity foreign interference," Mugabe said in an address at the opening of parliament.
Mugabe has repeatedly accused Western-funded charities, trusts and church and human rights groups of siding with his opponents and Britain, the former colonial power. "We remain patently opposed to mutant strains" of colonial era domination, Mugabe told lawmakers. "Colonizers for decades trampled on us. What have they to teach us about human rights?"
A fair bit as it turns out.
The proposed "Non-governmental Organizations and Churches Bill" calls for the registration of all groups and trusts involved in charity work and educational and research programs. Failure to register and acquire a government license would make it illegal for a group to operate. Staff members of groups that violated the law would face arrest. The bill also requires disclosure of the origins and use of all funds and the identity of foreign donors.
Opponents of the bill have likened it to sweeping media laws passed in 2002 that gave the government the power to close independent media, stifle criticism of its policies and arrest 31 independent journalists. The National Association of Non-governmental Organizations, voicing its concerns on the bill earlier this month, said it feared for the autonomy and independence of its 50 members if aspects of their work were criminalized. It has lobbied against the bill, calling instead for the formation of a self-regulatory body to enforce a code of ethics.
Better move: take a stand. But that's easy for me to say from 8,000 miles away.
Non-governmental groups have produced regular reports on alleged human rights violations that have left more than 200 people dead in political violence and driven tens of thousands from their homes since 2000.
Much of the violence has been blamed on ruling party thugs militants, police and troops. Charities have also accused the government of using food as a political weapon in recent parliamentary by-elections won by the ruling party.
Posted by: Steve White ||
07/21/2004 1:57:33 AM ||
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At amusement parks they often measure ride-goers to make sure that their height is sufficient to ride an amusement safely. Any NGO that cotinues to work in Afica would certainly pass any measurement of "patience." How can you not wak-away from a place that refuses to immunize its children against polio?
Posted by: Super Hose ||
07/22/2004 3:28 Comments ||
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A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
