LONDON (Reuters) - Chelsea warned their fans on Friday against throwing celery during matches, saying it was a criminal offence and that anyone caught lobbing the popular salad vegetable could be banned. "Drop the vegetable and put your hands up!"
Imagine for a moment the Detroit Red Wings telling their fans that they can't throw an octopus onto the ice after a home goal. Once you've stopped laughing, read on --
The unlikely warning follows referee reports which mention celery-throwing at two recent Chelsea matches and which are being investigated by the Football Association, the club said on its Web site. Call the salad inspectors!
The FA's investigation could result in sanctions being taken against the club, who said "the throwing of anything at a football match, including celery, is a criminal offence for which you can be arrested and end up with a criminal record. Now THAT would be embarrassing
"In future, if anyone is found attempting to bring celery into Stamford Bridge they could be refused entry and anyone caught throwing celery will face a ban." So the place where Harold and the Anglo Saxons turned back Harald Hardrada has sunk to food fighting... sad.
The club also urged fans who spot anyone throwing celery in the stadium to call a telephone number, adding that "all calls will be treated in confidence." That's even MORE embarrassing... being a salad rat.
Though apparently a growing problem with it landing on the pitch, Chelsea fans have been throwing celery among themselves, and singing an unprintable song about the vegetable, for more than two decades. I guess if they're enjoying themselves...
#6
At least the Canuks Hockey fans are now throwing bras on the ice and there is nothing being done about those that bring them in. Seems a bit uplifting to me, to read about all this support and all.....
VALPARAISO, Ind. - A teenager clocked driving at 93 mph in a 45 mph zone told police he had to get home in time to catch the school bus. OK...
A judge had sentenced Ryan Henry, 18, to ride the bus to school after an earlier speeding conviction, and Henry said he was rushing home after going to a gas station to buy an energy drink, said Porter County Sheriff's Deputy Roger Bowles, who ticketed Henry. It was the energy drink that made me mash the gas pedal, honest!
Henry appeared to accelerate after passing a marked squad car, then turned into a driveway and shut off the lights to his 2001 Mustang, Bowles said. Pure genius.
Henry was given a ticket for misdemeanor reckless driving and ordered to appear in court April 16. As opposed to felony stupidity, which is what he deserved.
The Associated Press left a message Thursday at a number for the Henry family in Valparaiso, seeking a response. "I wuz framed!"
Local men claim immunity from U.S. laws; cops not buying it Whenever I see "indigenous" in a story, I know it's gonna be good...
TRENTON -- Four men claiming diplomatic immunity as members of a "indigenous nation" that includes people from "the so-called planet Earth" and other planets such as Mars and Venus have been arrested and called frauds this week by Trenton police. Damn fine work by the Trenton PD, if you ask me. Ya can't get nuthin by them.
The four claim to be part of Abannaki Indigenous Nation, over which the U.S. has no authority, police said. The groups Web site links to the Universal Zulu Nation, which denounces the U.S. as a slave state. Ahhhh, I think I see where this is going. I wonder if they dress like Louie Farrakhan?
Police said theyve had "encounters" in the streets all week with the purported diplomats who claimed immunity from U.S. laws. In each incident, the men presented diplomatic identity papers which investigators determined were fraudulent, police said. That's a Man from UNCLE ID card, sir. Ya got anything else?
The first incident occurred on Sunday in the 200 block of Stuyvesant Avenue in Trenton. Police said Wilbert Harrington, also known as Ashir M. Bey, 27, of Willow Court, Hamilton, was arrested at 5:46 a.m. and charged with possession of a controlled dangerous substance and related charges, obstructing the administration of law, resisting arrest, and displaying fraudulent documentation. As of early yesterday, he was lodged at the Mercer County Correction Center. THE MAN be bringin me down!
Then at 9:29 p.m. Monday, Abdul Ali Amin, 33, whose last known address was in the 800 block of Carteret Ave., was the subject of a traffic stop at Perry and North Broad streets, police said. He was issued traffic summonses, and also charged with displaying fraudulent documentation, police said. Bail was set at $2,500. Let's see. License to kill gophers. By the government of the United Nations. Muldoon, slap the bracelets on him...
William McRae, also known as Born El-Rey, 33, was arrested Tuesday at 22 minutes after midnight on a local warrant following a traffic stop for fictitious tags at Stuyvesant and Hayes avenues, police said. An arrest document provided by police gave McRaes address as 824 Southard St. Police also they towed a car with phony diplomatic license plates from where it was parked at Anderson and Hewitt streets. Ambassador from Disneyworld? Don't think so...
The Trentonian unsuccessfully attempted to interview six men who said they were with "the diplomats" as they stood in the Trenton Police and Municipal Court lobby after McRaes arraignment yesterday. The men wouldnt give their names, and turned down interview requests there in the lobby. Klattu Barratta Nicto...
One of the two best-dressed men in the group, who said he was "a representative from Nation," said he and the group would visit the newspaper for an interview after court. Ahhhhh. "The Nation".
They did not appear, however. I'm sure if they did, it would've been...interesting.
Police told The Trentonian that the Muslim group first appeared in Philadelphia. Members were first recognized in Mercer County seven months ago, and authorities have had their eyes on them ever since. Muslims from another planet. Can ya beat that?
Agents from the Illinois Department of Revenue visited David & Eileen Wetzel on Jan. 4.
The agents informed the Wetzels that they were interested in their car, a 1986 Volkswagen Golf, that David Wetzel converted to run primarily from vegetable oil but also partly on diesel.
Wetzel uses recycled vegetable oil, which he picks up weekly from an organization that uses it for frying food at its dining facility.
"They told me I am required to have a license and am obligated to pay a motor fuel tax," David Wetzel recalled. "Mr. May also told me the tax would be retroactive."
Since the initial visit by the agents on Jan. 4, the Wetzels have been involved in a struggle with the Illinois Department of Revenue. The couple, who live on a fixed budget, have been asked to post a $2,500 bond and threatened with felony charges.
State Rep. Bob Flider, D-Mount Zion, also plans to support legislation favoring alternative fuels.
"I'm disappointed that the Illinois Department of Revenue would go after Mr. Wetzel," Flider said. "I don't think it is a situation that merits him being licensed and paying fees.
"The people at the department of revenue apparently feel they need to regulate him in some way. We want to make sure that he is as free as he can be to use vegetable oil.
#3
While I am very much of a small government, low taxes nature, I am going to argue in the governments favor on this one. To a large extent, automobile and truck fuel taxes go directly to road construction and maintainence. Further, the more a individual drives and the larger and heavier their vehicle is, the more they pay for the roads. Which is how I think it should be.
#4
EboregOnhzna, I would agree under condition that the taxpayer has a right to decide to what purpose his tax is allocated. If it goes 100% towards roads maintenace, fine (IDR should provide a proof and be liable to independent audit). If not, not so fine.
#7
Wetzel produced records showing he has used 1,134.6 gallons of vegetable oil from 2002 to 2006. At the higher rate, the tax bill would come to $244.24. "That averages out to $4.07 a month," Wetzel noted, adding he is willing to pay that bill.
But the Wetzels would discover that the state had more complicated and costly requirements for them to continue to use their "veggie mobile."
David Wetzel was told to contact a revenue official and apply for a license as a "special fuel supplier" and "receiver." After completing a complicated application form designed for businesses, David Wetzel was sent a letter directing him to send in a $2,500 bond.
Eileen Wetzel calculated that the bond, designed to ensure that their "business" pays its taxes, would cover the next 51 years at their present usage rate.
Now that's good government!
Posted by: Bobby ||
03/16/2007 6:40 Comments ||
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#8
I agree any state has a valid interest in collecting highway fuel taxes for maintenance of public roads, but the laws as written don't quite apply to used vegetable oil. The state revenue people should have turned the issue over to the state legislature right off, instead of singling out an individual.
This issue could arise at any time in other states which have fuel tax laws similar to Illinois. I'm surprised it hasn't already.
#9
There have been sporadic reports of local gov'ts panicking when their fuel tax receipts drop due to 'too many hybrid cars' using not nearly enough taxable gas...
#11
Collecting a tax for highway construction in one thing.
Requiring him to get a license as a special fuel producer and receiver and post a bond for using his own fuel is pure bureaucratic bullying on the part of the Department of Revenue.
Sounds to me someone should be fired and their wages used to post this 'bond'....
#12
And they also need permits and inspections for 'Hazardous Waste Incineration'. Oh, and transportation. I'm sure they can come up with other opportunities to regulate, tax and hassle, if they try a little harder.
#13
It's gonna get interesting when cars begin to be powered by electricity. Expect a mileage tax and mandatory GPS to record travel.
Posted by: ed ||
03/16/2007 9:16 Comments ||
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#14
Where's Al Gore, GreenPeace, and the Sierra Club? I figured they would have been all over this story. This has Green persecution over it.
They could always start their own religion. Call it the Greenies for example. Don't religious groups get some kind of taxation protection?
The IRS has too much time on their hands and need to spend less time shaking people down for spare change. Go after the terrorists sponsors in the U.S. who are cheating the tax system to fund their terrorist groups.
These people are on a fixed income; give them a break for cripes sakes. What a bunch of hooha's in the Dep't of Revenue.
#20
I was expecting this to pop up on some state's 'lost revenue' screen, since more people are modifying their cars to run on vegetable oil.
taxes on fuels pay for most of the road work and to avoid that is to my way of thinking a bit wrong. farmers can get exemptions for fuel used on the farm, but it is usually dyed so if they get their tanks dipped on the highway, they could be in trouble.
related taxation article: WA state is going after internet cigarette buyers for unpaid taxes; several have had pay garinshied (sic).
#22
So how did the Illinois Department of shakedowns Revenue find out about these people? Somebody snitched on them, or was there a stakeout at the food facility, or what?
These people are small potatoes, so is it a control thing, or what?
Posted by: Alaska Paul ||
03/16/2007 15:10 Comments ||
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#23
#22 AP: "These people are small potatoes, so is it a control thing?"
Well, yeah. Duh. It's the tax guys.
If they could figure out how to tax breathing, they'd do it.
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut ||
03/16/2007 16:03 Comments ||
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#24
Go listen to The Beatles' song "The Taxman". The State will have their pound of flesh.
Posted by: Deacon Blues ||
03/16/2007 16:59 Comments ||
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#25
assuming you could make a mass-production car run on hydrogen, would they levy all sources of water?
Posted by: Frank G ||
03/16/2007 19:37 Comments ||
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MADRID (Reuters) - If Spanish matador Fernando Cruz ever has children, he'll have doctors at the Valencia bullring to thank after he suffered a double goring. Cruz, 25, is recovering in hospital after the second bull of Tuesday's corrida caught him in the upper thigh, throwing him into the air, and gored him in the groin once he hit the ground.
Bull 2, Cruz 0...
Newspapers reproduced the eye-watering bulletin issued by surgeons at the bullring after a two-hour operation and film of the incident was played on the main evening news.
How did ESPN miss this one?
"Fernando Cruz is suffering from two horn wounds of 25 centimeters in length each. One involves the fibers of the abductor muscle and dissects the femoral artery, the other involves the scrotal area and eviscerates both testicles."
"Ouch" really doesn't cover it
Cruz was sitting up in his hospital bed on Wednesday. Astonishingly, he is expected to be back in action in around three weeks.
Little Fernando, on the other hand, will be out of service for a while.
Posted by: Steve ||
03/16/2007 09:48 ||
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#1
Newspapers reproduced
Did they have to use reproduced? I don't know which is worse, having your testicles ripped out or having your entire crotch packed in ice all the way to the hospital.
Posted by: ed ||
03/16/2007 10:12 Comments ||
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#2
"Matador's chances of fatherhood hurt by goring"
AlGore's bothering matadors now? Will he stop at nothing?
Oh, wait....
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut ||
03/16/2007 10:29 Comments ||
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#6
"Well, the bull got pretty good air with that toss. And here comes Fernando.....WOW, did you see that! As soon as he hit the ground, the bull nailed him again. That certainly gives new meaning to the phrase; "Hook um, Horns". Back to you, Biff."
Posted by: Steve ||
03/16/2007 12:01 Comments ||
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#7
I hate it when you see the words "eviscerate" and "testicle" in the same sentence. I don't think I could cross my legs any closer.
Posted by: Jonathan ||
03/16/2007 12:05 Comments ||
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#8
Seville teevee had some gruesome super slo-mo coverage of a junior matador bullfight while I was there this summer. The bull did not die well.
Malik Waris Afridi, from Khyber Agencys Kokikhel tribe, on Thursday demanded that the government take action against the Akakhel tribe that he said killed two men and a woman on the charges of adultery. Addressing a press conference at the Peshawar Press Club, Malik Waris flanked by Kokikhel tribesmen with the late Allah Noors children said that Akakhel tribesmen stoned to death his nephew Allah Noor, his friend Shahzad (both from Kokikhel) and Akakhel tribesman Watan Shahs wife. The deceased were innocent, and even Watan Shah urged his fellow tribesmen (Akkakhel) to spare the lives of his wife and the two men for being innocent, but to no avail, added Waris.The deceased woman used to deal in clothes, usually smuggled from the Bara to the city, and she had requested my nephew Allah Noor and his friend Shahzad to visit her house to help her resolve a dispute with political authorities, who had confiscated a huge quantity of cloth from the woman, Waris added.He said that according to tribal traditions, nobody could accuse a woman of adultery, if her own husband denied such charges. Even Maulana Sirajud Din, a local mufti, declared the killings as against Islam, he added. Waris said he would not blame any local organisation for the killings, but demanded that human rights organisations, the federal government, governor and political authorities take action against the Akakhel tribe for the killings of three people.
Posted by: Fred ||
03/16/2007 00:00 ||
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#2
I'll bet there's something against this in the Koran. I'll also bet there's something in the Koran that supports it. So everybody wins.
Except the dead folks...
"And those of your women who commit illegal intercourse, take the evidence of four witnesses from amongst you against them, and if they testify, confine them (i.e. women ) to the houses until death comes to them or Allah ordains for them a way out." This way was explained by Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) in clear unconditional terms.
Ubaada bin Saamit (Radiallaahu Anhu) says, "Rasulullah r used to become over-burdened when Wahi (revelation) used to descend upon him and his face used to become pale. One day revelation descended upon him r and he had the same experience. After the revelation he r said, "Take (this command of Allah) from me. Allah has ordained "a way out" for them (adultress). A person married in a valid Islamic contract would be lashed 100 times and then stoned to death. An unmarried person will be lashed 100 times and then expelled from the city for a year."(Ahkaamul Quran -Vol 2 Pg 107)
So, "way out" was not explained or interpreted by human logic, but was a revelation from Allah Taala. Similar are the examples of salaat, zakaat and other obligations in Shariah. The pragmatic method of salaat and zakaat is not found in the Quran, nor is any human using his limited intellect permitted to interpret them.
Every Muslim understands and believes very firmly that the method and times for salaah as well as the details pertaining to zakaat that were taught by Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) is the divine way shown by Allah Taala through revelation.
No Muslim in a sane state of mind can negate this. But then again what sane person would become a Muslim?
Ha -- in being politically correct, these folks forgot, that dogs are considered unclean animals in Islam?.. so why change to "Three Little Puppies?"
The story of the Three Little Pigs' battle with the Big Bad Wolf has delighted children since it was written more than 150 years ago. But the tale highlighting the merits of hardwork and practicality has become the latest to fall victim to political correctness.
A junior school production of the children's story has been renamed the Three Little Puppies for fear of offending Muslims. Organisers of a children's music festival have altered the popular characters and lyrics because of the multi-cultural nature of the youngsters involved and their parents in the audience.
But yesterday Islamic leaders condemned the politically correct move as misguided and said decisions like this were turning Muslims into 'misfits' in society.
Children from Honley Church of England Junior School in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, were due to perform in a reworking of the popular tale which features the three little pigs. The youngsters - aged from seven to 11 - were due to perform at Huddersfield Town Hall in June with 250 children from 63 schools singing along.
But organisers of the Kirklees Primary Music Festival decided to change the script to be 'sensitive' to Muslims at a recent committee meeting.
Committee member Gill Goodswen, head teacher of Stile Common Junior School, defending the move. She said: "We have to be sensitive if we want to be multi-cultural. It was felt it would be more responsible not to use the three little pigs.
"We feared that some Muslim children wouldn't sing along to the words about pigs,' she said. "We didn't want to take that risk. If changing a few words avoids offence then we will do so." She stressed the decision was not prompted by a complaint from any school.
She was a ninny all on her own.
But Shaykh Ibrahim Mogra from the Muslim Council of Britain branded the move 'bizarre'. He said: "The vast majority of Muslims have no problem whatsoever with the Three Little Pigs. It's always been the traditional way of telling the story and I don't see why that should be changed.
"There's an issue about the eating of pork, which is forbidden, but there is no prohibition about reading stories about pigs. This is an unnecessary step."
Other recent rows have involved 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' being changed to 'Baa Baa rainbow sheep' and Christmas events called 'winter' festivities. Mr Mogra said: "How far are we going to go? Are we going to change the seven dwarves because it's discriminatory towards people who are physically less able? Where do you draw the line?
"Every time we get these stories Muslims are seen more and more as misfits. We have to accept there's a predominant culture here."
His views were echoed locally in Huddersfield. Local councillor Terry Lyons added: "I can't believe that Muslims would be offended by this. This is pandering to a few extremists. People will take umbrage at this decision, making it easier for the BNP to recruit."
Mohammed Imran, of the Hanfia Mosque and Educational Institute said: "According to the Koran it's forbidden to eat pork or touch a pig, but there's no ruling about talking about them or singing about them."
Steve Price, head of Honley C of E school, said he had not played a part in the decision, but added: "We are part of the family of Kirklees schools. This family is set up to celebrate children's talents and I can well understand some head teachers being careful about not causing offence."
#5
Are you sure this wasn't originally published by scrappleface? Political Correctness creates situations so bizarre that they are indistinguishable from satire.
#6
"There's an issue about the eating of pork, which is forbidden, but there is no prohibition about reading stories about pigs. This is an unnecessary step."
Wait. If you're just not allowed to eat pork then why are Muzzies bitching about selling pork?
Posted by: Rob Crawford ||
03/16/2007 7:15 Comments ||
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#7
"Shaykh Ibrahim Mogra from the Muslim Council of Britain branded the move 'bizarre'."
There really are sane Muslims! This pervasive Western fear of offending anyone offends ME - what are they going to do about THAT?
#9
But Shaykh Ibrahim Mogra from the Muslim Council of Britain branded the move 'bizarre'. He said: "The vast majority of Muslims have no problem whatsoever with the Three Little Pigs. It's always been the traditional way of telling the story and I don't see why that should be changed.
"There's an issue about the eating of pork, which is forbidden, but there is no prohibition about reading stories about pigs. This is an unnecessary step."
This was my thought exactly. This isnt the muslims fault at all, but that of some silly school administrators.
Like the idiots who think that kashrut makes it illegal to play football (cause of the pigskin)
"Pigs are friends, not food"
BTW, Ive been in plenty of (non-jewish) stores that sold kosher items but not halal. Has to do with market demand, I suspect.
#10
"School renames Three Little Pigs to avoid offending Muslims"
They're wasting their time.
The wanna-be jihadis offensive moslems are offended by everything, including infidels having the unmitigated gall to breathe.
The normal muslims (like Mr. Mogra, and friends of mine) think they're pandering, ignorant PC bigots nuts.
I, on the other hand, think these clowns are pandering, ignorant PC bigots who set lower standards for those lower than different from themselves because they all know "those people" can't live up to the same standards as white Westerners.
Pfui.
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut ||
03/16/2007 10:18 Comments ||
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#11
Now it's going to be "Three Little Jews", and the wolf gets to eat them at the end.
#13
Kind of like how muzzies arent allowed to DRINK alcohol, but somoli cab drivers are making a federal case over not wanting to pick up passengers with a bottle of wine in their luggage.
#16
I knew this was going on in the UK as soon as I saw the headline. What the hell is going on in that once-proud country? Has the common man/woman lost their mind and spine? Gill Goodswen should be pilloried and made publicly to look like the idiot she clearly is. She should also be fired for being, well, dumb.
#17
Islam really needs a single voice to stand up and say what the line is. Having a million mullahs with their own interpetations will lead to the world thinking their nuts.
That and the constant seething and blowing themselves up that is.
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
Speeding teen wanted to catch school bus
Malik Waris Afridi, from Khyber Agencys Kokikhel tribe, on Thursday demanded that the government take action against the Akakhel tribe that he said killed two men and a woman on the charges of adultery. Addressing a press conference at the Peshawar Press Club, Malik Waris flanked by Kokikhel tribesmen with the late Allah Noors children said that Akakhel tribesmen stoned to death his nephew Allah Noor, his friend Shahzad (both from Kokikhel) and Akakhel tribesman Watan Shahs wife. The deceased were innocent, and even Watan Shah urged his fellow tribesmen (Akkakhel) to spare the lives of his wife and the two men for being innocent, but to no avail, added Waris.The deceased woman used to deal in clothes, usually smuggled from the Bara to the city, and she had requested my nephew Allah Noor and his friend Shahzad to visit her house to help her resolve a dispute with political authorities, who had confiscated a huge quantity of cloth from the woman, Waris added.He said that according to tribal traditions, nobody could accuse a woman of adultery, if her own husband denied such charges. Even Maulana Sirajud Din, a local mufti, declared the killings as against Islam, he added. Waris said he would not blame any local organisation for the killings, but demanded that human rights organisations, the federal government, governor and political authorities take action against the Akakhel tribe for the killings of three people.
