Article

2008-04-01 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Archived material is restricted to Rantburg regulars and members. If you need access email fred.pruitt=at=gmail.com with your nick to be added to the members list. There is no charge to join Rantburg as a member.

Posted by Fred 2008-04-01 00:00|| || Front Page|| [2 views ] Top

#1 yawn

Posted by Woodrow Slusorong7967 2008-04-01 00:14|| 2008-04-01 00:14|| Front Page Top

#2 "She's still determined to make it in the movies" >:

*Stop taking too many years = lead time between making movies.
*Stop picking movie plots whom don't match your strengths or persona, etc.
* "SWEPT AWAY" + "BODY OF EVIDENCE" WERE NOT BAD, BUT STILL HAD TOO MANY WEAK SPOTS vv POTENTIAL, espec WRONG ACTORS FOR LEADING MEN.

Surreally speaking, there are no bad movies or plots, only BAD ORGANIZATION, DEV, SYNERGY + SUPPORT ESPEC FROM DIRECTORS + PRODUCERS = PERSON(S)-IN-CHARGE WHOM SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

E.g. PENN STATE > I'm no trained Filmographer or Photographer, BUT I WILL SAY THAT FILM STUDENTS WHOM LISTENED TO MY ADVICE GOT HIGH GRADES AND AUDIENCE REVIEWS FOR THEIR WORK. I KNOW WHAT I LIKE. I CAN ALSO MAKE THE SAME CLAIM ON SEVERAL POPULAR NET SITES. In my own way, I'm the shadow behind their success.

Posted by JosephMendiola 2008-04-01 00:30|| 2008-04-01 00:30|| Front Page Top

#3 No! No! No!

That would be sacrelige. Blasphemy. Desecration!

Keep your greedy, untalented paws off Casablanca!

Posted by Mike 2008-04-01 08:43|| 2008-04-01 08:43|| Front Page Top

#4 There should be a fatwa against such things.

Posted by JFM">JFM 2008-04-01 09:09|| 2008-04-01 09:09|| Front Page Top

#5 They found another set of studio execs to waste even more money? The anti-war crap hasn't been enough red ink? Here's a concept - make movies the great number of Americans want not what the mau mauing herd of isolated small inbred personalities want. If you want to make Anti-American screeds for the international market, make them in Canada without any American tax incentives or write-offs.

Posted by Procopius2k 2008-04-01 09:16|| 2008-04-01 09:16|| Front Page Top

#6 NO!!!

Whats next, trying to remake Animal House, set in a Madrassa in Pakistan?

Posted by OldSpook 2008-04-01 09:32|| 2008-04-01 09:32|| Front Page Top

#7 *groan*

They have to piss on everything positive icon of American culture, don't they?

Well, I'll be happy since it will flop at the box office but there should be a law against this.

Posted by DarthVader">DarthVader 2008-04-01 09:48|| 2008-04-01 09:48|| Front Page Top

#8 Anyone knows a good imam willing to issue a fatwa against people who make such tasteless April Fool's jokes?

Posted by JFM">JFM 2008-04-01 09:54|| 2008-04-01 09:54|| Front Page Top

#9 I'll bet Madonna would like to be able to fly like a bird too.
But that's not gonna happen either.

Posted by tu3031 2008-04-01 09:55|| 2008-04-01 09:55|| Front Page Top

#10 I'm looking for the remake of Mommie Dearest, starring Britney Spears.

Posted by Anonymoose 2008-04-01 10:28|| 2008-04-01 10:28|| Front Page Top

#11 Another example of the lack of creativity from Hollywood and the relience of not actor/resses but big name people to attract the crowd. Why? Because nothing says sexy Hard Candy like a washed up 49 year old pop singer in a miniskirt. Unless, of course since she is Jewish and Guy Richie is British, they could set it in Tel-Aviv 1948 and call it something else.

This is a continuing trend. Animal House was somewhat remade in PCU, Enter the Dragon became Mortal Kombat. Hills have Eyes, Texas Chainsaw, Manchurian Candidate, Poseiden, and so on have all been redone. Hollywood has no new superstars on the horizon so they rely on familiar movies with washed personel.

There are so many great, true stories already written by excellent authors - Tin Can Soldiers, Punic and Gallic Wars. Tom Robbins books could be done in a Fear and Loathing Style, fantasy has the whole Shanarra series and chapters in the Simerillian.

Posted by swksvolFF 2008-04-01 11:25|| 2008-04-01 11:25|| Front Page Top

#12 "Enter the Dragon" is to be soon remade, IIRC, Chuck Norris mentioned it in a recent WND column.

Posted by anonymous5089 2008-04-01 11:33|| 2008-04-01 11:33|| Front Page Top

#13 Then look at the "original" movies that have done well. 300,etc. Not more of the same-old same-old.

You'd think Hollywierd would learn.

Want a sure-fire #1 box office success?

Make one loosely based on Michael Yon's stories about the troops in Iraq, starting with the chaos in Mosul with the infiltration of Al Qaeda, covering the "new strategy" of staying out with the people, culminating with the firefights and pacifications, and the firefight he described in his epic "Gates of Fire" post about the "Deuce Four" commander, and finishing with the "Welcome Home" banquet.

Starring Bruce Willis of course. Show our guys to be the heroes they are, Al Qaeda and the ambushers as the criminals and thugs they are, and the Iraqi people as the long suffering people who now have a glimmer of hope and freedom.

This will make a TON of money.

Posted by OldSpook 2008-04-01 11:51|| 2008-04-01 11:51|| Front Page Top

#14 A5089 asked me to ask for more b00bies in films pls.

Posted by Bright Pebbles 2008-04-01 12:17|| 2008-04-01 12:17|| Front Page Top

#15 It will be very interesting to see how a remake would twist the subplots - can't have people being noble and heroic anymore. Rick will have to get on the plane with Ilsa and sell out Victor to Strasser & Renault.

Posted by Menhadden Snogum6713 2008-04-01 12:40|| 2008-04-01 12:40|| Front Page Top

#16 Ricks' will be an S&M gay bar, Barry Manilow will be the piano player. Rick and Louie? A beautiful friendship? You better believe it. Barack Obama makes a cameo as Victor Lazlo, George Bush as Major Strasser. Madonna gets stopped by the TSA for nipple rings, tries to run for it and gets gunned down. THE END.
I remember I laughed when the writers went on strike. This shit ain't that hard.

Posted by tu3031 2008-04-01 12:51|| 2008-04-01 12:51|| Front Page Top

#17 tu3031
That's too subtle for hollywierd

Posted by Bright Pebbles 2008-04-01 13:35|| 2008-04-01 13:35|| Front Page Top

#18 //on, the Ghost of Rick,
" Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine, and proceeds to phuque it all up."
//off the G.of R.

Posted by USN, Ret. 2008-04-01 13:53|| 2008-04-01 13:53|| Front Page Top

#19 Don't forget the subplot where Britney Spears is trying to get money to buy the letters of transit from Karl Rove. She finally gets them by bedding Rick, played by KFed, in a menage a trois with Paris Hilton.

And the part where Cher signs The Internationale and drowns out a bunch of Marines start singing God Bless the USA.

Posted by Nimble Spemble 2008-04-01 14:00|| 2008-04-01 14:00|| Front Page Top

#20 Madonna wants to remake Casablanca because she actually thinks it's an anti-war movie.

Posted by MarkZ 2008-04-01 15:55|| 2008-04-01 15:55|| Front Page Top

#21 Madonna should remake "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace". She could play Jar Jar Binks.

Posted by DMFD 2008-04-01 19:05|| 2008-04-01 19:05|| Front Page Top

#22 In my own way, I'm the shadow behind their success.

JosephM, you are a never ending delight.

Posted by trailing wife 2008-04-01 22:13|| 2008-04-01 22:13|| Front Page Top

#23 "Whats next, trying to remake Animal House, set in a Madrassa in Pakistan?"

Now that might be fun to watch, OS. :-D

Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut 2008-04-01 23:01|| http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/]">[http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/] 2008-04-01 23:01|| Front Page Top

23:49 Jan
23:44 Sonny Phomons3598
23:09 Chuck Simmins
23:01 Barbara Skolaut
22:53 Skunky Elmereter3408
22:33 Skunky Elmereter3408
22:24 Gromosh Lumumba7345
22:19 Eric Jablow
22:13 trailing wife
22:04 JosephMendiola
22:03 trailing wife
21:50 Barbara Skolaut
21:45 McZoid
21:35 JosephMendiola
21:30 JosephMendiola
21:25 JosephMendiola
21:22 Frank G
21:13 Frank G
21:11 ryuge
21:08 trailing wife
21:05 Nimble Spemble
21:02 JosephMendiola
20:54 JosephMendiola
20:51 JosephMendiola