Article

2005-10-18 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Top Ten Signs Your Barber Is Working For Al Qaeda

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Posted by Steve 2005-10-18 08:39|| || Front Page|| [5 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 Barber: H-h-how would you like it sir?
Customer: Just short back and sides.
Barber: How do you do that?
Customer: Oh, you know, just short back and sides.
Barber: It's not a... a razor cut, RAZOR CUT BLOOD ARTERY MURDER SPUrt.. arr...
Customer: No, just ordinary short back and sides, you know...
Barber: It's just s-s-s-scissors then...
Customer: Yes.
Barber: You wouldn't rather forget all about it?
Customer: What?
Barber: You wouldn't prefer to have it just combed?
Customer: Oh, no.. I want something cut off!
Barber: Cut, CUT HEART HITCHCOCK MURDER BLOOD PSYCHO HOMICIDE SPURT ARTERY TREMOR CORTEX Arrrgg...!

(The barber fakes a few quick snips.)

Barber: There, finished.
Customer: I beg your pardon?
Barber: I've finished cutting, cutting, CUTTING, CUTTING YOUR HAIR!
Customer: Well, you haven't even done any cutting yet.
Barber: All right, I confess I didn't cut your hair. I hate hair. I-I I can't bear cutting it. I have this uncontrolable fear whenever I see hair. My mother said I was a fool! She said the only way to overcome my fear would be to become a barber. So you know what I did? I spent four ghastly years at the hairdresser's training center in Topness. I didn't want to be a barber.

I wanted to be... A *TERRORIST*!

[cue music]

I'm a terrorist and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I bomb all day

[chorus]
Heâs a terrorist and heâs okay
He sleeps all night and he bombs all day

[terrorist]
I cut down crowds, I make bomb vests
I go to the lavatory
On Ramadan I go shopping
For lots more IEDs

[chorus]
He cuts down crowds, he makes bomb vests
He goes to the lavatory
On Ramadan he goes shopping
For lots more IEDs

Heâs a terrorist and heâs okay
He sleeps all night and he bombs all day

[terrorist]
I mow down Shiites, I hoist my rump
And say five daily prayers
Iâll put on womenâs clothing and hang around in mosques

[chorus]
He mows down Shiites and hoists his rump
And says five daily prayers
Heâll put on womenâs clothing and hang around in mosques

Heâs a terrorist and heâs okay
He sleeps all night and he bombs all day

[terrorist]
I hijack planes, I wear silk hose
A burkha and a bra
I like goats instead of girlies, just like my dear pappa

[chorus]
He hijacks planes and wears silk hose
A burkha and a bra
He likes goats instead of girlies, just like his dear pappa

Heâs a terrorist and heâs okay
He sleeps all night and he bombs all day!

[With apologies to Monty Python]

Posted by Zenster 2005-10-18 22:23|| 2005-10-18 22:23|| Front Page Top

#2 Or to be more precise instead of a haircut its your head!

Posted by Bardo 2005-10-18 22:48|| 2005-10-18 22:48|| Front Page Top

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