I yelled at my husband last night. Not pick-up-your-socks yell. Not how-could-you-ignore-that-red-light yell. This was real yelling. This was 30 minutes of from-the-gut yelling. Triggered by a small, thoughtless, dismissive, annoyed, patronizing comment. Really small. A micro-wave that triggered a hurricane. I blew. Hard and fast. And it terrified me. I’m still terrified by what I felt and what I said. I am almost 70 years old. I am a grandmother. Yet in that roiling moment, screaming at my husband as if he represented every clueless male on the planet (and I every angry woman of 2018), I announced that I hate all men and wish all men were dead. If one of my grandchildren yelled something that ridiculous, I’d have to stifle a laugh. Nice. I feel sorry for her husband.
My husband of 50 years did not have to stifle a laugh. He took it dead seriously. He did not defend his remark, he did not defend men. He sat, hunched and hurt, and he listened. For a moment, it occurred to me to be grateful that I’m married to a man who will listen to a woman. The winds calmed ever so slightly in that moment. And then the storm surge welled up in me as I realized the pathetic impotence of nice men’s plan to rebuild the wreckage by listening to women. As my rage rushed through the streets of my mind, toppling every memory of every good thing my husband has ever done (and there are scores of memories), I said the meanest thing I’ve ever said to him: Don’t you dare sit there and sympathetically promise to change. Don’t say you will stop yourself before you blurt out some impatient, annoyed, controlling remark. No, I said, you can’t change. You are unable to change. You don’t have the skills and you won’t do it. You, I said, are one of the good men. You respect women, you believe in women, you like women, you don’t hit women or rape women or in any way abuse women. You have applauded and funded feminism for a half-century. You are one of the good men. And you cannot change. You can listen all you want, but that will not create one iota of change. Marriage. Why men build bars.
In the centuries of feminist movements that have washed up and away, good men have not once organized their own mass movement to change themselves and their sons or to attack the mean-spirited, teasing, punching thing that passes for male culture. Not once. Bastards. Don’t listen to me. Listen to each other. Talk to each other. Earn your power for once. That is because men don't give a f*ck about that. Men have their own problems and a screaming, feminist harpy ain't one of them.
The gender war that has broken out in this country is flooding all our houses. It’s rising on the torrent of memories that every woman has. Those memories have come loose from the attic and the basement where we’ve stashed them. They are floating all around us and there is no place left to store them out of sight. Not just memories of sexual abuse. Memories of being dismissed, disdained, distrusted. Memories of having to endure put-downs at the office, catcalls in the parking lot, barked orders at a dinner party. And, for some reason, the most chilling memory of all, the one Christine Blasey Ford called up and that we all recognized: the laughter. The laughter of men who are bonding with each other by mocking us. When Ford testified under oath that the laughter is the sharpest memory of her high school assault, every woman within the sound of her voice could hear that laughter, had heard that laughter, somewhere, somehow. Sounds like the writer needs to start drinking. Heavily.
No man right now understands the flood that is rushing through women’s brains, and only women in the deepest denial have evacuated their minds before the flood could reach them.
When good men like Sen. Christopher A. Coons (D-Del.) give heartfelt, sincere speeches about how we must listen to women, I don’t know whether to coo or laugh or cry or yell. Think about “listen to women” as a program for change. It says to women: You will continue to suffer these abuses, men will continue to do disgusting things to you, the storms will keep coming, the tide will continue to rise, but now, we will listen and help you rebuild. Sen. Coons has the same level of "concern" that Slow Joe has, and this feminist writer bought into it.
Pay attention people: If we do not raise boys to walk humbly and care deeply, if we do not demand that men do more than just listen, we will all drown in the flood. And there is no patriarchal Noah to save us.
#2
The ancient Greeks believed their wombs made them crazy - hysteria comes from hystera, the Greek word for uterus. I'm starting to suspect they may have been on to something.
#5
I yelled at my husband last night. Not pick-up-your-socks yell. Not how-could-you-ignore-that-red-light yell. This was real yelling. This was 30 minutes of from-the-gut yelling.
When women do it they get press time.
When men do it they get jail time.
Posted by: Dave D. ||
10/13/2018 5:58 Comments ||
Top||
#7
Sure ladies! Just as soon as you stop rewarding disruptive male behavior, it will come to a stop. The day that the badboys and rule breakers sob at home alone and the quiet respectful men get all the hot chicks will be the final victory of feminism.
But this will never happen. Feminists have tons of ideas about how men should change, but no thought to themselves.
Posted by: Herb McCoy ||
10/13/2018 6:22 Comments ||
Top||
#8
Feminism is the death of the western industrialized world.Declining populations occurring now. Men refusing to marry or date. The peaceful single life for many men. I don't know the numbers but I am seeing this trend in my local community. The women I see have three kids on average with different men. Single fighting for child support or any help they can be given.Selling drugs or doing prostitution. Drunk night out now and then alone using Taxis to get about. Working two jobs stressed out. Wanting drama then hating drama. On one pill or another. Prone to take the speed route. Reflecting on this it seems the Muslim men have it right. They have the large families. They have the submissive wives. Well, so it seems as reported. Oops!, media can't report the truth anymore. Seeing the results is proof enough for me.
#9
I should add that men who import women to marry are finding this trend; within a year a child is born, she leaves and he must pay child support. They learn the American way.
#10
I fear this entire women empowerment thing was overdone.
Female privilege. From the start of the old republic the franchise and militia responsibility were pretty tight in a Venn Diagram overlap. The 19th Amendment broke that. The franchise needs to be restricted to those with skin in the game. Doesn't mean they have to serve anymore than the general population of men, but all must enroll in 'unorganized militia' to attain the franchise. If anyone is called to active duty but fail to comply, stripped of the franchise.
#23
Male college student would have mandatory counseling if they posted this... In a Blue State they would have their firearms confiscated if they were a Republican (or Conservative)...
Equal Rights, You betcha.
#25
"Marriage. Why men build bars."
That was funny.
Basically with all this misogyny the feminists are treating all many as a single unit. It's similar to racism and its wrong. Men process our emotions and communicate differently. Not incorrectly, differently. Accept that and learn to work within the guidelines of that and you'll be happier, fight it and you'll become a harpy screaming impotently into the wind.
#26
My husband of 50 years did not have to stifle a laugh. He took it dead seriously. He did not defend his remark, he did not defend men. He sat, hunched and hurt, and he listened. For a moment, it occurred to me to be grateful that I’m married to a man who will listen to a woman. The winds calmed ever so slightly in that moment. And then the storm surge welled up in me as I realized the pathetic impotence of nice men’s plan to rebuild the wreckage by listening to women.
So he failed your shit test and you despise him even more.
You can listen all you want, but that will not create one iota of change.
Then I guess there's no point in listening, is there?
Pay attention people: If we do not raise boys to walk humbly and care deeply, if we do not demand that men do more than just listen, we will all drown in the flood.
"Castrate your sons!"
Repeal the 19th? Hell, we need to institute purdah.
And I almost feel sorry for her husband, but then I remembered that he was dumb enough to marry this feckless fronthole and stay married to it.
#27
y husband of 50 years did not have to stifle a laugh. He took it dead seriously. He did not defend his remark, he did not defend men. He sat, hunched and hurt,
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