Article

2020-05-17 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Greta Thunberg Jeered at as She Stars as Psychic Warning of Climate Apocalypse in Pearl Jam Clip

[SPUTNIKNEWS] Greta "Pippi" Thunberg
...an autistic sixteen year old Swedish expert on climate change...
has been picked to star in a new music video for Pearl Jam's environmental doom tune "Retrograde", with the prominent teenage climate alarmist playing a fortune teller who warns of imminent climate disasters, the video's director revealed.

Speaking to Variety, the video's director Josh Wakely confirmed that the psychic was in fact Swedish teenager Thunberg. Wakely added that the band had planned to film live footage but were forced to scrap the plans due to the raging coronavirus (aka COVID19 or Chinese Plague)
...the twenty first century equivalent of bubonic plague, only instead of killing off a third of the population of Europe it kills 3.4 percent of those who notice they have it. It seems to be fond of the elderly, especially Iranian politicians and holy men...
pandemic and related lockdown.

"Something Pearl Jam has done so extraordinarily well for 30 years is to speak truth to power and fire warning shots", he said. "Several other Gigaton songs spoke to me, but this one kept me up at night".

Wakely noted he had chosen Thunberg because her presence helped render the necessary "emotion" in what has been conceived as a provocative promo video, dubbing her "an absolute stone-cold hero" for her relentless climate change struggle.

The animated music video shows a man visit a fortune-teller, Greta Thunberg, who presents him with a crystal ball. As the man gazes into it, he witnesses melting glaciers and devastating floods hitting Manhattan, Gay Paree, Seattle, and London, while wildfires continue to devour Australia.

Posted by Fred 2020-05-17 00:00|| || Front Page|| [11131 views ] Top

#1 Do Little Greta's puppet-masters er parents know what pearl jam is slang for?

Posted by Lex 2020-05-17 10:02|| 2020-05-17 10:02|| Front Page Top

#2 Have you seen the collection of rather creepy tattoos going about?

The vidoe, why do I picture a '78 Lord of the Rings knock-off, some animated hobbit/Na'vi critter all looking about anxious when a live action druid viking Greter...wait wait wait..like crystal ball fortune teller, or cards, or see what the bones say? Do people just skip the story board nowadays, or do they just powerpoint it in?

Pearl Jam so old, the album is named after a character in the animated Transformers.

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 13:21|| 2020-05-17 13:21|| Front Page Top

#3 Greta is soooooo smart and precocious that I am SURE she knows what pearl jam means. lol

Posted by Clem 2020-05-17 13:52|| 2020-05-17 13:52|| Front Page Top

#4 Got it.

Greta the Skald disembarks her schooner 78 LOTR style of the horse riders, donned in spear and magic helmet. The brandish's the Producer's Bauble of Fortune, a magic 8-ball. It goes into a supercut of Oliphants dying out.
Then a couple lines.
*ominous voice*
"You must go to the Gigaton system."
"The Gigatonne system?"
"No, the Gigaton system. There you find the Ticketmaster, Pearl Jam, the 90s Seattle Grunge who instructed me."
*fainting desperate voice*
"Greter! eeggh."

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 14:03|| 2020-05-17 14:03|| Front Page Top

#5 Voiceover character is Avatar, from the '77 flick Wizards.

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 14:26|| 2020-05-17 14:26|| Front Page Top

#6 Since retirement homes are closed, we use some olde VHS footage from when they could run and even jump, put some Dire Strait's Money for Nothing type graphics on them and play at 1.2x speed so we don't hear the arthritis catch up with the riffs.

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 14:52|| 2020-05-17 14:52|| Front Page Top

#7 Put a fortune cookie at the end,
"To reach Nirvana, you must reach Kurt Kobane before the NRA does."

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 14:54|| 2020-05-17 14:54|| Front Page Top

#8 About 2/3 of the way through,

*dramatic music fade out*

"But Master (Avatar), I thought Green Day is on our side!?"
"It would appear that way my xer/lgtqebachild, but they plotted to and made money from Maddan Football, a most diabolical toxic masculinity plot device. They are neocons skin shifters and not to be trusted, nevermore."

*Hard Guitar Hero solo*

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 15:00|| 2020-05-17 15:00|| Front Page Top

#9 About 2/3 of the way through,

*dramatic music fade out*

"But Master (Avatar), I thought Green Day is on our side!?"
"It would appear that way my xer/lgtqebachild, but they plotted to and made capital from Maddan Football, a most diabolical toxic masculinity plot device. They are neocons skin shifters and not to be trusted, nevermore."

*Hard Guitar Hero solo*

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 15:01|| 2020-05-17 15:01|| Front Page Top

#10 /double-clutch

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 15:01|| 2020-05-17 15:01|| Front Page Top

#11 You're on fire, swksvo. Grunge shall rise again!

Posted by Lex 2020-05-17 15:39|| 2020-05-17 15:39|| Front Page Top

#12 It needs a dramatic ending.
OK, Fantasia's Night on Bald Mountain type scene, only instead of mountain devil, it is a lake with dystopian steam-punk machines eating the trees into wood chips, which then get made into printed money.

Ave Greta, walks up the mountain with two river smelt perched in her cupped hands. She places them in the polluted lake and voila, the water turns clear and a Fern Gully forest sprouts and dissolves the machines. Sponge Bob rainbow, no, double rainbow, materializes.

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 16:06|| 2020-05-17 16:06|| Front Page Top

#13 *OK, this is the point I go watch the actual deal, see how it was done by the Joshing Wokely.

Please don't eat the bread crumbs, I need them to get back.

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 16:09|| 2020-05-17 16:09|| Front Page Top

#14 Har har har har.

Not going to link it, but if you do check it out...

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 16:42|| 2020-05-17 16:42|| Front Page Top

#15 Holy rusted metal, Die Flermaus!

Climbing out of that mind pit was two bolles of absolute Gaia worship scenery.

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 16:51|| 2020-05-17 16:51|| Front Page Top

#16 *Die Fledermaus.

Posted by swksvolFF 2020-05-17 16:52|| 2020-05-17 16:52|| Front Page Top

14:34 Frank G
14:28 Melancholic
14:27 NoMoreBS
14:14 swksvolFF
14:12 swksvolFF
13:54 mossomo
13:51 mossomo
13:50 NoMoreBS
13:50 Abu Uluque
13:44 Abu Uluque
13:41 NoMoreBS
13:39 Abu Uluque
13:36 mossomo
13:36 swksvolFF
13:32 mossomo
13:26 Frank G
13:12 Regular joe
13:12 mossomo
13:11 swksvolFF
13:08 Abu Uluque
13:00 swksvolFF
12:59 Regular joe
12:55 Skidmark
12:53 Skidmark