Article

2019-11-14 Home Front: Politix

Impeachment Committee Calls First Star Witness Greta Thunberg

[Babylon Bee] WASHINGTON, D.C.‐Rep. Adam Schiff and the House Intelligence Committee called on their first star witness to prove that Donald Trump committed high crimes and misdemeanors: Swedish climate change activist Greta Thunberg.

"Ms. Thunberg, thank you for being here today," Schiff began but was immediately interrupted by the girl:

"How dare you!" she shouted.

"Oh, heh, um... I'm on your side, here, let's take it easy," Schiff continued awkwardly. "What information do you have on Donald Trump and his blatant corruption when it comes to his phone call with Ukraine?"

"You have stolen my dreams and my childhood!" she shouted, pounding the table in front of her. The crowd began to get emotional, weeping and shouting and screaming at the sky all at once. "This is all wrong! I shouldn't be here. I should be back in school!"

Even Schiff himself shed a few tears and led the committee in a standing ovation for Thunberg's bravery. "I think we've heard enough. I declare Donald Trump impeached!" Sadly, Schiff was later informed that he couldn't simply declare impeachment.

Thunberg concluded her testimony by shouting, "PEOPLE ARE DYING!" to thunderous applause.

The committee is now expected to call on other star witnesses like Alyssa Milano, Jane Fonda, and Debra Messing.

Posted by Besoeker 2019-11-14 01:39|| || Front Page|| [11136 views ] Top

#1 "This is all wrong! I shouldn't be here..."

"Neither should we, don't let that stop you."

Posted by Dron66046 2019-11-14 01:47|| 2019-11-14 01:47|| Front Page Top

#2 Classic.

Reminds one of the trial scene from Woody Allen's Bananas.

Fielding Melish: "I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham."

Posted by Lex 2019-11-14 07:18|| 2019-11-14 07:18|| Front Page Top

#3 Guessed Bee.

Didn't know until the click.

Posted by swksvolFF 2019-11-14 11:25|| 2019-11-14 11:25|| Front Page Top

09:43 Mullah Richard
09:27 Warthog
09:11 Mercutio
09:07 AlmostAnonymous5839
08:52 Matt
08:24 Matt
08:20 SteveS
07:43 Procopius2k
07:42 BrerRabbit
07:42 Procopius2k
07:39 Procopius2k
07:36 Procopius2k
07:35 Procopius2k
07:34 trailing wife
07:31 Procopius2k
07:30 NN2N1
07:22 NN2N1
07:18 trailing wife
07:14 Richard Aubrey
07:10 NN2N1
07:09 Besoeker
07:03 NN2N1
06:58 NN2N1
06:58 Besoeker