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2010-06-23 -Short Attention Span Theater-
"Zombies, quite simply, would be a game-changer."
Jonah Goldberg, "The Corner" @ National Review
On the effect of zombies on political theories of international relations:
...It is fundamental to all zombie scenarios that efforts to "weaponize" zombies fail almost immediately. To be sure, governments would try to use zombies for their own nefarious ends, but these efforts would only hasten the advance of the zombie menace....

I will have more to say about this. But let me just throw it out there: a true zombie invasion will trump traditional international theory (never mind farm subsidies!). The computer modeling of zombie proliferation alone would convince realists, neocons, even the vast majority pacifists to either liquidate the zombies at all costs or to bunker down for their own protection. Zombies, quite simply, would be a game-changer.
I'm not too sure of that.
  • I can easily envision the talking heads on the teevee discussing the "Myth of the Zombie Threat."
  • There will be those who point out that zombie attacks have only effected 24 percent of the population, and not all of them have been fatal. You actually have a better chance of getting the flu than you do of having your brain devoured by a zombie, so what's the fuss?
  • The DNC will point out the unfairness of losing one's right to vote as soon as decomposition sets in.
  • The Berkeley City Council will establish the city as a Zombie Amnesty zone, where the walking dead will be safe from fascist police repression.
  • The civil rights establishment will pore over the figures for zombies that have been blown away by shotguns, carefully tabulating how many were what color.
  • There will be street demonstrations in Seattle and New York demanding justice for zombies, who are after all no different from you and me except for being dead and wanting to eat brains.
  • At least one major fashion house will incorporate shrouds into its fall line...
Posted by Mike 2010-06-23 10:45|| || Front Page|| [11135 views ]  Top

#1 The zombie pic is great, but how about something more subtle, like alec baldwin?
Posted by flash91 2010-06-23 11:20||   2010-06-23 11:20|| Front Page Top

#2 I've been reading "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" recently. The premise of the story is that slavery is not only backed by the southern slave-owners but also vampires, who view slavery as a means to raise and harvest easily disposable victims. All this, of course, leading to the Civil War. Great for some lighter summer reading!
Posted by Dar 2010-06-23 12:55||   2010-06-23 12:55|| Front Page Top

#3 Check out World War Z by Max Brooks. It is the oral history of our war against the zombies. Picture a cross between Studs Terkel's The Good War and Night of the Living Dead.
Posted by Formerly Dan 2010-06-23 13:23||   2010-06-23 13:23|| Front Page Top

#4 I'm picturing two al-Qaeda middle managers discussing how to get the zombies to yell "Allah Akbar" instead of "brains!" before blowing being blown up by remote control.

In Chicago, they would just lock the zombies in steel boxes until it was time to bring them out to vote, and probably register voters for ACORN, as well. Otherwise, their official jobs would be as public school janitors.

In Arizona, they would just herd the zombies down to the border for all you can eat Mexican food.
Posted by  Anonymoose 2010-06-23 13:46||   2010-06-23 13:46|| Front Page Top

#5 The zombie pic is great, but how about something more subtle, like alec baldwin?

Now that would be an insult to Zombies.... Who, at one time, were living, caring people.
Posted by CrazyFool 2010-06-23 13:57||   2010-06-23 13:57|| Front Page Top

#6 I wonder how the talking heads will spin this.
Posted by gorb 2010-06-23 13:58||   2010-06-23 13:58|| Front Page Top

#7 Yeah, if you've done a bunch of rum swizzles, it's best not to upgrade to zombies.
Posted by KBK 2010-06-23 14:21||   2010-06-23 14:21|| Front Page Top

#8 Pretty sure Castro is "metabolically challenged". Possibly Kimmie too.
Posted by DMFD 2010-06-23 15:16||   2010-06-23 15:16|| Front Page Top

#9 Zombies are an allegory for (militant) Islam.
Posted by phil_b 2010-06-23 18:58||   2010-06-23 18:58|| Front Page Top

#10 "First they came for the zombies, and I did nothing..."
Posted by Frank G 2010-06-23 19:55||   2010-06-23 19:55|| Front Page Top

#11 We'll, they've been filming the sequel to Shaun of the Dead at Wimbledon today.
Posted by Eric Jablow  2010-06-23 21:46||   2010-06-23 21:46|| Front Page Top










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