We gotta keep this for historical purposes. Our grandchildren may someday ask "What was NBC?"
The network's 2007-08 schedule:
Monday
8 p.m. "Chuck"
Ground?
9 p.m. "Heroes"
Bet it's not about Iraq.
10 p.m. "My Own Worst Enemy" / "The Philanthropist"
Return of "The Millionaire"?
Tuesday
8 p.m. "Biggest Loser: Families" / "Biggest Loser: Couples"
Game shows? Reality shows? People still watch that stuff?
9:30 p.m. "Kath and Kim"
Mike & Ike? Nard & Pat? Cisco & Pancho?
10 p.m. "Law & Order: SVU"
I think the Law'n'Order cow's got blisters on her udders.
Wednesday
8 p.m. "Knight Rider"
Son of My Mother the Car.
9 p.m. "Deal or No Deal"
Another game show?
10 p.m. "Lipstick Jungle" / "Law & Order"
"Moo! Owww! Easy on the udders!"
Thursday
8 p.m. "My Name Is Earl"
Mine's Fred. Betcha we never meet.
8:30 p.m. "30 Rock"
No idea...
9 p.m. "The Office"
Dilbert: The series?
9:30 p.m. "The Office" / SNL Election Specials / "The Office [spinoff]"
I'm getting dizzy from the spinoffs.
10 p.m. "ER" (the final season) / "Celebrity Apprentice"
"Hello. I'm Doctor Bob! And this is my apprentice!"
"Say! Ain't she Paris Hilton?"
"Yes. She is. She'll be removing your gall bladder this afternoon."
Friday
8 p.m. "Robinson Crusoe"
I guess it'll save them some money on casting.
9 p.m. "Deal or No Deal" / "Friday Night Lights"
Oboy. More gameshows. Is Vanna still around?
10 p.m. "Life"
Tomorrow night: The Universe.
The night after: And everything.
Sunday
Fall: "Sunday Night Football"
Probably somebody will watch it.
Winter:
8 p.m. "Merlin"
Ripping off Harry Potter, are they? Or Robin Hood? Robin Hood meets Harry Potter?
9 p.m. "Medium"
Bet it's not well done. Ripoff of "I see dead people"? "Ghost"?
10 p.m. "Kings"
Saul. David. Absolam. Jonathan. Jeroboam. Those guys. Lotsa opportunities to rewrite biblical history. Work in some oppression of the Philistines, maybe a few explosions. And no temple on the mount.
Summer 2009:

Monday
8 p.m. "American Gladiators"
Good, solid intellectual fare, by Gawd!
9 p.m. "America's Toughest Jobs"
NBC teevee reviewer on there?
10 p.m. "Dateline NBC"
"Hello. I'm Keith Olberman. And this is my celebrity apprentice..."
"Say! Ain't she..."
"Yes. It's Paris Hilton. She'll be producing news segments for us tonight."
Tuesday
8 p.m. "Most Outrageous Moments"
"Real people! Real embarrassed!"
9 p.m. "America's Got Talent"
"That'd be the ones that couldn't make the cut on American Idol.
10 p.m. "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (Encores)
Moooooooooooooo!
Wednesday
8 p.m. "Shark Taggers"
Phun with pherocious phish? Or Mike Hammer without the warmth and humanity?
9 p.m. "America's Got Talent" (Results Show)
American Idull.
10 p.m. "Law & Order" (Encores)
Want some milk? The cash cow's still giving.
Thursday
8 p.m. "The Office" (Encores)
Wally grows a ponytail. The pointy-haired boss wants a database. He thinks it should be mauve because that has the most RAM. Hilarity ensues.
8:30 p.m. "The Office" [Spinoff] (Encores)
The pointy-haired boss grows a ponytail. Wally builds a mauve database. Hilarity ensues. Scott Adams sues.
9 p.m. "Last Comic Standing"
The others fell asleep.
10 p.m. "The Listener"
He was the last comic standing.
Friday
8 p.m. "Chopping Block"
Good idea. Kill the turkeys in public.
9 p.m. "Dateline NBC"
"Hello. I'm Keith Olberman. And these are my apprentices..."
"Say! Ain't they...?"
Sunday
7 p.m. "Dateline NBC"
"That's right. Tonight's segments are produced by Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and Nicole's baby.
8 p.m. "Monk"
Still around after all those years. Wouldn't touch him, myself. He's probably infected with something.
9 p.m. "Nashville Star"
"Hey, y'all! It's American Idull!"
10 p.m. "Kings" (Encores)
Tonight: Uriah fights his final battle! Mrs. Uriah finds a surprising new husband!