Article

2007-06-19 Africa Subsaharan

The president of Gambia can cure AIDS, but just on Thursdays, the only day when his healing powers work. The cure includes applying a green sludge to the skin of the patient, sprinkling a mystery liquid, having the patient swig a brown broth, and topping it all off with a banana snack. Whirling about the patient and uttering verses from the Koran are also part of the treatment.
Verses from the Koran. Knock me down with a feather.
President Yahya Jammeh says this treatment, with its seven secret herbs, can cure AIDS "with absolute certainty" if patients meet two requirements: 1) abstaining from alcohol, tea, coffee, sex, and theft during the multiweek course of treatment, and 2) ceasing to take antiviral medications. So far no one has come back to complain that it didn't work for them.

Posted by Nimble Spemble 2007-06-19 07:45|| || Front Page|| [11130 views ] Top

#1 President "Yahya" Jammeh Carter?

Posted by Spot">Spot 2007-06-19 08:37|| 2007-06-19 08:37|| Front Page Top

#2 Our Colonel can cure hunger with eleven secret herbs and spices. So there.

Posted by ed 2007-06-19 08:38|| 2007-06-19 08:38|| Front Page Top

#3 Someone give him a state! Oh, wait...

Posted by Excalibur 2007-06-19 08:45|| 2007-06-19 08:45|| Front Page Top

#4 Of course, bananas can cure AIDs, or at the very least, prevent it, if used for safe sex purposes. Didn't see that coming, did you?

Posted by anonymous5089 2007-06-19 09:08|| 2007-06-19 09:08|| Front Page Top

#5 Jeez, ya see such great works as this from their leading politicians and ya just gotta wonder why Africa's so fucked up.
Must be Global Climate Change Warming...

Posted by tu3031 2007-06-19 09:30|| 2007-06-19 09:30|| Front Page Top

#6 Anthropomorphic idiocy?

Posted by Bright Pebbles in Blairistan 2007-06-19 11:03|| 2007-06-19 11:03|| Front Page Top

#7 anonymous5089, you're a bad person.

Posted by gromgoru 2007-06-19 11:28|| 2007-06-19 11:28|| Front Page Top

#8 Dude, my banana can cure all the evils of the world!

Posted by Herb 2007-06-19 12:21|| 2007-06-19 12:21|| Front Page Top

#9 Where is the world AIDS federation denoucing this fool? Oh wait he's black. Come to think of it I'm willing to bet he will ether get some kind of medical research grant from them.

Posted by Icerigger 2007-06-19 16:43|| 2007-06-19 16:43|| Front Page Top

#10 Please forgive the off-color commentary.

Jam a banana into the appropriate orifice and AIDS isn't a problem.

However sick it might seem, AIDS is essentially the same behavioral modification measure that venereal disease represented during the nineteenth century. Sleep around all you want, just be sure to have paid up your burial fees in advance.

As a man who is totally disgusted by infidelity, it's really difficult for me to summon much sympathy regarding the vast majority of promiscuous shitheads who acquire and disseminate this lethal disease. Welcome to Hell, assholes.

Posted by Zenster">Zenster 2007-06-19 21:42|| 2007-06-19 21:42|| Front Page Top

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