From The Nose on Your Face, which bills itself as "News so fake you'll swear it came from the mainstream media"
With the elections just a few days away, Republicans continue to scoff at anti-war hunger strikes as rookie stuff and have quietly suggested that the anti-war movement should elevate their game if they really want results.
Yeah, the notion of Cindy Sheehan surviving on banana smoothies for a couple days really has us up nights, said one Bush staffer. These guys have really got to step it up if they want to be taken seriously. They need to draw on the heritage of their 1960s anti-war predecessors. Im pretty sure that if the bunch of them set themselves on fire, wed take notice.
Self-Immolation has been practiced as a means of protest throughout history, but was most common during the Vietnam War, when several Buddhist monks and American citizens burned themselves to death.
If Cindy Sheehan, Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn and Danny Glover were all simultaneously lit up like torches, wed probably have the troops home in a couple weeks, continued the staffer. I mean, I cant promise anything-- I'm just free-lancing here. But that sort of
demonstration of commitment
might get us to realize the error of our ways. I might be going out on a limb here, but a crispy Barbra Streisand might be worth a roll back of the tax cuts. Hell, I'd marry a gay Hollywood producer and adopt several Pakistani refugees if you set Alec Baldwin ablaze."
Heartwarming, isn' it?
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