Article

2014-03-15 -Signs, Portents, and the Weather-

U.S. Farmer Dies Again... this Time for Real

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Posted by Fred 2014-03-15 00:00|| || Front Page|| [2 views ] Top

#1 I'd put off the burial for a little while, just in case...

Posted by Incredulous 2014-03-15 06:20|| 2014-03-15 06:20|| Front Page Top

#2 Makes me wonder, I've heard reports that many people exhumed bear signs of premature burial, In other words, scratching at the casket lid, I plan to be cremated, I DON'T plan to suffocate In my coffin.

Now to plan NOT to be burned alive?

I've instructed my daughter to BE SURE.

(In other words, cut off a finger or two, any blood, wait.)

Posted by Redneck Jim 2014-03-15 10:28|| 2014-03-15 10:28|| Front Page Top

#3 I've instructed my heirs to shoot my remains in the LaGrange 5 Garage. If they fail this minor damn request I swear to fuck to haunt their Porches wiring until the end of time.

Posted by Shipman 2014-03-15 12:08|| 2014-03-15 12:08|| Front Page Top

#4 "you poke him...no, you do it. He's startin' to get gamey...no, he always smelled like that..."
Scenes played out at the local medical examiner's office.
There was one local worthy in Cut-and-Shoot, TX, that had this story play out TWICE. He was so funky nobody wanted to examine too close. He was finally done in by a UPS truck.

Posted by ed in texas 2014-03-15 18:38|| 2014-03-15 18:38|| Front Page Top

#5 He can still vote right?

Posted by Bangkok Billy 2014-03-15 18:58|| 2014-03-15 18:58|| Front Page Top

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