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2007-01-29 -Lurid Crime Tales-

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Posted by Anonymoose 2007-01-29 00:00|| || Front Page|| [11133 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 Carol said that because Smith and Hollingsworth didn't know to demand money from the collection plate, "You could tell they weren't churchgoing people."

Carol doesn't miss much, does she? :-)

Posted by gorb 2007-01-29 01:28|| 2007-01-29 01:28|| Front Page Top

#2 The Ohio Militia is always on duty.

Posted by Anguper Hupomosing9418 2007-01-29 03:34|| 2007-01-29 03:34|| Front Page Top

#3 Hollingsworth was arrested 12 times between 1981 and 1992 on charges including aggravated burglary, kidnapping, robbery and safecracking.

Hang him!

Posted by Besoeker 2007-01-29 03:51|| 2007-01-29 03:51|| Front Page Top

#4 Father Lumpe is very popular in the Columbus Diocese. What makes me even more angry/frustrated is that Fr. Lumpe and the great folks of his parish (not a wealthy parish) would have given these thieves just about anything if they had asked for help. But when they tried to stick them up in God's house...these thieves messed with the wrong people.

Posted by Thraviper Thriger1738 2007-01-29 06:26|| 2007-01-29 06:26|| Front Page Top

#5 As for the rest of the congregation, most are elderly and didn't hear the goings on

So that's ok, then. Actually, likely a goodly proportion of them are jealous that they missed the fun.

Posted by trailing wife 2007-01-29 06:53|| 2007-01-29 06:53|| Front Page Top

#6 The robbery began late in the Mass, after the members of the congregation had contributed their weekly offerings

I can't rememeber the order of the Mass anymore but Jeebus - Every good Catholic knows that someone who arrives after the consecration has not really attended Mass.

These boneheads were asking for it.....

Barely off topic but just for you OldSpook -

A penitent has stepped into the confessional, shuts the door and begins to confess - "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. . . " The man recounts his sins to the priest and saves the big one for last - "and Father, I killed a man."

The priest nods his head, reflects for a moment and says "My son, the Lord has heard your petition for forgivness and for your penance, you must say three rosarys."

The man is incredulous at his light punishment. "WHAT!! Father, you don't understand! I killed a man in cold blood."

The priest says "I understand but the love of our Lord is so great that he absolves you of this sin."

The man is now very upset "Father, this is not right, I killed a man, I broke the fifth commandment. You don't understand - Haven't you ever killed a man before?!"

The priest answered quickly "Oh no, my son - I'm a Franciscan, not a Jesuit."

Try the veal and don't forget to tip your servers.

I'm sorry Fred/mods but I've been waiting for 25 years to tell that joke to someone who would get it.

Posted by GORT 2007-01-29 08:38|| 2007-01-29 08:38|| Front Page Top

#7 "One guy, I betcha in his 70s, was laying into the bad guy with no fear at all," Bob said. "Those four were heroes. They knew he had a gun."

Dumb robbers. If they had been carrying mortars and planning to fire them at random into the suburbs the BBC would have accused these old gents of a war crime.

Posted by Excalibur 2007-01-29 09:36|| 2007-01-29 09:36|| Front Page Top

#8 You could tell they weren't churchgoing people."

Carol may not be a Rantburger, but I'd say she has the lead for Understated Snark of the Week.

Three cheers for the spunky old geezers!

Posted by SteveS 2007-01-29 15:11|| 2007-01-29 15:11|| Front Page Top

#9 Good joke GORT. As the product of a Jesuit education in high school and college, I was well prepared for the rigors of Parris Island. On my first day in high school the Jesuits made it clear we were no longer in the care of the kindly nuns, just as my D.I made it clear when I stepped off the bus that I was no longer at home with mommy.

Posted by Sgt. D.T. 2007-01-29 18:03|| 2007-01-29 18:03|| Front Page Top

#10 GORT: technical note. Priests are not members of holy orders. And monks do not generally hear confessions of the general public.

So the punchline would be "...I'm a priest, not a Jesuit."

Posted by Anonymoose 2007-01-29 18:08|| 2007-01-29 18:08|| Front Page Top

#11 Anymoose, "Holy Orders" is the sacrament by which one is ordained a priest. Fransciscans are an order, a group recognized and approved by the Church, which has priests. Not all Franciscans are monks, although someone commonly called a monk might be a priest, having recieved Holy Orders.

Posted by Sgt. D.T. 2007-01-29 21:34|| 2007-01-29 21:34|| Front Page Top

09:46 JessicaL
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