Article

2005-08-16 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Archived material is restricted to Rantburg regulars and members. If you need access email fred.pruitt=at=gmail.com with your nick to be added to the members list. There is no charge to join Rantburg as a member.

Posted by Fred 2005-08-16 00:00|| || Front Page|| [11126 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 A google on Ruvolo+turkey is very instructive.

Story: Kids stole credit card, bought crap (including turkey), threw turkey out window into traffic, hit woman in face.

The Surgery That Put Her Back Together: For eight hours, doctors methodically worked as, piece by piece, they repaired womanâs smashed face

Turkey toss victim leaves hospital (Google cache): Her jaw still wired shut and a tracheotomy tube still in her throat...

I say, fry the bastards, in oil, with a turkey.

Posted by Angie Schultz 2005-08-16 00:18|| http://darkblogules.blogspot.com]">[http://darkblogules.blogspot.com] 2005-08-16 00:18|| Front Page Top

#2 ima call fore bannin frozen turkeys!

>:(

Posted by muck4doo 2005-08-16 02:13|| http://meatismurder.blogspot.com/]">[http://meatismurder.blogspot.com/] 2005-08-16 02:13|| Front Page Top

#3 Mucky, the un-frozen turkey would probably have almost the same impact at the speed involved. That applies to a live turkey as well, it would probably have no time to flap wings more than once. You may need to ban turkeys altogether.

Posted by Sobiesky 2005-08-16 02:38|| 2005-08-16 02:38|| Front Page Top

#4 Don't know if this happens elsewhere, but eagles feeding on roadkill kangaroos and cattle out in the Western Australian bush, end up going through peoples windscreens. I recall a graphic description from someone who found a car that run off the road and the eagle and driver were both dead, the driver having been clawed to death. I make a point of slowing right down when I see eagles on the road.

Welcome back Sobiesky.

Posted by phil_b 2005-08-16 03:09|| 2005-08-16 03:09|| Front Page Top

#5 Tossing a turkey maybe rare but tossing other heavy objects is not. You will find that most pedestrian walkways across freeways are fully covered, especially in metropolitan cities.

Before they were covered, irresponsible kids or gang member initiation usually required that you toss heavy rocks at incoming (high speed) traffic. Usually, people die after impact.

Posted by Poison Reverse 2005-08-16 07:00|| 2005-08-16 07:00|| Front Page Top

#6 Mucky, the un-frozen turkey would probably have almost the same impact at the speed involved.

There was a Mythbusters on this. It took them three tries to get the chicken-cannon tests right. I can't remember what the results were, though.

Posted by Robert Crawford">Robert Crawford 2005-08-16 07:28|| http://www.kloognome.com/]">[http://www.kloognome.com/] 2005-08-16 07:28|| Front Page Top

#7 IIRC, it didn't matter if the turkey was frozen solid or ready for Thanksgiving dinner, it still penetrated the glass...

Posted by IG-88 2005-08-16 08:26|| 2005-08-16 08:26|| Front Page Top

#8 There was a 3 Mythbusters on this.
I saw all of them. The final result, after they got the test conditions correct, was that the thawed turkey splattered on the simulated aircraft windshield while the frozen turkey went thru it like a cannon ball.

Posted by Steve">Steve 2005-08-16 08:28|| 2005-08-16 08:28|| Front Page Top

#9 Mr. Cushing explained:

"With God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

Posted by Jackal">Jackal 2005-08-16 08:55|| home.earthlink.net/~sleepyjackal/index.html]">[home.earthlink.net/~sleepyjackal/index.html] 2005-08-16 08:55|| Front Page Top

#10 Steve, aircraft windshield is much stronger than a car windshield. I stand by my un-frozen turkey. I were a part of an involuntary experiment of a similar nature about 4 & 1/2 months ago, so I know my ... err, physics.

Posted by Sobiesky 2005-08-16 09:45|| 2005-08-16 09:45|| Front Page Top

#11 Oh, sure, a car windshield would be toast. I've had little rocks you couldn't see coming bust mine bad enough I had to replace it.
Just remembered that when I was a teenager my Dad and I were hauling our boat back from the Cape after a weekend fishing trip. While we were passing under a bridge outside of Boston, we heard a loud bang. Pulled over to see what happened and found the windshield on the cabin of our boat had a big hole in it. Looked inside and found a big chunk of concrete that had gone through the window, smashed thru the cabin door and ended up denting the gas tank in the back of the boat. Saw a couple of kids on the bridge out of the corner of my eye just before we drove under. Cops showed up, but never found anyone. If they had dropped that rock a couple of seconds sooner, it would have gone thru our truck windshield and most likely killed one of us. Turkey boy here needs to do hard time as a lesson.

Posted by Steve">Steve 2005-08-16 10:11|| 2005-08-16 10:11|| Front Page Top

#12 "When you oulaw turkeys,
only outlaws will have turkeys!"

Posted by BA 2005-08-16 10:36|| 2005-08-16 10:36|| Front Page Top

#13 Steve,

I guessed you backed up #5 with a personal story. This dangerous act hardly ever gets recorded.

Posted by Poison Reverse 2005-08-16 10:37|| 2005-08-16 10:37|| Front Page Top

#14 Or you could do as Repairman Jack did. Find the one who did it and hang him off the bridge so the truck trailers go splat. Fictional character, sure, but an appealing notion.

Posted by Jackal">Jackal 2005-08-16 10:42|| home.earthlink.net/~sleepyjackal/index.html]">[home.earthlink.net/~sleepyjackal/index.html] 2005-08-16 10:42|| Front Page Top

#15 Jackal, didn't Jack pull the guy up at the last moment for the first few passing trucks?

(The fellow in question had thrown a cinder block from an overpass, killing Jack's mother. Jack caught the fellow doing it again.)

Posted by Robert Crawford">Robert Crawford 2005-08-16 10:45|| http://www.kloognome.com/]">[http://www.kloognome.com/] 2005-08-16 10:45|| Front Page Top

#16 WKRP.... Les Nessman's Thankgiving stunt. "Who knew turkeys couldn't fly?"

Posted by john">john 2005-08-16 11:53|| 2005-08-16 11:53|| Front Page Top

#17 John, damn, beat me to it.

Posted by Xbalanke 2005-08-16 12:25|| 2005-08-16 12:25|| Front Page Top

#18 She's nuts.

Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut 2005-08-16 14:08|| 2005-08-16 14:08|| Front Page Top

#19 There's no way in hell I'd let some moron off like this! What'd he think was going to happen when he dropped that turkey with the intent of hitting her windshield? This was not negligence or any sort of accident--this was intentional!

I'd forgive the little bastard after he also went through 8 hours of facial reconstruction and spent several weeks with his jaw wired shut and eating through a tube. But first, let me demonstrate to him the effects of being hit in the face by a turkey with the help of this baseball bat...

Posted by Dar">Dar 2005-08-16 15:38|| 2005-08-16 15:38|| Front Page Top

#20 You could have my Ex cook the turkey and a slap across the jaw with a drumstick would feel just like a Louisville Slugger...

Posted by .com 2005-08-16 15:43|| 2005-08-16 15:43|| Front Page Top

23:54 JosephMendiola
23:37 JosephMendiola
23:34 JosephMendiola
23:24 Alaska Paul
23:18 JosephMendiola
23:07 Red Dog
23:06 JosephMendiola
23:05 Alaska Paul
23:02 JosephMendiola
22:53 JosephMendiola
22:52 RWV
22:50 Frank G
22:49 Frank G
22:46 Phil Fraering
22:45 Red Dog
22:43 Frank G
22:33 tzsenator
22:17 mac
22:17 phil_b
22:12 FeralCat
22:02 mac
21:56 Silentbrick
21:50 Frank G
21:38 Barbara Skolaut