Article

2004-08-11 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Sword fight breaks out at hardware store

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Posted by Dragon Fly (on vacation) 2004-08-11 8:14:54 AM|| || Front Page|| [11126 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 Zed: Bring out the Gimp.
Maynard: But the Gimp's sleeping.
Zed: Well, I guess you're gonna have to go wake him up now, won't you?

Posted by Chris W.">Chris W. 2004-08-11 09:26|| 2004-08-11 09:26|| Front Page Top

#2 CW - Great PF bit, heh!

I prefer axe handles. Make mine hickory.

Posted by .com 2004-08-11 09:36|| 2004-08-11 09:36|| Front Page Top

#3 ...they found Bostic by following a trail of his blood, which led them to the chainsaw department.

/Stephen King

Posted by BH 2004-08-11 10:07|| 2004-08-11 10:07|| Front Page Top

#4 Bostic told police he asked a Home Depot employee for a pushcart so that he could load some two-by-fours. The employee told him to take a cart that contained some wallboard because it had been in an aisle for a while, according to police.

As Bostic began to load his lumber, however, Sun appeared and demanded the cart back, police said.

A couple of things:

1. Even if a pushcart has been sitting somewhere for a while, if it has some item(s) on it, it probably belongs to someone. There's more than enough room for doubt there, so why touch it or even suggest touching it?

2. Why couldn't this Bostic guy have gone out to go look for an empty cart on his own? Why bug an employee about getting an empty cart? I've been to Home Depot before, and I always grab a cart as I go in, especially if I know what I'm planning to buy, and if I'm going to get it in bulk quantity.

Sun might have overreacted a bit, but apparently Bostic got what was coming to him, what with the stitches and the missing tooth...

Posted by Bomb-a-rama 2004-08-11 10:16|| 2004-08-11 10:16|| Front Page Top

#5 All blood-stained lumber at Home Depot now 50% off!

Posted by Dar">Dar 2004-08-11 10:39|| 2004-08-11 10:39|| Front Page Top

#6 ...Sun appeared and demanded the cart back, police said...both men then swung their fists at each other

That's always my first reaction when someone demands something from me.

Posted by Rafael 2004-08-11 10:51|| 2004-08-11 10:51|| Front Page Top

#7 2 guys in a 2X4 fight at Home Depot? Cool!
Let me know when there's a pie fight at BJ's Wholesale. I'm there!

Posted by tu3031 2004-08-11 11:02|| 2004-08-11 11:02|| Front Page Top

#8 I prefer to sword fight at the sporting goods store. Not only is there more fire power in a nine iron, but they give fewer splinters.

Posted by Zpaz">Zpaz 2004-08-11 11:10|| 2004-08-11 11:10|| Front Page Top

#9 "Have at you!"

"Gesundheit!"

Posted by mojo">mojo 2004-08-11 11:11|| 2004-08-11 11:11|| Front Page Top

#10 Don't tell me the nametags on the orange aprons were D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis or Porthos. En garde!!

Posted by Doc8404 2004-08-11 11:20|| 2004-08-11 11:20|| Front Page Top

#11 LOL BH!
I assume none of the contestants were in irons.

Posted by Shipman 2004-08-11 12:10|| 2004-08-11 12:10|| Front Page Top

#12 A Home Depot aside story:

A few months ago I brought in a cart to get some sheetrock & such but I had to go to the return aisle first. Some little foreigner walks by and grabs my cart! I start givin' him the Yosemite Sam treatment for about 15 feet but he predictably keeps walking, playing the Dumb Foreigner^TM routine and pretending not to notice me. It's kinda hard not to note my voice, especially if I'm yelling at you - more than one friend thinks I could do an admirable stand-in for one of the SNL's Loud Family members.

Wanna play that way? Fine...

I go get another cart, get my electrical stuff and head on over to grab my sheetrock & such. I see the little foreigner load about 10+ items on to the Cart Formerly Known As Mine, so I keep gathering my stuff. Once I'm done I move my new cart off nearer to the cash registers (for the quick getaway) and return to my former cart. Freddy Foreigner turns the corner to go get some more stuff for the Cart Formerly Known As Mine, so I grab the cart and walk it well out into the garden section, about 150 yards away from the lumber section.

Since I'm so into this schadenfreude thing, I walk back to the lumber section only to see Freddy Foreigner looking around for his cart. My day made, I grab my (new) cart & cash out.

Don't get mad, ever. GET EVEN.

Posted by Raj">Raj 2004-08-11 13:22|| 2004-08-11 13:22|| Front Page Top

#13 This illustrates an excellent lesson: when sword fighting, don't slash, thrust ! Much harder to parry.

Posted by Carl in N.H.">Carl in N.H. 2004-08-11 13:27|| 2004-08-11 13:27|| Front Page Top

#14 Requires good footwork, heh.

Posted by .com 2004-08-11 13:28|| 2004-08-11 13:28|| Front Page Top

#15 Don't get mad, ever. GET EVEN.

I probably would have simply dumped the cart's contents on the floor and walked off. :)

Posted by Bomb-a-rama 2004-08-11 14:10|| 2004-08-11 14:10|| Front Page Top

#16 "Don't get mad, ever. GET EVEN. I probably would have simply dumped the cart's contents on the floor and walked off. :)"

-I would've said I'm INS and asked to see his green card.

Posted by Jarhead 2004-08-11 14:24|| 2004-08-11 14:24|| Front Page Top

#17 lol raj! im always like hear em stories like that. that is sound like sometin ima do. :)

Posted by muck4doo 2004-08-11 14:29|| http://www.meatismurder.blogspot.com]">[http://www.meatismurder.blogspot.com] 2004-08-11 14:29|| Front Page Top

#18 Muck, after your comment yesterday, I'd surrender my cart to you even if it was loaded to the hilt with my stuff. You don't carry that Glock around do you??

Posted by Rafael 2004-08-11 14:50|| 2004-08-11 14:50|| Front Page Top

#19 ima not have cc permit so itn stay at home. i was thinkin aply for one but em glock 22 kinda hevy for that. i wuld need make another trip to em gun sho.

Posted by muck4doo 2004-08-11 15:20|| http://www.meatismurder.blogspot.com]">[http://www.meatismurder.blogspot.com] 2004-08-11 15:20|| Front Page Top

#20 I wonder if they carry clue-by-fours at HD?

Posted by Seafarious">Seafarious 2004-08-11 15:25|| 2004-08-11 15:25|| Front Page Top

#21 Seafarious â LOL!

Posted by B 2004-08-11 15:28|| 2004-08-11 15:28|| Front Page Top

#22 Yoo steal caht. Yoo have no honahh! Ass-Ho!

Posted by Wei Sun 2004-08-11 16:01|| 2004-08-11 16:01|| Front Page Top

#23 A guy took my cart in a grocery store once and when he left it unattended for a few minutes I filled it full of marshmallows.

Posted by Deacon Blues 2004-08-11 16:12|| 2004-08-11 16:12|| Front Page Top

#24 Whay I want to know is: why couldn't this have been two 19-year old hard-bodied blondes in a Victoria's Secret?

Posted by Pappy 2004-08-11 16:31|| 2004-08-11 16:31|| Front Page Top

#25 Pappy - Because 19-year-old hard-bodies blondes have more sense.

Mucky - I must have missed it yesterday. You've got a Glock? Good for you! I'm impressed.

Are you going to take it hunting? ;-)

Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut 2004-08-11 18:44|| 2004-08-11 18:44|| Front Page Top

#26 Perhaps another hint about Muck4doo's secret identity?

http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=971109.

It would explain some things, but create other problems.

Posted by Phil Fraering 2004-08-11 21:23|| http://newsfromthefridge.typepad.com]">[http://newsfromthefridge.typepad.com] 2004-08-11 21:23|| Front Page Top

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