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2004-12-27 Arabia
First Islamic satellite will go into orbit in 15 months
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Posted by Steve White 2004-12-27 1:13:08 AM|| || Front Page|| [11139 views since 2007-05-07]  Top

#1 ROFL! Cool. This can be a live-fire exercise drone for one of anti-sat programs. Hell, we should offer to underwrite a portion so they can send up several - we need a solid test program. We have to test an array of interceptor missiles, as well as airborne, space-based, and ground-based beam weapons. We could even work on a capture, reprogram, and release sequence... much like the way that Islamic countries deal with terrorists, only they seem to skip the reprogram step.

The moon-cult morons could get any phreakin' moon-phase info they need from USA Today, but they're all wrapped up in superstitious mumbo-fucko gobbledy-gook and tell the dopey True Believers that only the "scholars" can deal with their ultra-trivial celestial issues. Those who've lived in places like Saudi and had to deal with the absurdly annoying prayer schedules and the silly annual brouhaha over when phreakin' Ramadan starts know precisely what I mean.

Islamic satellite. Yeah, sure thing - good idea. You don't teach basic health in school so grown men and women don't know which hole makes a baby, but you need a satellite - jointly controlled from Mekkah (LOL!) for the Mullahs. Perfect.
Posted by .com 2004-12-27 2:43:22 AM||   2004-12-27 2:43:22 AM|| Front Page Top

#2 Haven't they found out that the Earth is not the center of the universe and that Lunar calendars are not an accurate time measure.
Posted by Cheaderhead 2004-12-27 6:25:50 AM||   2004-12-27 6:25:50 AM|| Front Page Top

#3 It's worse than that Cheaderhead. The early aarabs were pretty good visual astronomers and had a fair grasp of stealler and solar motion....

They went with a lunar calendar in spite of their knowledge.... somethings don't change.
Posted by Shipman 2004-12-27 6:39:36 AM||   2004-12-27 6:39:36 AM|| Front Page Top

#4 So who will build and launch this satellite? Who will build the ground stations? Who will maintain the ground stations? Oh, I guess that be the west. Let me get this straight: the Muslims will use the technology and infrastructure of the Great Satan or its underlings to help determine the beginning of their holy days. Ironic isn’t it. Muslim leaders want the benefits of modern society to settle their religious disputes but cannot allow those same institutions to exist within their society without loosing their power.
Posted by Flaiting Slang1198 2004-12-27 8:04:18 AM||   2004-12-27 8:04:18 AM|| Front Page Top

#5 Dr Omar Al Khateeb, Head of Research and Fatwa Section
Now that gives me confidence! Is he researching fatwas or are fatwas considered the same as research? Something tells me that this is the same as firing guns into the air, just with larger "bullets" - it's gonna come down somewhere soon, watch your head!
Posted by Spot  2004-12-27 9:13:00 AM||   2004-12-27 9:13:00 AM|| Front Page Top

#6 Gentlemen Please calm down.
The "Islamic Satelite" will never Happen.
The Shiites will issue a Fatwa(TM) against any Sunny Satelite and the Sunny's will never tolerate a Shiite Satelite.

Question : how can you tell between a true "Islamic Satelite" and a regular "Dhimmi Satelite ??

Answer : The "Islamic satelite" turns towards Mecca 5 times a day.
Posted by EoZ 2004-12-27 9:28:38 AM||   2004-12-27 9:28:38 AM|| Front Page Top

#7 The advantages of Islamic communication satellite --- watch execution of infidels on live show?
Posted by gromgorru  2004-12-27 9:30:20 AM||   2004-12-27 9:30:20 AM|| Front Page Top

#8 P.S.
The Scientific progress of the Islamics is mind-boggling.
We will soon also encounter "High-Tech Fatwas"
from the same Fatwa section.....
That's what I call scientific spin-off :)
Posted by EoZ 2004-12-27 9:32:06 AM||   2004-12-27 9:32:06 AM|| Front Page Top

#9 Baaah, baaaah, baaaah, baaaaah
Posted by abu Sputnik 2004-12-27 9:34:45 AM||   2004-12-27 9:34:45 AM|| Front Page Top

#10 P.S.S

Truely, this could turn into a whole new industry.
For Example, just consider the immense clerical possibilities of the "Anti-Satelite Fatwa(TM)".
This could give the retards an entire religious renaissance !
From now on we swear only by "Muhammad PBUH and his Islamic Satelite"
Posted by EoZ 2004-12-27 9:38:30 AM||   2004-12-27 9:38:30 AM|| Front Page Top

#11 Direc(from Allan)TV
Posted by Frank G  2004-12-27 9:51:24 AM||   2004-12-27 9:51:24 AM|| Front Page Top

#12 Seriously,
At least in the near future the Islamic countries can save a lot of money by simply renting space for Monrise detection cameras on US Cruise Missiles headed for Iran's Nuclear sites.
The commercial opportunities are enticing.....
Posted by EoZ 2004-12-27 9:54:33 AM||   2004-12-27 9:54:33 AM|| Front Page Top

#13 Special news edition!!!

Reliable Mossad sources reveal that the new Islamic Satellite will be powered by a new Islamic technology " the "Camel Dung Operated Islamic Power generator".

Glory Be to Allah !
Posted by EoZ 2004-12-27 10:00:14 AM||   2004-12-27 10:00:14 AM|| Front Page Top

#14 Wait,
you aint seen nothin' yet

We proudly present the new "Stochastic Fatwa generator" from the same fatwa section in collaboration with Al-Azhar Islamic University.

You provide the target and it will autmatically
and effortlessly generate the Fatwa.

orders are now being accepted (Cash Only).
Posted by throllong Dumbeh 119 2004-12-27 10:06:01 AM||   2004-12-27 10:06:01 AM|| Front Page Top

#15 Fatwas generators already exist - they just go by many names (mullahs, imams, sheiks, etc.). Unfortunately, it's a growth industry.
Posted by Spot  2004-12-27 11:14:01 AM||   2004-12-27 11:14:01 AM|| Front Page Top

#16 #4, I suspect there are lots of French and other officials willing to help the Muslim world build and operate this thing. And I don't think the real reason for them wanting satellites is to check on moonrise timing.
Posted by too true 2004-12-27 11:29:05 AM||   2004-12-27 11:29:05 AM|| Front Page Top

#17 Better yet. Let's form a Rantburg Space Division and bid the job. We could underbid anyone else and pocket the $8 million or so, because our implementation would be a PC simulation of a sattellite which would report crescent moon sightings for a few months, then mysteriously die due to incorrect commands being sent by the inept ground controllers in SA or Egypt. Nearly $8 mil in pure profit...
Posted by DO 2004-12-27 12:00:11 PM||   2004-12-27 12:00:11 PM|| Front Page Top

#18 DO I believe you have a future in ME battle management.
Posted by Shipman 2004-12-27 6:17:48 PM||   2004-12-27 6:17:48 PM|| Front Page Top

#19 Rumor has it that their next effort will involve building a high-power field effect electron microscope to determine exactly how many angels can dance on the head of a hand grenade pin.
Posted by Zenster 2004-12-27 6:19:19 PM||   2004-12-27 6:19:19 PM|| Front Page Top

#20 You guys are just MEAN!!
Posted by Weird Al 2004-12-27 6:58:32 PM||   2004-12-27 6:58:32 PM|| Front Page Top

#21 Would the Islamic Satellite (piss be upon it) be infallible?
Wouldn't it be fun to rig a directional array and hack it? How do you figure Mooslimbs would like to have Ramadan 5 months in a row?
Posted by Asedwich  2004-12-27 7:44:29 PM||   2004-12-27 7:44:29 PM|| Front Page Top

#22  Ramadan 5 months in a row?

now that's a nice touch Asedwich!
Posted by Frank G  2004-12-27 7:48:46 PM||   2004-12-27 7:48:46 PM|| Front Page Top

#23 Thanks Frank! :) I like to encourage mischief anywhere I can...
Posted by Asedwich  2004-12-27 8:07:53 PM||   2004-12-27 8:07:53 PM|| Front Page Top

#24 Can we fix the thing to call them to prayers about 800 times a day?
Posted by tu3031 2004-12-27 8:28:51 PM||   2004-12-27 8:28:51 PM|| Front Page Top

#25 Aren't they already called to prayer about 800 times a day?

Oops, I miscounted. Ah well, 5, 800, not a big difference there...
Posted by trailing daughter of the trailing wife 2004-12-27 10:37:59 PM||   2004-12-27 10:37:59 PM|| Front Page Top

#26 May I introduce my elder daughter? She is the one who peeks over my shoulder as I scroll through the site, giggling madly along with me (and offering what she thinks of as sarcastic comments, tee hee!).
Posted by  trailing wife 2004-12-27 10:42:08 PM||   2004-12-27 10:42:08 PM|| Front Page Top

#27 wait a minute! How do I know you're not just Kleagle Thrumptor trying to hide as TW and kin?
Posted by Frank G  2004-12-27 10:46:32 PM||   2004-12-27 10:46:32 PM|| Front Page Top

#28 I have a hunch that the individual out in front of the trailing family really isn't the one in charge...
Posted by Classical_Liberal 2004-12-27 10:48:31 PM||   2004-12-27 10:48:31 PM|| Front Page Top

#29 He buys me cinnamon buns!
Posted by trailing daughter of the trailing wife 2004-12-27 10:54:57 PM||   2004-12-27 10:54:57 PM|| Front Page Top

#30 But we do too let Mr. Wife be in charge whenever he wants! And who on earth would want to pretend to be us, when there are so many more exciting people to impersonate? Murat, f'r instance, or .com ...
Posted by trailing wife 2004-12-27 10:59:03 PM||   2004-12-27 10:59:03 PM|| Front Page Top

#31 ;-) just teasing, of course
Posted by Frank G  2004-12-27 11:16:08 PM||   2004-12-27 11:16:08 PM|| Front Page Top

#32 With a little adroit manipulation, we could have them bowing down and praying toward Disneyland.
Posted by Atomic Conspiracy 2004-12-27 11:31:16 PM||   2004-12-27 11:31:16 PM|| Front Page Top

#33 Well met, Trailing Daughter! Grab yerself a terminal and pull up to the bar. We're in for a wild ride.
Posted by Asedwich  2004-12-27 11:34:26 PM||   2004-12-27 11:34:26 PM|| Front Page Top

#34 Nice to meet you, trailing daughter!
Posted by Seafarious  2004-12-27 11:57:24 PM||   2004-12-27 11:57:24 PM|| Front Page Top

#35 I'd like to offer a belated welcome to Trailing Daughter as well.

Alas, I have no cinnamon buns to offer a proper welcome.
Posted by Phil Fraering 2004-12-27 11:59:36 PM|| [http://newsfromthefridge.typepad.com]  2004-12-27 11:59:36 PM|| Front Page Top

#36 Welcome aboard, trailing daughter!
Posted by Zenster 2004-12-28 12:02:10 AM||   2004-12-28 12:02:10 AM|| Front Page Top

00:31 .com
00:02 Zenster
23:59 Phil Fraering
23:59 mojo
23:57 Seafarious
23:52 gromgorru
23:43 joeblow
23:40 .com
23:39 BH
23:36 Asedwich
23:34 Asedwich
23:31 Atomic Conspiracy
23:26 Zenster
23:19 Atomic Conspiracy
23:16 Frank G
23:13 joeblow
23:11  trailing wife
23:08 trailng daughter of the trailing wife
23:06 trailing daughter of the trailing wife
23:01 Zenster
22:59 trailing wife
22:54 trailing daughter of the trailing wife
22:53  trailing wife
22:51 Zenster









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