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2006-10-09 -Short Attention Span Theater-
Tom Cruise sues over butt plug
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Posted by Chinter Flarong9283 2006-10-09 09:42|| || Front Page|| [11130 views since 2007-05-07]  Top

#1 "My client is tired of being the butt of jokes about his sexuality," said Mr. Cruise' attorney Marvin Keister.

YJCMTSU.
Posted by anonymous5089 2006-10-09 11:03||   2006-10-09 11:03|| Front Page Top

#2 Ick. No doubt Tom Cruise believes he needs to control production of his image in matters both great and small, lest it become generic like Kleenex or Xerox, but still.
Posted by trailing wife 2006-10-09 11:12||   2006-10-09 11:12|| Front Page Top

#3 The Paris Hilton "vagina between her shoulder blades" story at the same link is, by far, the superior laugh.
Posted by Thinemp Whimble2412 2006-10-09 11:18||   2006-10-09 11:18|| Front Page Top

#4 
although Mr. Cruise endorses regular high colonic cleansing and Vitamin K enemas, he is offended by the notion of butt plugs in general and of those with his face on them in particular."

Trey Guccione, CEO of Holesome Fun, responded angrily to Mr. Cruise' lawsuit.

"Like I'm sure Tom's never been shitfaced before," said Mr. Guccione. "He can take his lawsuit, hold it sideways, and stick it where the sun don't shine."
This is a joke "story," right?

Please tell me it's not real.
Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut  2006-10-09 11:28|| http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/page/15bk1/Home_Page.html]">[http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/page/15bk1/Home_Page.html]  2006-10-09 11:28|| Front Page Top

#5 Please tell me it's not real.

I think it's an Onion-like mag, given the headlines in the sidebar. Or, at least, I hope...
Posted by anonymous5089 2006-10-09 11:36||   2006-10-09 11:36|| Front Page Top

#6 But, if Marv Keister the a-hole lawyer is a parody, that means Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe isn't a real law firm either!
Posted by Phineter Thraviger1073 2006-10-09 11:56||   2006-10-09 11:56|| Front Page Top

#7 I hope Tom gets to the bottom of this!
Posted by Phineter Thraviger1073 2006-10-09 12:02||   2006-10-09 12:02|| Front Page Top

#8 Cruise missle?
Posted by Glaling Angomose9998 2006-10-09 13:19||   2006-10-09 13:19|| Front Page Top

#9 No, my gerbil does not look like Tom Cruise!
I'm really getting sick of that shit...
Posted by Richard Gere 2006-10-09 13:25||   2006-10-09 13:25|| Front Page Top

#10 YJCMTSU!!!

"My client is tired of being the butt of jokes about his sexuality," said Mr. Cruise' attorney Marvin Keister.

Great choice of words by someone whose name alone probably makes him an expert.
Posted by Zenster">Zenster  2006-10-09 15:26||   2006-10-09 15:26|| Front Page Top

#11 Through his publisist Mr Cruise said "If anyone is going to have my head up his ass, it's going to be me."
Posted by Cheaderhead 2006-10-09 16:35||   2006-10-09 16:35|| Front Page Top

#12 with a plug (pun intended) like this this guy will probably make lots of dough and happily pay his lawyer. Hope Tom Cruise is in on the deal.
Posted by Clkethel OHlkdj 2006-10-09 19:00||   2006-10-09 19:00|| Front Page Top

#13 As long as the butt plugs were caricatures of the celebrities, not accurate reproductions taken from copyrighted materials, they cannot be stopped.

In fact, celebrity butt plugs could become a big deal as novelties. Imagine if just before the first democrat primary debate, someone sold these "cute little dolls" to the unsuspecting crowd.

Only later would they find out that they bought a butt plug of their favorite candidate.

Then whoever sold them could publish which democrat candidate was most popular, based on the number of butt plugs their followers purchased.

...and Karl Rove's "Bwahahahaha!" is heard, far off into the night.
Posted by Anonymoose 2006-10-09 19:19||   2006-10-09 19:19|| Front Page Top

#14 You're frightening, 'moose. ;-p
Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut  2006-10-09 19:28|| http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/page/15bk1/Home_Page.html]">[http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/page/15bk1/Home_Page.html]  2006-10-09 19:28|| Front Page Top

#15 Ummm guys ....

I'm pretty sure this is from a PARODY site. I wouldn't start writing up business plans quite yet ....

shakes head, laughing silently
Posted by lotp 2006-10-09 20:45||   2006-10-09 20:45|| Front Page Top

#16 Tom is being a real a@@hole.
Posted by anon 2006-10-09 20:47||   2006-10-09 20:47|| Front Page Top

#17 YJCMTSU

And yet they did.
Some funny "news" items.
Posted by J.D. Lux 2006-10-09 20:52||   2006-10-09 20:52|| Front Page Top

#18 if Tom gets palsy, would that lead to a vibrating model?
Posted by Frank G">Frank G  2006-10-09 21:14||   2006-10-09 21:14|| Front Page Top

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