Article

2010-03-26 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Police: Man tried to revive dead possum; alcohol involved

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Posted by Atomic Conspiracy 2010-03-26 13:59|| || Front Page|| [11128 views ] Top

Posted by Atomic Conspiracy 2010-03-26 14:31|| 2010-03-26 14:31|| Front Page Top

#2 How many banjo players does it take to eat a possum?

Two, one to watch for traffic.

Posted by KBK 2010-03-26 15:58|| 2010-03-26 15:58|| Front Page Top

#3 My children are hungry, my dog needs a bone.
I'm out of a job now, so I'm just drivin' home.
An hour after sundown, when what to my delight,
There's five pounds of possum in my headlights tonight.

cho: There's five pounds of possum in my headlights tonight.
If I can just run him over, every thing will be all right.
We'll have some possum gravy, oh what a beautiful sight;
There's five pounds of possum in my headlights tonight.

Won't have to clean no chicken, won't have to open no cans.
Just a little bit closer, and I'll have him in my hands.
I think the time has come now, to go from "dim" to "bright."
There's five pounds of possum in my headlights tonight.

Posted by KBK 2010-03-26 16:09|| 2010-03-26 16:09|| Front Page Top

#4 Why did the chicken cross the road?

To prove to the possum it could be done.

Thankew, thankew - I'll be here ~~interminably~~ all week. Try the veal. :-D

Posted by Barbara Skolaut 2010-03-26 16:16|| 2010-03-26 16:16|| Front Page Top

#5 I've eaten it. Not too bad. I prefer Armadillo though.

Posted by john frum 2010-03-26 16:21|| 2010-03-26 16:21|| Front Page Top

#6 And no, it does not taste like chicken

Posted by john frum 2010-03-26 16:22|| 2010-03-26 16:22|| Front Page Top

#7 Update from CBS News (so you know it's true)

Police: Drunk Pa. Man Tried To Revive Dead Opossum

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. (AP) - Police say they charged a Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen trying to resuscitate a long-dead opossum along a highway. State police Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal Thursday along Route 36 in Oliver Township, about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh. The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance.
He says another saw Wolfe attempting to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Levier says the animal already had been dead a while. The Associated Press could not locate a home telephone number for Wolfe. (emphasis added)

Reminds me of the time I found a local street preacher mumbling and gesticulating in my parking lot. He was trying to cast out a visitor's Dodge Demon. I told him we would just have it towed if it caused any problems.

Posted by Atomic Conspiracy 2010-03-26 17:00|| 2010-03-26 17:00|| Front Page Top

#8 He had better be careful, because unless he says "Klaatu Barada Nikto" just right, he might create himself a zombie possum. And nobody wants that.

Posted by Anonymoose 2010-03-26 17:27|| 2010-03-26 17:27|| Front Page Top

#9 If there is no one to claim this `cat`, there is always other possibilities:

Posted by BigEd 2010-03-26 17:37|| 2010-03-26 17:37|| Front Page Top

#10 personally, i find possums to be kind of cute. we had one that used to come up on the porch one winter. it tamed down and became a pseudo pet. they have pretty amazing feet. opposable thumbs on all four. the tails have soft hair on them and feel pretty bizarre.

Posted by abu do you love 2010-03-26 19:39|| 2010-03-26 19:39|| Front Page Top

#11 A few years ago I lived in the woods (I Own 10 Acres) and we had Possums, Deer, Coons and Bobcats peacefuly dining alongside my cats outside.
(Some of my Kitens were quite large, made wonderful housecats) 15 pounds of lovable Tomcats. Unsure of their parentage. maybe half Bobcat.(No ear tufts)

Posted by Redneck Jim 2010-03-26 20:00|| 2010-03-26 20:00|| Front Page Top

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